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The Untold Story of Brando's 62-Year-Old Legend/ Episode 006 Part 3/ Brandon Kloss

/ 01:14:18/E6 Download MP3
Chrissy:

Alright. We're gonna do a drink five. It's Cayman Jack we're we're another zero sugar.

Paul:

Oh, dude.

Chrissy:

Cayman Jack zero sugar, which is sorry, Mark. I'm not at least telling these guys they're fat or something.

Brandon:

I I'm on my diet day, apparently.

Chrissy:

Right? Rita and Strata

Paul:

cheat day. This is bullshit. So

Chrissy:

here's their lime.

Paul:

I love cayman Jack.

Chrissy:

This is regular

Brandon:

My exel means

Chrissy:

zero sugar. 4.8%

Paul:

alcohol. These things are fucking bomb as fucking. You can drink like 30 of them, but then they're gonna give you heartburn.

Brandon:

To the worst got rot in the world.

Paul:

Yeah. I This is a

Chrissy:

new variety pack that comes mango, strawberry, lime, and passion. Oh my god. That's So this is the one.

Paul:

This isn't near as bad as the other ones.

Brandon:

For a non for sugar free one?

Chrissy:

Oh, this is better than the Mike's

Brandon:

sugar free. Well, half of them taste like aspartame, like

Chrissy:

This Yeah. Yeah.

Paul:

This is better than The the sugar

Chrissy:

free is disgusting.

Paul:

Well, fucking I've never had those. Just the regular Cayman Jacks. This

Chrissy:

not bad.

Paul:

Yeah. This isn't gonna give you heartburn, don't think. I feel like

Chrissy:

It's pretty good, actually. I like it. Now, we got the strawberry.

Brandon:

Yep. That for sugar free, was pretty.

Chrissy:

These ones got warm, so because we're blabbing.

Paul:

That's We got off track.

Brandon:

That's the point though.

Chrissy:

That's alright. Cheers.

Brandon:

Cheers, mate. Get in. You're get some rattlesnakes and condoms. Two things I'll never fuck with.

Paul:

Two things I'll never fuck with? Is that what you said?

Chrissy:

Yeah. And you have no kids?

Brandon:

Correct. There's a condom in every asshole.

Chrissy:

That you know of.

Brandon:

That's why I always dated older brides with the, you know, they got the

Chrissy:

They're already in their change of life.

Brandon:

Yeah. Built in birth control.

Paul:

Jesus Christ.

Chrissy:

That's getting up there.

Brandon:

Oh, god. I got a story of don't know if that's gotta be recorded.

Chrissy:

Alright. I got a phone.

Brandon:

Bashorette bus shows up, and it's all older women. Oh. And this girl won't leave me alone.

Chrissy:

Two year old that you're making out with.

Brandon:

Yeah. And then, like, I looked at my cousin Chet and he lived in Stacy at the time and he has told me a story of he slept with this old bride. He's like, hold was that old bride you slept with? He's like, 58. I'm beating you tonight, motherfucker.

Brandon:

62. I'm a break a bitch's hip. Dude. So

Chrissy:

did you ask her age?

Brandon:

Yeah. She's 62.

Chrissy:

She was 62.

Brandon:

She had a fucking rejuvenated

Chrissy:

What happened to the 22?

Brandon:

Brand new rejuvenated vagina and fake tits. Right? What? Just a rich old broad. Wow.

Brandon:

So I bring her back to the fucking cabin. Right. And like, I'm finger blasting her up on the top balcony. She's like squirting down into the kitchen onto my fucking friends down the

Paul:

kitchen. Yes.

Brandon:

Dude, and I went for seconds in the morning. It was like prom night all over again.

Paul:

Oh my was impressive.

paul:

What are the

Brandon:

seriously, it was like I was like, fuck yeah.

Chrissy:

What okay. So what happened to the 22 year old?

Brandon:

Who cares? Fuck. I care. I fucking went to the old one.

paul:

Yeah. Right?

Brandon:

Beat my cousins up.

Chrissy:

You just walked her.

Brandon:

She's got a branched vagina.

Paul:

You're pissed.

Chrissy:

With a 22 year old. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Brandon:

Yeah. But I left her. And then I so then I

Paul:

had to bring the

Chrissy:

62 year old.

Brandon:

Yeah. Was it it's like super fucking awkward. Yeah. And then it

Paul:

sounds way

Brandon:

better. Next morning, my cousin had to catch a flight in the morning and, like, he took off with the key for my bike because I rode his bike home on the sandy ass road hammered with his brother in the back.

Paul:

Dude, I love dirt road.

Brandon:

Like, I get out like, I get out in the morning like, fuck. I don't have a key. So we're fucking here. The other guy that's with us like is also a players guy.

Paul:

Right? So you gotta get the fucking

Brandon:

So we hot fired the fucking goddamn bike.

paul:

Why don't you just get the

Brandon:

had cross like six no. Yeah. We were fucking. It was a

Paul:

it was

Brandon:

a thing.

Paul:

You don't know the master code?

Brandon:

No. No. We hot wired this fucking thing. And I'm like, you wanna give her a ride? Because he had a two seater and he's like, mm-mm.

Brandon:

You ride my bike. We had to bring her right back to town. We get to her hotel. All of her friends are outside as we're dropping her off and they're all just like, oh, walking. Oh, I gave her a big old smack on the ass and she walks away.

Brandon:

Dude, they're all just fucking laughing. She turns red. Dude, it was

paul:

Hey, man. Thanks for that.

Paul:

It was nice. It was She

Brandon:

was good looking but the worst part was is like like she was in great shape, everything. Like so I was completely fine with it. I had I had no remorse. Like couple months later, we go to the Grand Casino for Aaron Lewis concert and we go to pregame at one of the bars and fucking relax there. Yep.

Brandon:

And I go to get shots. All of a sudden, there's this girl walking towards me and she's just smiling and

Paul:

I was like, no Fucking no. It's happening with an

Brandon:

old dog. Oh, no. It's like, I'm there with my family and shit. Right? I'm ordering shots and she hugs me and everything.

Brandon:

How you doing? I'm just like, shit. And then I go back to the table like,

Chrissy:

released or you

Brandon:

Who was that old lady? They're like, she was really happy to see you.

Paul:

I was like, oh, it's one of

Brandon:

my good friend's moms. Don't know. Producer lady that

Paul:

watched our video tape that we did last week. Don't fucking know.

Brandon:

Oh, dude. I can't

Paul:

remember. Fuck. When I

Chrissy:

was Now they're gonna know.

Brandon:

I was 18 and I fucking slept with my

Paul:

parents and friends.

Brandon:

Right? And she yeah. She was old there. Dude, she was fucking Yes. She was in her thirties, you know, big fake boobies and shit.

Brandon:

I remember, like, our our my family puts on this Alzheimer's ride or whatever and we were posting up the newspaper of some family, you know, like helping out the community or whatever. And I get this text message. She's like, motherfucker, you said you were 23. You know, I'm 18. And she's like a bartender and everything serving me.

Brandon:

Oh. I'd go there and she like gave me the key to her house and be like just be there when I'm there. I'm

Paul:

like, oh yes. That sounds good. I got woke up

Brandon:

by her kid one morning and said, you're not dad? And I was that was the most fucking awkward thing I've ever seen. You Have

Chrissy:

you ever been screwing a girl or and then the husband comes home? Either one of you?

Brandon:

I I have morals. Like, I if I know somebody's, like, married or something, like, yeah. I don't fuck with it. Right. I'm arresting you Right.

Brandon:

Too. It happened one time that I've, like, slept somebody that was married and like I was like very unhappy with myself at the end of it. Yeah. Like even though I didn't know because Yeah. Like I wouldn't want that to happen to me.

Brandon:

Like it it's fucked up. Right? You know what I mean? Like no. So thankfully, I've not had that.

Chrissy:

Okay.

Brandon:

The one time was actually he was in prison. So I didn't have to worry about it. Till he got out and then but the nice thing was is he thought it was my brother, so he was after my brother and not me.

Chrissy:

He's a murderer.

Brandon:

Yeah. My brother came home one night just pissed because he got in a bar fight because the guy thought I was Oh, no. Was the one

Chrissy:

Do you look a lot like your brother or does

Brandon:

he look At the time, he did. Right? Yeah. So we've kind of like morphed a little bit. Now, like, I used to look me and my older brother used to look a lot alike, and now me and my younger brother look a lot alike.

Paul:

You know

Brandon:

what mean?

Chrissy:

Alright. Let's get back into your union insulator insulator career. I know you worked with Mike.

Brandon:

Yep. Showed I showed him a thing or two.

Chrissy:

Before Mike.

Paul:

Showed him all the stuff and things.

Chrissy:

He's the golden boy.

Brandon:

Or for Mike because he he was a he was a man for He was our a guy the whole time. I've never worked with him on tools.

Chrissy:

You haven't?

Brandon:

No. Oh, okay. Nope. Well,

Chrissy:

cool. Alright. So how was he as a boss? He's standing right there.

Paul:

That motherfucker.

Brandon:

Got mean, see it was great to work with him.

Paul:

Mean, we

Brandon:

we have similar So if you gotta call somebody else and shit get it done, get

Paul:

the fuck out of here.

Brandon:

Oh, absolutely. Yeah. That's right.

paul:

But it

Brandon:

goes back and forth. You know what I mean? Like

Chrissy:

He went from being like one of you and doing what you do and blah blah blah blah Yeah. To becoming now the guys that he worked with side by side all these years, now he's their boss.

Brandon:

Right.

Chrissy:

So it was a big transition.

Brandon:

Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. In Yep. And now, was like, I've had a little taste of like self employment and stuff like that there.

Brandon:

So like, I mean, I I foresee my future being my own boss, but

Chrissy:

Right. I don't think I could work for anybody else after I've owned this Yeah. Twenty six years.

Paul:

Well

Chrissy:

Like, I would be really really

Brandon:

After going from w two and seeing what October does, the difference in taxes?

Paul:

Oh, god, dude. Don't even Stupid. Get me

Brandon:

yard of a tax.

paul:

You can

Brandon:

make a 100 k a year and get money back without paying any taxes.

Chrissy:

But here you guys are blue collar

Paul:

What do

Brandon:

you got fucking right off?

Paul:

Blue Stupid. Collar. You should see mine.

Brandon:

W two's.

Chrissy:

Blue collar workers, I would say, 100%

Brandon:

construction ice. Yeah. I'll never not

Paul:

be a blue

Chrissy:

are all becoming millionaires Yeah. Through your pensions.

Brandon:

Well, right. There

Paul:

there is that.

Chrissy:

Be a millionaire.

Brandon:

But the thing is is

Paul:

like it's

Brandon:

such a process.

Paul:

Right? There will be.

Brandon:

But like, I've seen I've seen kind of a brighter side on certain things there is other investments out there that are fucking super smart on it and it's like I guarantee it's like if I took a half million dollars right now like let's say, okay, I'm I'm fucking 40 years old. I got twenty years before I can like legally retire from union. Same. Right? If took my pension out right now, dropped it and fucking went and lived the good life, sold everything and just worked for it and took that half million dollars and invested Yeah.

Brandon:

In real estate sit on that for twenty years, that real estate will make me more money than my retirement's going to. Because that's that's the way Do think so though? Dude, look at look at the inflation of real estate in the fucking past five years.

Chrissy:

Right. It's huge.

Paul:

What do

Brandon:

you know what mean? Dude, I just

Chrissy:

there's always what happened in 02/2008.

Brandon:

There's always what else. There's what that that was banked. That was a bank thing. Right? So, like That sucks.

Brandon:

And now it's now economy it's thing. But we are gonna see another crash. People don't realize

Paul:

it. Right?

Brandon:

So what We've only seen the start of Rate of interest And it's it has to do with years ago. It has no idea what to do with fucking Trump and it's all of a

Paul:

sudden now.

Brandon:

Right. Years ago, now it's impacting.

Paul:

If you bought real estate right now, say you bought say you just cash out your $4.00

Brandon:

Best real estate buy right now is Tennessee is the highest growing state in the fucking nation.

Paul:

So rate of interest, rate of return,

Brandon:

what do you think?

Chrissy:

Taxes are super cheap there too.

Brandon:

Oh, property taxes there? It was $16 a fucking year on one property I was looking at. 16 fucking dollars. Like, so you think about it. Alright.

Brandon:

So the the Alright. Here's the deal out there. You can buy the land super cheap right now. Knoxville is blowing up. The whole area is blowing up.

Brandon:

Knoxville is putting in an international airport. If you can swoop up any land in that area within the next five years of breaking ground on that, you're gonna come a kajillionaire off of a fucking thousand dollar property if you're in that area. Because it's gonna blow up. Well, that's my plan. Like that's that's what my whole Comp

Chrissy:

thing is is Like,

Brandon:

Like, I'm literally debating. I'm like, Holding up my own company.

Paul:

Show me the money. Where is it at? Let's here. I'll give you my I've

Brandon:

been I've been looking at this for, five years, dude.

Paul:

I guess it's a big isn't it? Well, it's not alpada.

Chrissy:

Is this?

Brandon:

No. It it's really not.

Chrissy:

Taxes. Property The taxes are fucking outrageous.

Brandon:

They're they're outrageous and yeah. There's Texas has got some issues with it. It really does. Like it's Nope. And I as good as it sounds, Texas has still got issues.

Chrissy:

Texas ten years ago was perfect. I don't know moving Right. Forward

Brandon:

Right.

Chrissy:

If that's the way to go.

Brandon:

But then Tennessee, like, I've been all over Tennessee and I tell you one thing. The one thing that

Paul:

was I love Tennessee.

Brandon:

Minnesota nice used to be a thing. Right? It really truly used to be a thing. I love Tennessee. You know, and I still hold that.

Brandon:

Right?

Paul:

I know. They're You

Brandon:

know, please, thank you, hold the door open, like that there. People don't do that a lot of places. I'm the guy that like, if I hold the door open for somebody and they kind of give me a scoff, I'll be like, thank you.

Paul:

Oh, you're welcome. Yeah. Right? I'll talk

Brandon:

I'll say it for myself. You know what I mean? And then they'll like feel like a dumbass because like, dude. Yeah. Seriously.

Brandon:

It's How hard does it say

Paul:

fucking thing?

Brandon:

It's free to not be a piece

paul:

of shit, Miles.

Brandon:

You know what I mean? You know what? We're Minnesota pass aggressive, We used to be Minnesota nice. Now we're gonna be pass

Paul:

aggressive. Free to be an asshole, so there's Right.

Brandon:

But I'd rather see you smile because smiles are contagious and I'd really see no.

Chrissy:

Louisiana has the fucking nicest people on the planet.

Brandon:

So I I have

Chrissy:

everybody is so nice.

Brandon:

It's a because like I've been in like the major like the tourist areas of Tennessee like on the East Side or whatever like they're dealing with the thousands of fucking assholes and people that don't want liberals that they don't want to deal with every fucking day. But then there's still like some of the nicest people like for a tourist area. Most tourist areas like the people are like working in the bars and restaurants and stuff are kind of crabby because they just don't wanna hear it.

Paul:

They just don't have you

Brandon:

been to New Orleans?

Paul:

As long

Brandon:

as you'd be nice. I have not been to New Orleans.

Paul:

Holy fuck. Never have I?

Brandon:

Never have.

Chrissy:

It makes Las Vegas look like daycare.

Brandon:

So I'm I'm not a big Vegas fan. I fucking hate Vegas. I don't gamble. I love Vegas. I don't gamble.

Chrissy:

But I don't I'm not a big gambler. Yeah. But I love it because there's

Paul:

just I just like the

Brandon:

the people watching on Fremont is like the best smoke. You have

Paul:

to go to

Brandon:

a conference. Let's go. Ridiculous. Fun. Yeah.

Brandon:

When's your birthday? And I were

Paul:

Let's go.

Chrissy:

Mine's July. It's coming up.

Brandon:

I mean, we'll just No. Cut it in

Paul:

the middle and let's go to fucking Yeah.

paul:

New Orleans.

Brandon:

Well, I like to do like I I I do a random shit. Fuck. I did two solo trips to Florida this winter and I slept Nice. I I booked a hotel room for five nights and I slept in it twice. I fucking Really?

Brandon:

I was staying in Sarasota and I woke up in fucking Tampa one morning. And the best part is I got a fucking Uber ride. Yeah. Jesus was picking me up in the morning. Jesus.

Brandon:

Jesus? I have a screenshot

Paul:

of it. Yeah. Of course.

Brandon:

Because I'm just like, I walked into the room. But this was super cool. Right? Yeah. So like, I rented a Harley.

Brandon:

The worst part is is right. I landed I landed there and like I got met bunch of people right away. Everybody was super cool. And then like I rented a Harley the next morning after I tore it up with all these random people that I met. Yeah.

Brandon:

And I go to the Harley dealership Yes. And I walk in and I'm still like half in the bag. Don't wanna talk to anybody. I'm like, dude, that was Tyler Childers. Like I just passed him.

Brandon:

Who? Tyler Childers.

Paul:

Country singer? Country singer.

Chrissy:

Oh, okay.

Brandon:

I was like, I'm pretty sure it was him. I get back in the service pay to rent the bike. Tyler Childers is on the service ticket. I'm like, holy fuck. Goddamn it.

Brandon:

Yeah. I love Tyler Childers. He's

Paul:

good country Yeah. Fuck yeah.

Brandon:

He's gonna love Tyler, but he's very good vocalist. Right? So like and then I rent this Harley and I go to like Saint Petersburg and I end up, you know, I passed apparently, passed passed these people on the road and then I'm walking up to this bar to grab lunch and stuff and they're like, these all these girls, there's a group of girls, there's like three girls, two guys that are natives from Maine and they were super cool. Right? So like, hey, come sit with you.

Brandon:

The girls like, you know, they're all over me and like fucking like, I'm like,

Paul:

come in, you

Brandon:

know, like

Paul:

hanging out Yeah. With

Brandon:

And so we we had some fun. How you doing? Yeah. Pretty much. But we're talking or whatever.

Brandon:

Next thing I know, we're bar hopping with each other and then like I wake up at their Airbnb that they rented. But anyways, so earlier that night like the dude's got this sick ass Indian tattoo on him like the Indian head. Right? And I'm like, that's badass.

Chrissy:

Like the motorcycle Indian or an Indian?

Brandon:

Well, yeah. Like a chief like that looked like the old school one. Right?

Paul:

Yep. Okay.

Brandon:

You want the coolest part? What? That was his grandfather. He was the nineteen twenties Indian fucking model head that they used. Yeah.

Brandon:

What? Is the chief for their fucking tribe and this guy was the new chief for the tribe and everything. He has to like seriously, like it's like it's still on my Snapchat and stuff. He's building a birch boot birch tree canoe right now and stuff. Cooler than fuck, you know.

Brandon:

These people are awesome. Like, they they treated me very kindly like Oh. We went I partied with them all night like Isn't

Chrissy:

it fun the random people you meet along

Brandon:

the Yeah. I like doing that. That's true.

Paul:

I'm you very fucking hop on a motorcycle and just go. Right?

Brandon:

Yeah.

Paul:

Just fucking end up wherever you are gonna meet the most random fucking badass But you yeah. Most genuine people in Because your you're

Brandon:

already in that personality. Yeah. Yeah. Like, you're free to talk to.

Paul:

You have to be part

Brandon:

of that too. Yeah. Yeah. Right? You have

Paul:

to be that same person Yep. Yeah. Talking to.

Brandon:

Harvard. I can tell you

Chrissy:

how many random people's homes I spent. Right? Oh, just meeting people and we end up at somebody's house for tonight. I'm like, I'm gonna get fucking murdered,

Paul:

wait till my asshole is

Brandon:

Oh, into a lampshade. I fucking Sweet. Yeah. Put myself in some for sure. But it's

Chrissy:

like Jim, I wasn't I was never really

Brandon:

At the end the Right. Yeah.

Paul:

That's Yeah.

Brandon:

He's a big fucker. Yeah. Yeah. You know? Yeah.

Brandon:

Yeah. Absolutely. It's like You know?

Chrissy:

Put us in danger all the time.

Brandon:

I feel like But there's that one t shirt though. It says, my dick has led me to places I wouldn't go with a gun.

Paul:

Just

Chrissy:

can't beat a gun. Like, if you someone shoots you, you know, Jamaica. Jamaica. That's not a fucking safe island

Brandon:

to be

paul:

on, you

Chrissy:

know. He's like, what he doesn't wanna go to the stay in resort. He wants to go in all the fucking sketchy areas, you know, where it's

Brandon:

fucking Yeah.

Chrissy:

Prime ridden.

Paul:

Yeah.

Chrissy:

Yeah. And it's like, two natives picked us up in their fucking little kayak or whatever they had. And they're

Paul:

like Duramax. Down

paul:

that fucking river

Chrissy:

where it's like

Paul:

dude, you guys. We were I was supposed to go to some black bearded fucking deep sea diving thing for like seven days, but I ended up not going because I ended up breaking my beautiful and, like Yeah.

Chrissy:

You guys would both love it.

Paul:

But Oh, yeah.

Brandon:

I've heard good things.

Paul:

Well, I feel like Scuba.

Chrissy:

Meet someone because they got pot or whatever because everybody's got pot and then they're sketchy and

Brandon:

Yeah. It's brick we.

Chrissy:

Me and my cousin will take you on the river ride or whatever in our little canoe.

Paul:

You're like hard pass. Just go get it.

Brandon:

No. We would go.

Chrissy:

We're like or whatever and I'm thinking all it takes is one of them to split his throat and then I'm fucked. I'm now a freaking Jamaican slave.

Brandon:

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, you're you turned into a Jamaican got bomb sled. Position one time, actually.

Chrissy:

I'm like, I I'm always nervous, Nelly, though.

Brandon:

Yep. But yeah. Yeah. I got fucking I got pulled into this fucking restaurant one time and this guy's just, like, offering me every drug there possibly And I don't even know half the shit that he's saying. I'm just like

Chrissy:

airport at Jamaica. I have the best.

Brandon:

I have the best Every one of and he's got fucking blow on it. I'm just like

Chrissy:

Oh, yeah.

Brandon:

This guy's gonna slit my throat. I'm just like Yeah.

Paul:

Yeah. Yep.

Brandon:

Can I get the fuck out of here? Like, dude, it was so yeah. I I didn't have I don't know if

Paul:

that shit We went to

Brandon:

like this o'clock. Whatever

Paul:

it is.

Chrissy:

Yeah. Nobody is. It's

Paul:

Dude, wouldn't. Yeah. Before back in the day, yeah. Larry, let's fucking party. Let's fucking hit that.

Brandon:

Well, see what happens. Yeah.

Paul:

But now

Brandon:

it's and everything nowadays.

Paul:

Nowadays, it's like they just fucking buy that shit, comes in a brick, and you don't know if you're gonna get all of that fentanyl in one hit or it's No.

Chrissy:

But you sent her with Marie

Paul:

and Yeah. I know

paul:

her brother.

Paul:

Well, that's what she was saying too. Same fucking thing. Dude, it's it's not regulated. No one fucking mixes it all up, so you don't know. So you're like Yeah.

Paul:

It could be all of it.

Chrissy:

Being the fat guy actually went to prison for is a very rare

Brandon:

Yeah.

Paul:

Thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. One of the first deals or whatever.

Brandon:

Yeah. Yeah. So like literally like so like we're writing this. So like literally I seen I was in Sturgis one time and I like to have a little fun like literally like What? I had a lot and like I was literally doing a lot.

Brandon:

Right? And like I was having a good time and I was talking and I apparent dude, lost like all confidence, everything and like fell over a jersey barrier. Right? And apparently like I woke up with an IV in my arm. But I fucking

Chrissy:

You woke up with an IV in your arm?

Brandon:

IV in my arm. Right? I wake up in

Paul:

a trail.

Brandon:

I think I had found fentanyl. Oh. Yeah. Like Did it? And yeah.

Brandon:

So like literally like these people like this guy apparently stopped at the golf cart and they're like, I was just talking to that guy because my friends were there.

Paul:

Yeah.

Brandon:

Like that was You can't Right? Shit. Anything.

Paul:

Well, it

Brandon:

was yeah. Right. I didn't pass. Realistically. Right.

Brandon:

But so now I have friends that actually like if you know people too or whatever like they have if you go even on Amazon, they have fentanyl testing strips. They do? It's they're literally like 10 of them for $20.

Chrissy:

They're cheap. Do with them?

Brandon:

Buy them and give them to your friends.

Chrissy:

No. I mean,

Paul:

what You

Brandon:

you literally put a little bit on there and then wet it down and it'll What change you like lick

paul:

the trip

Brandon:

and then dip it if through? You're buying cocaine

Chrissy:

or whatever, you can test it.

Brandon:

You can test it with Yeah.

Chrissy:

So like What about weed?

Brandon:

Yeah. But I I feel like everything that's been like posted up with fentanyl and weed has been a placebo thing to kinda scare people away from it.

Chrissy:

Is it?

Brandon:

Okay. I don't know a single fucking person that's actually that can actually confirm this because that's that's just I I don't why why the fuck would you?

Chrissy:

I don't

Brandon:

know. You're spending more money to give somebody fentanyl basically. Yeah. Because weed's already fucking good. Why are you Yeah.

Brandon:

Adding

Paul:

And it's

Brandon:

Why would you add

Paul:

that to it? Even if even fentanyl.

Brandon:

It's like people saying that there's drugs in in candy. Like, I've been looking for years and still have not fallen free from cocaine and candy. Right? Right. This is not happening.

Brandon:

Right? They're just giving

Paul:

away weed and shit. Long cabarers are in a fucking

Brandon:

there's no guns in there, no knives, like,

Paul:

know fucking golden ticket right now.

Brandon:

There's just bulls a lot

Paul:

of candy.

Brandon:

Oh, everybody preaches it every year before Halloween. Oh, Check your candy for your fucking razor blades and shit. Yeah. Well, is some sick fucks out there, but like, nobody's spending a $100 to

Paul:

fucking fuck motherfucker. To, like, taped razor blades, some monkey bars.

Brandon:

Yeah. So I've been hearing that too. What?

Paul:

That was this this yeah. This was like a year or two ago.

Brandon:

Yeah. Well, they were doing that to that and gas pumps. Yeah. It was a big thing but they were all testing positive for like HIV and

Paul:

I never heard I never Yeah. I never heard the gas pumps but like any like playground Yeah.

Brandon:

You go to

Paul:

the monkey bars and they have like razor blades so when kids go up there and they're just like What's

Chrissy:

wrong with people?

Paul:

Yeah. People are fucking psyched.

Chrissy:

What hurting are little kids for?

Brandon:

Well, I I just I mean, hurting hurting anybody on purpose

Chrissy:

Well, but

Brandon:

pleasure is just kinda fucked up. Dogs. Oh, god. Yeah. Dude, the dog.

Brandon:

Kids thing. Like, I don't know. Yeah. I've seen the whole kids getting

Paul:

beat up. Hands, you're gonna catch hollow points.

Brandon:

Yeah. Okay. Absolutely. Catch brass motherfucker. We're gonna

Paul:

ready to

Chrissy:

drink six, guys. We have a buzz ball, a new flavor. I wasn't expecting this to be blue when it says cherry berry cherry. Cherry lemon. It's blueberry cherry.

Chrissy:

A 15% alcohol in this tiny little buzz ball.

Paul:

Yeah. It

Chrissy:

comes in well, is a new flavor, but we also have chocolate chiller.

Paul:

Let's play Zumi Zumi. Alright. Zumie Zumie 1112222233. 3344. 4488.

Brandon:

Oh, goodness. Drake, you

Paul:

had one job.

Brandon:

I don't

Paul:

even know what

Brandon:

you guys are talking about.

Paul:

You guys Get it get it out on the screen.

Chrissy:

Podcast ever. It's gonna be like five parts. Mhmm.

Paul:

Oh. Oh.

Brandon:

What was the other one?

Paul:

What the fuck was

Chrissy:

that? Strong. But that's what buzz balls are.

Paul:

It's got a weird fucking Did a homeless man make this? Yeah. In his bathtub?

Brandon:

With rubbing alcohol?

Paul:

Did he shower and then fucking I feel like I got disgust from a fucking his nutsack after Why?

Chrissy:

I why don't I mind it?

Paul:

It was like an 80 degree day. This dude's hot as fuck and he's rubbing his nuts.

Brandon:

This was what's left over the Boone's Farm. Ran down his ass crazy.

Paul:

Yeah. Yeah. In the For the Boone's lion. The fuzz the fuzz that just they scraped

Brandon:

The doctor Famundo cheese.

Paul:

They scraped it off

Chrissy:

the bomb. Like it. I don't know.

Brandon:

Yeah. It's Fermando cheese after wearing edible underwear.

Chrissy:

For $3?

Brandon:

Oh my god. That's all it is. Get you there.

Paul:

Yeah. Oh, I drink the fuck out of this for $3.

Brandon:

When we're in California, we're this bar next to this hotel.

Chrissy:

It's I'm telling you, one of them is 15% alcohol.

Brandon:

Well, they make the one seven five of those fucking things now.

Chrissy:

No. I know. This flavor. Retarded.

Paul:

What what flavor is this?

Chrissy:

Oh, I said the hard r. No.

Paul:

You didn't say the real hard r.

Brandon:

I said

Chrissy:

real hard r.

Paul:

No. The one I said last one.

Chrissy:

That's the hard r? Yeah.

Paul:

That one is you.

Chrissy:

Oh, yeah. We can't say that.

Brandon:

No. You say Canadians.

Chrissy:

We can't say that. Yeah. That's an n.

Brandon:

Replace that with Canadians.

Paul:

No. It Is

Chrissy:

that an r?

Paul:

No. It say the word with the n. Yeah. Yeah. I'm

Chrissy:

not saying it. Yeah. Neither are you. That's why I said,

Brandon:

so what?

Chrissy:

I don't know what you guys you guys didn't like this at all? But for $3.59?

Paul:

Dude, for $3, I would clap. Now I know what the homeless guy is doing with

paul:

my $4. Yeah. Right. He clap.

Brandon:

He just ran fucking Everclear down the

Paul:

ass of his crap and

paul:

fucking in that ball

Paul:

and bottled it. And now we're drinking it. Yeah. He says $1.51 and you're gonna get fucked. Probably caster'd it.

Paul:

Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Alright. That's why it's got that little funk to it. I chugged it.

Paul:

I'm so good. It's like it's like fucking God. It's like kool aid. It's like blue kool aid one fifty one and like Yeah. Somebody washed their armpits or nutsack and then

Brandon:

drained the water out of

Paul:

the rag and put it in the cup.

Brandon:

Maybe it's the Neosporin from their infection. That's what's coming with that flavor.

Chrissy:

God. You're gonna get disgusting.

Brandon:

Absolutely disgusting. This is the best one.

Paul:

It could be. It could be. That's probably it. It's the Neosporin.

Chrissy:

K. No more girl stuff. Wow. We're gonna talk about the love life of Brandon Coleman.

Brandon:

Oh. Woo hoo.

Paul:

Oh, you dirty fucking pirate fucker. Let's get fucked.

Chrissy:

What it oh, okay. If you're gonna find

Brandon:

the one If it's an innie or an Audi?

Chrissy:

No. If you're gonna find the one that you're gonna which has not happened yet Correct. What who is she? You can use even me even like a comparing her to like a celebrity, I guess.

Brandon:

I I like the mediocre of like a like a badass that's tattooed, but still has simple values in life that actually has life values because a lot of people have lost that. True. We don't have that these days.

Paul:

Smoke cigars.

Brandon:

Right? True. We don't we don't. Like, we literally don't. I've met so many people that try and claim that they do and then you hang out with them, They don't.

Brandon:

Yeah. Like, they'll run anybody into the ground fucking immediately and stuff like that.

Paul:

They say they say hang

Brandon:

out with But they say the opposite. Right? Dude, they

Paul:

they say the opposite.

Brandon:

They say something.

paul:

I feel

Brandon:

like don't want that.

Chrissy:

The preach it are the first ones that

Brandon:

correct. Yeah. They don't even have say right.

Paul:

You know what they They say the shit you wanna hear.

Chrissy:

Oh, I agree.

Paul:

Yeah. And then you're like

Brandon:

But they'll do the complete opposite as soon as

Paul:

they Exactly. Faster. Yeah. Fuck you. Yeah.

Paul:

Yeah. Running the other girls.

Chrissy:

Scruples. You're right. Scruples. You're right, buddy.

Paul:

Alright. About half Alright.

paul:

You need a you

Paul:

need truth

Chrissy:

and happiness. 100%.

Brandon:

Right. Dude, it yeah. Hold on. Open up. People aren't genuine anymore and actually, like, are

Paul:

really shotgun a beer with us.

Brandon:

People are fucking chameleons. Right?

Paul:

Get them

Brandon:

to shotgun

Paul:

a beer. Excuse me. Hey.

Brandon:

What's up, man? What's going on? Have you

Paul:

ever shotgun a beer? Yeah. You wanna do one right now? Yeah.

Chrissy:

Yes. He's got it dry. Yeah. Is.

Paul:

Well, it's it's only let's grab one out of your case. Let's go.

Chrissy:

Yeah. We're not giving you one.

Paul:

Well, we'll give him one. Give him one.

Chrissy:

I'm just kidding.

Brandon:

Give him a bear.

Chrissy:

Give him one. Two seconds.

Brandon:

What are we at?

Paul:

Rovers back there. You gotta do that in Saturdays. Oh, we gonna we both doing them? Oh, fuck. Yes, bud.

Paul:

Let's go.

Brandon:

Oh, absolutely. I don't see why you guys wanna You want one too? No. I'm good. I feel like you do.

Brandon:

Really Dude, I almost fucking up here.

Paul:

She was one of the first people I met. Right?

Brandon:

Yep. Just truly

Paul:

Great people. Fabulous people.

Chrissy:

Thank you.

Paul:

Treat you like family?

Brandon:

Much.

Paul:

This is how you do it right here.

Brandon:

Bring you a drink to that.

Paul:

Just 20 something bucks. Yeah. The best. And it in my beer.

Brandon:

Hell yeah.

paul:

Oh, that

Paul:

was so good. High

paul:

five. Sexy time.

Brandon:

Great success.

Chrissy:

Well, you made it on our podcast. How are you? It's

Brandon:

always good to see you.

Paul:

Oh, good to see

Brandon:

My sister is number three prostitute. No.

Paul:

I'm caskets. It's prostitute. Back

Chrissy:

to your love life since we were cut short on that.

Paul:

Oh, yeah. Prude ass bitch.

Chrissy:

Dating someone right now. Will you call her your girlfriend or is she just a friend with benefits

Paul:

right now? This is a fucking dicey situation. Don't fuck this up. We're figuring it out.

Brandon:

Yeah. No. No. You're the situation. Yeah.

Brandon:

Yeah. Well, not really because this is one those things that wasn't supposed to this you know, we went and had beers

Chrissy:

and Do like you have an agreement that neither one of you are

Paul:

seeing anybody else? The fuck has an agreement.

Brandon:

I'm gonna do the same like I expect a return. Like, yeah, I'm not gonna have an agreement. Yeah. The only or no. Yeah.

Brandon:

Yeah. Every girl ever

Chrissy:

On camera. Yeah.

Paul:

I mean, well, it's because

Chrissy:

I ask you all the time and you're like, I go, is she your girlfriend?

Brandon:

And

Chrissy:

you today was the

Brandon:

first yeah.

Paul:

I was just gonna say it's not an agreement. It's basically she's my girlfriend. Yeah.

Chrissy:

You kinda said that quiet. What? Say it to the camera. Brittany

Paul:

is my girlfriend.

Brandon:

Alright. It's Brittany, bitch.

Chrissy:

Britney, bitch.

Paul:

Yeah. Dude, she's

Chrissy:

Super cool. I know. Yeah. Yeah. Like, you've said that.

Chrissy:

I see she's friends with Bo's ex girlfriend, Missy.

Paul:

Yeah.

Chrissy:

Because when I I don't remember what I connection. Britney liked something and I didn't know it was your Britney. I wanted to see who this Britney was.

Paul:

Yeah.

Brandon:

So I

Chrissy:

clicked on her Facebook page

Paul:

and then Oh,

Chrissy:

I totally am.

Paul:

Yeah. Yeah. Detective. You're little pirate hungry.

Chrissy:

You think I'm bad? Jenna Engler, she will find out your fucking blood type.

Paul:

That's deep sea diver.

Chrissy:

FBI agent, I think.

Brandon:

Or is she like some backwood CIA agent? I

Chrissy:

don't know something about

Brandon:

Jenna get on this motherfucker.

Chrissy:

Swear to god.

Brandon:

Figure it out.

Chrissy:

Yeah. Will fucking know their whole life history.

Paul:

In thirty five seconds. Yep.

Chrissy:

Pretty much.

Paul:

You're welcome.

Chrissy:

So Brandon's got a girlfriend. What?

Brandon:

Oh. Oh.

Paul:

What? What?

Chrissy:

I wanna know.

Brandon:

There's no fish in

paul:

this.

Chrissy:

Have you ever

Paul:

We haven't said the g word yet.

Brandon:

In love

paul:

with someone.

Chrissy:

Like

Brandon:

Oh, god. Yeah. Yeah? Yeah.

Chrissy:

Like how many times?

Brandon:

A couple.

Chrissy:

A couple?

Brandon:

A couple. Yeah. I mean,

Chrissy:

because you've been with quite a few women.

Paul:

Naren Schmidt. Yep.

Chrissy:

We're not

Paul:

gonna mask

Chrissy:

your record

Brandon:

but Nope.

Paul:

20 person fool.

Chrissy:

Crazy crazy in love with someone but you still not to the point where you proposed.

Brandon:

Yeah. Well, I was almost there. I was almost there in two of them.

Chrissy:

I know.

Paul:

Yeah. Yeah. But then you learned all what fuck Yeah.

Brandon:

Well, the last one, yeah. That was

paul:

What's wrong with you?

Brandon:

I'm missing that. Yeah.

Paul:

He fucking knows what happens in marriage. Right?

Brandon:

Yeah. Right? Well, we all got fucking Yeah.

paul:

I I don't know.

Brandon:

I just

Chrissy:

Okay. Talk about tattoos.

Brandon:

I got one.

Chrissy:

Obviously, you love tattoos.

Paul:

You've only got like seven.

Chrissy:

Yeah.

Paul:

On this section

Chrissy:

of your tattoos mean something? Behind any of them or are they just decoration?

Brandon:

The Alice in Wonderland, like I've always been a big big fucking fan of Alice in Wonderland. Well, because like Alice to me, everybody has a fucking story of it. Right? Like to me, it was like, you know, she went out and just did the opposite of what society fucking Yeah. What I mean?

Brandon:

And I've always pretty much done the opposite of everybody's fucking time told me to do. You know what mean? Live your own life You

Chrissy:

don't listen.

Brandon:

Do what the fuck you want. You know what I mean? So like, that's kind of a cool story. This one's kind of like more of a I don't know, like a heaven and hell type deal, like angels and demons.

Chrissy:

Is this girl that you know?

Brandon:

Nope. That was just the tattooer snake crawling on

Chrissy:

Mike's tattoos?

Paul:

What is I've seen a

Brandon:

few of his tattoos.

Paul:

What does the rose represent?

Brandon:

It's like a burning rose. So it's like a burning rose, so then this was like a dying rose.

Paul:

So get this. Who's this?

Brandon:

That's like purgatory.

paul:

Oh.

Paul:

So my Okay. Yeah. My grandpa was like Black.

Brandon:

Yeah. Was burning.

Paul:

Huge gardener. Right? Fucking love roses. Huge garden roses. And I kinda want I know everyone does it, but I kinda want like a rose on my hand.

Paul:

Yeah.

Brandon:

I thought about that as well too for

Paul:

shave your arms.

Brandon:

I want summers. Okay. Only in the summer.

Paul:

Summers makes your fucking tattoos pop like

Brandon:

I spent I got

Paul:

thousands of dollars on these motherfuckers. Yeah. But honestly, found like for work

Brandon:

like because I don't I don't like cooler. Long sleeve and I work with fiberglass. Stay cooler. Yeah. The fiberglass doesn't like

Paul:

It doesn't stick

Brandon:

to you. It doesn't stick to It's easier to wash right Yeah. Yeah. Otherwise, it's stuck

Paul:

to get your it.

Brandon:

Like literally I notice it because you notice like little welts and shit in your arm from fiberglass. Yeah. When I fucking shave my arms in the summertime Yeah. Don't not nearly as much. It washes off way easier.

Brandon:

It doesn't get stuck to your hairs and all that because it'll stick to everything because it's fiberglass. Yeah. It's fucking everywhere. Right? Yeah.

Brandon:

But No. And that's what this leg tattoo is all for my grandparents because they were big birds fans and stuff like that.

Paul:

Yeah. That's Sounds like birds.

Brandon:

So that's like bird watch. Just like the bird watch. Right? But then that's like obviously into birds That was obviously Sturgis. Right?

Brandon:

Yeah. Then that was Sturgis like a year or two later.

Paul:

Titties in here.

Brandon:

Ass cheeks in the bucket. Oh yeah.

Chrissy:

Our camera can't see any of it.

Brandon:

Yep. Then that was

Paul:

These were done on both

Brandon:

the Stand same

Paul:

up on your fucking chair.

Brandon:

I don't know if I can.

Chrissy:

Should I just like move a camera please?

Paul:

Let's just stand on it.

Brandon:

It's okay.

Paul:

You're prude ass bitch. You prude ass bitch. Don't be a pussy. There

Chrissy:

you go.

Paul:

There you go. Alright. Look at this. Ass cheeks and elbows.

Chrissy:

Yep.

Paul:

That's a pro. Don't cry alone. Yeah. I'll get the ass you money.

Brandon:

So then

Chrissy:

What's this?

Paul:

This is Sturgis. That's

Brandon:

Bob Ross.

Chrissy:

Oh my god. It is.

Brandon:

Says I says I go hard in the motherfucking paints.

Chrissy:

Oh my god.

Brandon:

It happened between two guys. I used to sit and paint and watch like two Two d and paint I did as a kid. When you

Paul:

were stoned as fuck or what?

Brandon:

No. I was a kid.

Chrissy:

Yeah. Liked watching watching him?

Brandon:

Oh, absolutely.

Chrissy:

I feel

Paul:

like you were stoned as fuck.

Brandon:

I was really artistic as a kid. I just started this one.

paul:

What do

Paul:

you how do you how do you get

Brandon:

like It was like a one pass.

Paul:

How do you get like these random fucking chicken with a gun?

Brandon:

These are the gumball machine tattoos. Oh, so is that Alright.

Paul:

So you get what you get?

Brandon:

Yeah. You

Paul:

You get what you get. That's what

Brandon:

these are.

paul:

Outfit and you gotta

Brandon:

This just get was This is in Florida. Fuck. This is Tennessee. This is Alright. This is in this is in California.

Brandon:

This one wins. Me and my

Paul:

sister picked each other's tattoos.

Brandon:

It's a chicken.

Paul:

Yeah. With, like, a fucking

paul:

It's Yeah. I she fucking had a

Paul:

Me and my sister picked each other's tattoos,

Brandon:

and we couldn't see them until we're sitting down and getting tattooed. This is what

Paul:

she picked. Did she

Brandon:

what did you get She has like a banana with like stripping the banana peel off and it's like blurred out right here. Yeah. So that's a ghost dick. Ghost with a

Chrissy:

boner. That

Brandon:

That was in that was in Florida this fucking February with my friends. What is this? My buddy got a leg lamp tattooed on us. Pillsbury Doughboys. I don't know.

Brandon:

That was fucking some baby face. Me and all my friends got tattooed out in Tennessee. That was a gumball machine out there.

paul:

Are the best.

Brandon:

That was in Daytona, the bike week.

Chrissy:

What is this?

Brandon:

A woman? Yeah. It's a woman with a pirate hat.

Paul:

With a pirate hat.

Brandon:

Yeah. Right.

Paul:

There's a

Brandon:

curls of her hair. Yep. That's because the the old school traditional.

Chrissy:

She's got a lot of blush on.

Paul:

Yeah. She likes to party. Yeah.

Chrissy:

She likes to party.

Paul:

What happened?

Brandon:

What's that?

Paul:

Some chick suck you off

Brandon:

last week.

Paul:

She just get a little lower or just

Brandon:

Yeah. Definitely a muffler burn. Yeah. I

Chrissy:

love that all too

Brandon:

well. The worst part was, the next day

Paul:

I was like, that's a mini bike run. Dude, I tried to make it this year.

Brandon:

Yeah. I don't think I woke up until like 02:00 in the afternoon. Me and my buddy had it lined up like we had a guy with two mini bikes fucking that we're gonna go pick up Yeah. Go on the run and we slept until like 2PM.

Paul:

I'm gonna fucking find you and pick

Brandon:

you in

Paul:

the wanna build one. Like, dude, I've

Brandon:

been seeing all sorts of fucking crazy ones and it's like, I wanna I wanna put like a fucking even a one twenty five dirt bike engine or something.

Paul:

Dude, a k LXOrAKX300. Dude,

Brandon:

that's Let's put A ZX6 in.

Paul:

I've seen Yeah. Right? I've seen some I

Brandon:

have one.

Paul:

I You Oh, motherfucker. Well, dude. Really?

Brandon:

So, I have an extra Indian Challenger. God. Right. I feel like I got the other broken good. Broken other the other

Paul:

broken collarbone. I mean, hot. I

Brandon:

got the other Challenger engine. I wanna build a fucking Indian Challenger, but I wanna build a bobber. I wanna build a steel frame with the new Indian Challenger engine because it's a 136 horse now. That in a bobber frame.

Paul:

Dude, I'm

Brandon:

a 100 that might I do a 160 with a passenger on.

Paul:

Dude, I can't even fucking gets their fucking quilt. I could no. On a mini bike. Even a fucking bobber, dude. A that's that's our that's Yamaha r one fucking motor fucking power.

Brandon:

Under dude, I know I got

Paul:

That's that's ten seconds in a quarter mile.

Brandon:

Oh, yeah, dude.

Paul:

That's get fucked and you can't breathe when I get to the finish line.

Brandon:

Love that shit.

paul:

Yeah. Me too. And it

Paul:

gets your fucking pucker hard as 10 wood.

Brandon:

Let's see. I know I got a fucking here.

paul:

10. Still got one.

Brandon:

Oh, dude. Hard times. Every Right?

Paul:

Alright. So, right. My brother works for Polaris. He got my dad an Indian challenger. My dad's like, hey, come over and ride this bike.

Paul:

I wanna see what you think.

Brandon:

Amazon, best bike ever built.

Paul:

Right? A 100 fucking percent.

Brandon:

I I have a brand new Harley ST. Right? I have a I have a '20 three

Paul:

Well,

Brandon:

Road I guess Glide.

Paul:

I I I kinda wanna And I got ride a 2020 Challenger. And you've rode both. Right?

Brandon:

And you ride them if you ride them simultaneously, you're gonna come back and tell me I have a fucking Indian better bike. Really? If you don't, you don't know how to fucking ride. Alright. Dude, there isn't there isn't a single person that hasn't done this.

Brandon:

Even women that ride on it, they're like, you know, like, oh, my husband has a fucking road glide or Yeah. Whatever. So I'm They ride on

Paul:

it and

Brandon:

they're like, oh my god. This is amazing.

Chrissy:

Because it's smoother or

Brandon:

It's smoother. The seat is actually the factory seat's way better. Yeah. But smoother ride Dude, they're They got Brembo brake. I would have to stick 10 to $12,000 suck.

Brandon:

My Harley to make it with my Indian factory. Today. We Stock. Brembo brakes, we're already coming with Fox shocks, upgraded fucking suspension and everything and 20 horse out of the box. Right?

Brandon:

Just an ECU flash maybe top out from one seventeen to a 157. Just an ECU flash. Like so it literally like it they are literally the hands down the best bike. Yeah. So I fucking go with my friends that got fucking $89 into their fucking engines and I'm spanking them and I'm like dude Really?

Brandon:

That's gotta suck. Dude, now It would be so I'm building a new one. I'm adding 35 horse to it. So I'm gonna be around a 170 horse. You.

Brandon:

But I wanna do a speed kit on it. I wanna build a 200 mile an hour bag. Like, that's my I wanna I'm gonna put it to make up for the extra horsepower, I'm gonna drop the sprocket and I I literally I want a 200 horsepower

Paul:

Dude, I want a

Brandon:

200 mile an hour bagger on the street.

Paul:

Just just Honestly also get this.

Brandon:

And I'm gonna open that motherfucker up.

Paul:

Like I said, my my brother works for Indian. Right? Polaris, whatever Indian.

Chrissy:

Gabe Is that the same?

Brandon:

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Owns

Paul:

Indian or body

Brandon:

to date though, Indian is the most American made motorcycle you can buy. Oh, 100

Chrissy:

Certainly isn't Harley.

Brandon:

Oh, they they lost out in like 2006 when fucking Warren Buffett sent everything overseas.

Paul:

They're losing

Brandon:

because Warren Buffett donated them like $600,000,000 total so far. Well, actually, I think it's close to a billion dollars now. Yeah. Right now Oh.

Paul:

It's real real good.

Brandon:

To keep them going. But the thing is like we almost lost Harley years ago and you need these. You need competition. Yeah. Harley would not be what Harley is today if Indian motorcycle Right.

Brandon:

Be doing what they're doing. Well, if Harley is finally producing performance That's

Paul:

baggers. Of Polaris.

Brandon:

Got Well, they made no changes though for years and years. Well, look at You can change parts for twenty five years.

Paul:

That's why Polaris dropped victory. Well, they're competing

Brandon:

against themselves. Exactly. Right. It's like They bought a brand name in order to put the

Paul:

Polaris, money you got Vic or you got Indian, you got Polaris or Victory, and you're competing against each other. It's like it's a lose lose. It's like, fuck that. Drop one, and now you're gonna compete Indian and fucking Harley.

Brandon:

Right. Yeah. The the bike the motor that's in my bike was a victory engine. They Yeah. Rebadged it to Indian.

Brandon:

Yep. Yeah. My cousin was riding that bike engine fucking five years before it was released.

Paul:

Oh, dude. Right?

Chrissy:

So basically, the it's same motor but just

Brandon:

Correct. Well, yeah. But it a was a new production

Paul:

Tom is

Brandon:

a one zero seven cubic. So keep that

Chrissy:

in mind.

Brandon:

Right. Yep. So I'm racing one thirty ones and I'm smoking them. Wow.

Paul:

Isn't that insane? Yeah.

Brandon:

But how

Chrissy:

many speeds

Paul:

Six Six

Chrissy:

Six speed?

Paul:

Right. So get So

Brandon:

the the the one thing is though,

Paul:

so this

Brandon:

is what Harley alright. So Harley's got the fucking brand on the sound. Right? Yep. So that's that's where Harley loses horsepower.

Brandon:

The potato potato potato. They have the sound patented.

Chrissy:

Yeah.

Brandon:

But so in order to create that sound, have to have an unbalanced crankshaft. Right? So an unbalanced crankshaft, you can only produce so much motor power before that grades. Yeah. Like you can only do so much to it.

Brandon:

And that's why like people that are building big horsepower Harleys are taking all their crankshafts and replacing it and rebuilding it. And I have literally like with the what do I have into that for like actual performance parts probably $2,200. Right? And I have raced by guys that I got $75,000 in their fucking Harleys and I'm beating them or standing side by

Paul:

And that's

Chrissy:

it's I think a lot of it has to do with the rider though.

Paul:

They're not there

Brandon:

is. There is.

Paul:

There is.

Brandon:

Yeah. But there's still like when it's just speed and flat ground.

Chrissy:

Right.

Paul:

But it's it's like back opening up and see

Brandon:

who's faster.

Paul:

It's like back in the day when when you had that one thirty five and I was racing with my fucking r one and I'm like, what the fuck? How are you keeping up this fucking hard with an r one? I'm like, this shouldn't fucking happen. Yeah. But it just it all depends on the builder.

Brandon:

It all

Paul:

depends on the fucking

Chrissy:

My fucking My 2,000 robot is fucking crazy

Paul:

fast. Yeah.

Brandon:

Crazy crazy.

Chrissy:

And it's an old bike.

Paul:

Yeah. Right.

Chrissy:

I mean, it's probably not even that fast considering Well,

Paul:

today this is is

Chrissy:

I mean, it's scary fast. Yeah. That blue one in the back is the same thing.

Brandon:

I takes a lot to bigger motor. Yeah. Like, there's I don't know where gonna be.

Chrissy:

You need to just buy another bike.

Paul:

My problem is though, like, it's like it's I look online and I'm like, I really wanna rock it so fucking

Brandon:

Dude, like, I want to but I don't.

Paul:

Right? I want a BMW m 1,000 r r.

Brandon:

God, those things are sick as fuck. Right? So like I used to stunt ride with like Yeah. He's the rider.

Chrissy:

Do you like Ducati's or those

Brandon:

I like everything.

Paul:

I would yeah. Would take one of them too.

Brandon:

They're very pristine, like, hand built bike, like, they're very

Paul:

expensive as fuck.

Brandon:

They are. But there's reasons for

Paul:

expensive as

Chrissy:

Where are they made?

Paul:

Those are Italian. Yep. Yep. Yep.

Brandon:

They're bikes.

Chrissy:

He likes the Ducati's.

Brandon:

Well, they're yeah. They're fun as fuck.

Paul:

They have to drive a

Brandon:

of shit.

Chrissy:

I have never I've ridden

Brandon:

The nine nine nine.

Chrissy:

Every type of bike there is except a crash rocket.

paul:

You you I

Paul:

would like would need to

Brandon:

do a sidecar for my dog. Like, that's my next thing.

Paul:

Get a get a fucking rocket and let her fucking ride with

Brandon:

I bought a I bought another backrest and to just to cut it off and and build like a box from the Have you ever seen Knucklehead? He's out in Tennessee. So it's a army guy. He lost his eyeball Oh. In war and like he's got a fucking blue nose pit.

Brandon:

Okay. He's got a box in the back of his Panamera and he's always all over trying to raise money for veterans and stuff like that. And Noctis, he's he has a short leash on him, but he gets free roam back in there. Sure. And he's got goggles and he's just smiling like Yeah.

Brandon:

The coolest fucking thing. Like, I love that shit. Yeah. And I want I want my dog to ride a motorcycle. Like, that's like a dream.

Brandon:

He's scared of his own farts. Like Is he a chicken? He is. Like, literally, I've watched him jump when he's farted. Like, I mean, I put a bag in the garbage can and he runs away.

Chrissy:

Scared because it stinks.

Brandon:

No. He scared. No. Like, he's scared of everything. Is it really?

Brandon:

Sweeping the floor, like, even a vacuum, he doesn't bark at it. He runs away from it. Right? Oh, really? He always has been that way since day one.

Chrissy:

Now I have Gambino, Wayne,

Brandon:

afraid. Yeah. Nothing. That fucking

Chrissy:

dog is he sees something.

Paul:

I had a bulldog that would just, like, try to fucking, launch onto the vacuum cleaner. Yeah?

Chrissy:

Nike. I vacuum my dogs. Yeah. Yeah. I vacuum their fur.

Brandon:

Not lefty. Fuck no. Who do you need to

Paul:

I busted that all one time at the Chuck and Don's

Brandon:

and he's like

Paul:

It's like a fucking Spock fucking It looks like Spock Will that That's that's how your fingers go into it. Like a Spock fucking oven mitt and then you just you just rub it back and forth and it fucking picks up all the dog fur in like seconds and makes it into a little burrito. A burrito? Yeah. Dude, it's crazy.

Paul:

I don't even know why it showed up on my news feed. I don't have fucking dogs or nothing. Oh, shit.

Chrissy:

Okay. Real quick here.

Paul:

Real quick, like

Chrissy:

Real quick. Have you ever dated anyone that tried to change you? And how long did that last?

Brandon:

If it happened. Five I

Chrissy:

don't want you this way, you need to be this way. I I like a lot of women do

Paul:

that. I don't

Brandon:

even know that. I can guarantee you if they change you, it's gonna last well. So I doesn't. So like Yeah. In in my world like, alright, I get it.

Brandon:

Like, everyone wants to try and change somebody, but in my world like, I feel like if you're not meeting in the middle Right. If you're not both changing, it's not there. Right. I agree. You you have to be in the middle.

Brandon:

Like, you really truly do. Like, you can't just try and change somebody without changing yourself.

paul:

Do it

Brandon:

all all They do. The time. They do. I've been in

Chrissy:

the these situations. Bad boy, but yet they don't want that You want to be the bad boy Yeah. Once they're with them.

Paul:

Once once it comes down to brass text, they're like, oh, fuck that.

Brandon:

Yeah. They ain't dealing with that.

Paul:

I want the image, but I don't want the fucking reality. Right.

Brandon:

Right. And the thing is like, I'm I look like it, but like I'm a really good fucking person. Yeah. Same with me. Sometimes like I'm not the bad boy they really want me to be because like I'm not gonna do dirty shit to fucking people.

Brandon:

Like I can't do that. I have a conscience like I give people, you know. Right. People's names in the dirt. Don't

Chrissy:

do Jim, was, he like, the epitome of bad boys. But definitely a good person and definitely he's like But

Brandon:

a good side.

Chrissy:

He's the one that's gonna walk the old lady across the street.

Paul:

Right. Know, and

Brandon:

hold the door open

Chrissy:

like you said,

Brandon:

and all of that.

Chrissy:

Yep. But yet, he would definitely, like

Paul:

Fucking break a motherfucker's face.

Chrissy:

Break a fucking skull open too, you know?

Paul:

Curb stomp a motherfucker. I don't I don't feel like I'm mad.

Brandon:

No. I what I can't Get married. Oh, eventually. Yeah.

Chrissy:

You

Brandon:

don't want to meet your fucking kids for a while.

Paul:

That's what I have been

Brandon:

so Dude, I've had girls like It's so fast. Really like use their kids against me. It's like Yeah. I'm not even your kid's fucking Yeah. Dad but obviously I've been a good enough person for you to use that

Paul:

against me. Right? You're gonna learn something something today. Today.

Brandon:

Know what I mean? Like it's like, I give a fuck. The

paul:

problem. Have

Chrissy:

you're probably gonna like this, Colleen. Fucker. Box.

Brandon:

Does it got alcohol in it? Weird.

Paul:

I like it.

Chrissy:

Lemon shandy and a raspberry lemon

Brandon:

dude. That lemon fucking shiner.

Paul:

What? Dude, this already sounds like some gangster bullshit.

Chrissy:

Shiner lemonade shandy.

Brandon:

It did come in a brown bag.

Paul:

Is this the Oh, this looks dirty as piss.

Chrissy:

It kinda looks like urine.

Paul:

Yeah. Like, I'd pissed in this.

Brandon:

This looks like an old man's piss Yeah. Bottle.

Paul:

I'm sorry.

Chrissy:

Smells like summer candy.

Paul:

It smells Which one

Brandon:

is this?

Paul:

Somebody's got

Brandon:

a liver problem. No.

Chrissy:

No. This smells raspberry. I don't know. We'll try it.

Brandon:

Are we drinking dirty piss water?

Chrissy:

Okay. So this the lemonade one. This has

Brandon:

Very slight flavor. Yeah. It's good though. It's smooth.

Chrissy:

I like it. I like

Brandon:

super carbonation like It's

Chrissy:

It's 4.2%.

Paul:

It's like water with a tinge of fucking

Chrissy:

agave in it.

Paul:

Oh, I love that.

Brandon:

Oh, yeah.

Chrissy:

And it's made with Spezl Brewery's very own lemon So it's made with an actual lemonade.

Paul:

It's That's

Chrissy:

really good. I like it. Yeah. 12 pack runs for $17.29. Oh, my God.

Chrissy:

I give this a 10. Yeah. For a beer? For me?

Paul:

That's a beer?

Chrissy:

That's a beer.

Paul:

It's not a

Chrissy:

It's seasonal.

Brandon:

Shandy. Or two? Okay. Actually, I I would probably buy that. Oh, yeah.

Brandon:

Person stuff and I don't drink I would honestly, I would buy that. Yeah. Now I know.

Chrissy:

I like it.

Paul:

The more you know. Shannon,

Chrissy:

is this a brownie pack? Yes. And it's just these two flavors or is there another one?

Paul:

Tell me there's a peach in there.

Chrissy:

Mango. Okay. Oh. Either mango or peach.

Paul:

Yeah. Right? That's

Chrissy:

Every fucking one of them.

Paul:

Yeah. Right?

Chrissy:

Which I'm not into.

Paul:

Not the biggest

Chrissy:

is the raspberry

Paul:

Biggest fan of mango? Yep.

Brandon:

Are you drinking? Yep. I was just looking at the

Paul:

I like this one. The other one's better.

Chrissy:

Oh yeah. The other one's better.

Paul:

Yeah. A 100%.

Chrissy:

This one is kinda tart.

Brandon:

Mhmm. That tastes nothing like what it says.

Paul:

Yeah. Right? Let me see that. Is it is it what is it?

Chrissy:

The lemonade is way better than the raspberry, which shocks me. Because normally I'm on

Brandon:

raspberry Yeah. I would have thought that was gonna be better. It was like the girl that said she's gonna be a

Chrissy:

great Oh, it's fucking Really close?

Paul:

Close.

Chrissy:

You might have to stock up on

Paul:

that seasonal.

Brandon:

I bet you yeah. Really

Paul:

always do that season they always do seasonal shit to this

Chrissy:

I know.

Paul:

Shit that is so good.

Chrissy:

But, sometimes the seasonal stuff of itself I

Brandon:

think that's why they do it though. Because they get the big inverse on it. Because you're gonna buy it because it's only one.

Paul:

Right? Good fuck. It's just one

Brandon:

at a time.

paul:

Goodbye. And, I

Chrissy:

feel like politics industry is the same way.

Brandon:

Fuck. Yeah. And, it's like

Chrissy:

Get something that you really like. Yeah.

Brandon:

Just the tip and walks away. Yeah. Yep.

Paul:

We're gonna give you only the tip and then you can fuck off. Yeah. Fucking cocksuckers.

Chrissy:

Alright. Oh.

Paul:

What is that? Bud Light? Make fucking Bud Light lemon?

Brandon:

I'm gonna

paul:

give you a

Brandon:

head until you get hard.

paul:

Yeah. Right?

Chrissy:

And it's done.

Paul:

Just just in just in the tip.

Brandon:

I've done that. Up too much. Here. Done. See, I told your dick.

Brandon:

Mouth's getting full.

Chrissy:

Alright. I'm done.

Brandon:

Yeah. I've had

Paul:

enough. I'm I'm bored with this game. Get fucked. So This place is a fucking prison.

Chrissy:

In in snooping on your background. He's so stupid.

Paul:

I'm playing a bullshit.

Chrissy:

He's an idiot.

Paul:

You don't even know.

Brandon:

I can't.

Paul:

The galaxy of this

paul:

sucks camel dicks.

Chrissy:

At that. She can't even stand up.

Paul:

She don't have to. She's gotta push red buttons.

Chrissy:

I can't

paul:

rave. I can't rave.

Chrissy:

Loyalty seems like it means everything to you.

Brandon:

It does. It's me

Chrissy:

as well. Yeah. And I know Paul is

Paul:

the same one. Fuck loyalty. Yeah. Oh yeah. Whatever.

Paul:

Right.

Chrissy:

Which is kind of why I have a huge relationship with my dogs. Like, my dogs are like my best

Brandon:

Oh, yeah.

Chrissy:

Because I know they're never gonna fuck me

Brandon:

or There's times where I just only wanna be around my dog yeah.

Chrissy:

And that's how I

Paul:

feel like I am I want a dog, but I just don't live in

Brandon:

a life.

Chrissy:

How is your boy doing? How is left doing?

Brandon:

Left, he's doing very well.

Chrissy:

Good. So he got out of the poison

Brandon:

Yeah. Yeah. He got out of that. I feel like he's kind of having like some after effects of it.

Paul:

Is he make is he making like a comeback or what?

Brandon:

Issues like I don't feel like his immune system is

Chrissy:

either way.

Brandon:

Stuff like that. Like, I I just feel like it he's lacking that a little bit now Yeah. Because he seems to be getting sicker easier and stuff like that. But he pulled through and

Chrissy:

like Yeah. Yeah. How long was he like down?

Brandon:

Weeks. Three weeks.

Chrissy:

Yeah.

Brandon:

Yeah. I

Chrissy:

And you know kinda know the story.

Brandon:

His ex

Chrissy:

poisoned him

Brandon:

Yeah. Or whatever. Allegedly. Oh, allegedly.

Chrissy:

Well, no. We're gonna say she

Brandon:

came with

Paul:

poison. Yeah.

Brandon:

It's been like Dude. Right?

Paul:

My daughter Shoot a motherfucker right in the face.

Chrissy:

And I know

Brandon:

It was you. Yeah. Yeah. It was tough.

Chrissy:

But like, I wanna fucking beat the fucking I wanna

Brandon:

pull my Breaks off

Paul:

the face.

Brandon:

Hard believer in karma and karma always goes back and now like everything that I know like But it's like you don't It's coming back.

Paul:

Yeah. Although I wanna be karma.

Brandon:

Yeah. Like I wanna be karma. Right? Like

Paul:

It's hard to wait

Chrissy:

that long. Get it quick.

Paul:

We're

Brandon:

right. Yeah. We're done right But like, it's You're like, okay. Can you

Paul:

speed this shit up and fucking put him on the fast track?

Brandon:

It's happening and like, it's it's happening. Yeah. Right? No. It's happening.

Brandon:

Oh, It's a good thing and like, my dog's happy. I brought like, I brought him to Tennessee.

Paul:

Did a

paul:

two week

Brandon:

trip out there. It was beautiful. We had a lot of fun. Gaining weight back and beggars. I had a windstorm out there and it blew my bike over the opposite way into a fucking tree and smashed in the tank.

Brandon:

Why that's why fucking Yeah. I was slipping like, I rented this giant ass house for myself because I got it very I was on the top of the mountain. Very top. You could do a full three sixty fucking the roof like going like this while I'm laying in the bed. I'm like, I'm gonna go downstairs now.

Brandon:

I had a three level house. I had six bedrooms. Shit. I slept in every bedroom.

Chrissy:

I bet you didn't just

Brandon:

sleep in every bedroom. I No. I did. I tried alright. There there was I had offers.

Brandon:

Every night I went out like there was a bartender interested and I was just like, it's me and my dog.

Paul:

You're like, I'll work out. Yeah.

Brandon:

Right? Dude, like, was just I I wanted to be out there as for as a personal thing. Was me and my dog hanging out and Love it. We had Dude, we had a great time. Like, loved it.

Brandon:

Was a good time with me and him. Like, we travel

Chrissy:

love the photo.

Brandon:

Hotel rooms, like, we're doing hotel rooms with each other. I was renting two bedroom hotel rooms. So, for me and him to have his own room and stuff like

Chrissy:

that. What?

Brandon:

Yeah. My

Chrissy:

daughter wouldn't even go in their own room. They're like

Brandon:

Oh, they're not coming in He he doesn't like to so much like he's just

Paul:

Eats its own fucking private meals. Yeah. You're like, how is that thing not like its own bedroom? Yeah.

Chrissy:

Yeah. Did you see my Snapchat of how I woke up?

Paul:

No. Just fuck Dogs all over.

Brandon:

Yeah. Oh, yeah. I will

Chrissy:

tell you the honest to God's truth. I sleep like a baby. Like that. With that pressure of those dogs and the weight of them

Brandon:

on them. I do sometimes.

Chrissy:

My anxiety just releases and goes away.

Brandon:

My feet likes to crawl up next to me like this here and then just go, eject those motherfucker. And he's so strong and like he pushes me over I the

Chrissy:

know to be on the inside Yeah.

Brandon:

Or the

Paul:

wall is. Like, I have

Brandon:

to get settled in the bed like I shut the door Yeah. Just so like the snot Next

Paul:

to the bed And I

Brandon:

get ready and I gotta be moved over him like, lefty and he just threw

Paul:

the fucking door on the

Brandon:

bed all over and he's just in my face and everything and slapping next me. He's like right side ever. Poof. Fuck yeah, then. Ejecto Cito, motherfucker.

Chrissy:

Alright. We need you to drink eight. This? It's been here for a long time, you guys.

Brandon:

This Good times don't come in short times.

Chrissy:

I love it. It's gonna be a four parter.

Paul:

Looks delicious.

Chrissy:

This fries, like, I don't So this is called a tropical peach cream. It has peach schnapps

Paul:

So you're

Chrissy:

saying Malibu I'm gonna

Brandon:

let you

Chrissy:

vanilla vodka, pineapple juice, and half and half. Right? I did not put the half and half in there because I didn't want any of Polly's sperm jokes this time. I

Paul:

was gonna say But

Chrissy:

can put half and half on your hand.

Brandon:

There doesn't look like any half and half No.

Paul:

Just not.

Brandon:

No. Just not.

Chrissy:

There's so much alcohol

Brandon:

in there.

Paul:

I was just gonna say, I feel like it would be better. I feel like it'd be better without the half and half. Honestly.

Chrissy:

It's good though.

Paul:

It is fucking delicious.

Brandon:

Okay. That's pretty fucking good.

Paul:

This is like a fucking

Brandon:

I feel like I'm in Mexico.

Paul:

Yeah. And you ain't coming back.

Brandon:

Nobody's trying to sell me a watch yet. So we're good.

Chrissy:

What's something that people would be shocked to know about you?

Brandon:

Oh. Probably like, those like super artistic in school. Artistic? Yeah. Not autistic.

Brandon:

Oh, that's cool. Maybe? That's that's what was saying. Maybe? Autistic or odd Artistic.

Brandon:

Yeah. That that seems to blow people's minds whenever that comes up. I'd love

Chrissy:

to see some of your

Brandon:

So I actually like so it was really cool. So I had the same art teacher as my mom, which like he yeah. He was awesome. Like mister Halverson. He was a good fucking dude.

Brandon:

Like he saved me through a whole lot of shit. I was actually like drunk in school one day because if you're buying a bottle of vodka, remember I told you that earlier?

Paul:

Jesus. And he put me in

Chrissy:

a school?

Brandon:

He put me in a black room because I came there in the morning and I had like three classes with him. He's like, get over there. What's the black room? Well, for the yeah. Okay.

Paul:

Put me in there and

Brandon:

he wakes me up at noon with a bar pizza. What? He's

Chrissy:

What like school do you go to?

Paul:

The awesome one. The good one.

Brandon:

Yeah. Right? The one that doesn't give fucks.

Chrissy:

You went to Princeton. Did you go to Princeton your whole life?

Brandon:

Fuck. We had a teacher that would give us an envelope if

Paul:

we Six were months I was in Eden Prairie. Eden Prairie? Yeah. Why?

Brandon:

Big ass school.

Paul:

I know it was.

Brandon:

I couldn't do that. I graduated No.

Paul:

Sixth grade.

Chrissy:

Oh. So in the middle

Paul:

Yeah. My old man transition. It was, dude. It was fucking

Chrissy:

For six months?

Paul:

Literally, yeah. About six months. It was brutal. Weird. Fuck.

Brandon:

Going from a tiny ass school to a big ass I I wasn't

Paul:

at all. Well, I went from a school that had like one lunch line and you got what you got to a fucking school and they're like, alright, do you want fucking pizza every

Chrissy:

only six months.

Paul:

Because that's about as long as my mom fucking dealt with the shit down there. Oh, really? And she's like, yeah, fuck this. We're Yeah. Going Yeah.

Chrissy:

Okay.

Paul:

But, yeah. It's like knew that. Yeah. In Prairie, it's like that that lunch line, it's like they had a McDonald's line, they had a fucking pizza line, and then they had whatever was that day's lunch. I'm just like I

Chrissy:

went to Cambridge my whole, like, from kindergarten to

Brandon:

Yeah. Royalton was like, yeah. Yeah. We had k through six and then seven through 12. And we knew everybody.

Chrissy:

So Hill City, Kindergartners are in with seniors.

Brandon:

You're the Hill City?

Chrissy:

One no. No. No.

Paul:

I didn't. The whole fucking school?

Chrissy:

The whole thing. That

Paul:

sounds about right though because that place is so

Chrissy:

like in their graduating class, let's just say last

Paul:

year 48

Brandon:

people? 25.

Paul:

Yeah. That sounds about right. Yeah.

Brandon:

Yeah. We should've had 50, but like eight were pregnant. Oh. It was like 42.

Paul:

So everyone was ours was like a 100 and something.

Brandon:

Yeah. That's Fuck, dude. I just couldn't imagine that. Have

Chrissy:

you ever woken up somewhere and had no idea how you got there?

Paul:

Oh. Kind of already

Brandon:

was just gonna say, I don't even know your real but

Paul:

I'm gonna I'm gonna say

Chrissy:

Which year? Which day?

Paul:

Which Yeah.

Brandon:

Yeah. A lot.

Chrissy:

What's one thing on your bucket list you haven't done yet?

Brandon:

Travel overseas. Okay. Yeah. I have a huge I wanna travel like Switzerland, Germany like yeah. Everything I'd like Actually, would like

Chrissy:

Japan.

Brandon:

I would Yeah. Probably more Japan than China. Yeah. Like I really like like sushi and stuff like that there.

Paul:

Oh, yeah. Like, I'm a

Brandon:

big into that. Like, I'll eat fucking

Chrissy:

They are so invasive.

Brandon:

Eat anything but an onion. Yeah. Actually, I ate an onion last night and my friend's supposed to get a blowjob for it. So you

Chrissy:

What?

Brandon:

Yeah.

Chrissy:

Okay.

Brandon:

I was a bet with his wife. Was Did like you

Paul:

get it? Well, he

Brandon:

it's either he a blowjob. She gets me $200.

Paul:

Oh. You're like, motherfucker. I want proof.

Brandon:

He better better be getting the gak gak

Paul:

right now. You know what I mean?

Brandon:

Let's see this video. Alright. I wanna see the video. Yeah. Alright.

Chrissy:

Last question. If your life was a movie, what would it be called?

Brandon:

Oh, fuck.

Paul:

Get fucked up and do fucked up shit.

Brandon:

Yeah. Forgot what I did. I never

Paul:

knew something.

Brandon:

Story. Brandon Wannerland.

Chrissy:

Fast and the Furious.

Brandon:

Lately, John Wick.

Paul:

The never ending story

Brandon:

about fucked up my dog. Fucked up and find out don't know. Like, literally, I don't I don't know. Like, there there's a lot of titles. Like, I've never I've always just kind of done my

Chrissy:

own First thing I thought it was Fast and Furious, I guess.

Brandon:

Yeah. Possibly.

Chrissy:

So popped into my head but

Brandon:

Right. Well, I'd say Biker Boys but that was a stupid fucking movie.

Paul:

Oh, god. That Party damn So

Brandon:

yeah. They're redoing it. Yes.

Paul:

Are they I don't

Brandon:

know how I feel about it. They're I hope it's good. Jason Momoa. Yeah. And Tom Hardy.

Brandon:

Right?

Chrissy:

I don't even know who that is.

Brandon:

Tom Hardy. Well, a lot people say I looked like Tom Hardy, so that's

Chrissy:

why Really?

Brandon:

Tom Hardy? Well, lately I've been getting this dude that's on the

Chrissy:

What are starring?

Brandon:

The zombie zombie fucking movies. What's that? Dude plays some pretty good roles, but he's seems like a good dude. I don't fucking know.

Chrissy:

So what do you guys think of this? 10? Nine, eight, seven? No. I give it like a eight.

Brandon:

I yeah. I give that a seven, eight. It's got that like fakeness coconut taste to it.

Chrissy:

You think Malibu? Yeah.

Brandon:

Yeah. You know what I mean? Once you've had like real coconut, I feel like

Paul:

That's true.

Brandon:

It's like you're gonna be It changes everything.

Paul:

You know

Brandon:

what I mean? That's like when you have a really good fucking steak somewhere and then you like have shit steak but

Paul:

you can't

Brandon:

why like I have a hard time ordering steak at most places because I cook a bomb ass steak.

Chrissy:

Do you? My son

Brandon:

I love cooking. Yeah. I love I not

Paul:

order a steak fucking Nord. The only place I'll order a steak is eight zero one Chop in Des Moines, Manning Saint Paul Grill

Brandon:

Porterhouse. Porterhouse on that list. If you haven't been there.

Paul:

And if I'm drunk, I'll

Brandon:

do Pittsburgh Blue. Yeah. Then go eat somewhere else afterwards.

Paul:

Yeah. And that then that's what I'm saying.

Brandon:

That's why don't like Pittsburgh.

Paul:

That's why I'm

Chrissy:

saying I like it.

Brandon:

Dude, I'm I'm telling you. If you guys haven't been to Porterhouse, go to fucking Porterhouse.

Paul:

Where is that?

Brandon:

I was blown away So by there's one off of was

Paul:

it Where? Yeah.

Brandon:

Oh. Ruth. The one there and there's one in Lakeville.

Paul:

You done the Ruth Chris?

Brandon:

Ruth Chris is very good too. It is good, but overrated.

Chrissy:

What's the one I like?

Brandon:

I'm telling

Paul:

you a 100%.

Brandon:

Porterhouse for some reason sticks with me because like they were super fucking Grill. Apple Grill. Yeah. Capital Grill is very good.

Chrissy:

Oh, my god. I

Paul:

love You guys don't do sushi

Brandon:

though. Right?

Chrissy:

I don't.

Paul:

I do. I just did last week.

Chrissy:

Steakhouse.

Brandon:

Super raw.

Paul:

Yeah. I love all that.

Brandon:

Raw everything. I didn't I needed a girl from Hong Kong that

Paul:

introduced me to my When I eat my steak, that motherfucker could literally be I want cold

Brandon:

in the center.

Paul:

Yeah. I want it to be down your resuscitated by a fucking good bet could bring that motherfucker back. Right.

Brandon:

Yeah. Yeah. We'll sort motherfucker out. Absolutely.

Paul:

Holy fuck. 100%. Guarantee. Yeah.

Brandon:

100%. I'm well, could fucking everything. I grew up eating crackers.

Chrissy:

Fuck. Okay, Brian. And last question.

Brandon:

I thought that was last minute.

Chrissy:

Do you think you will ever like slow down? Nope. Are you gonna ride are you gonna go full throttle till the wheels fall off?

Brandon:

Absolutely. Yep.

Paul:

Yeah. All the way. Alright. So He's already burned them half

Brandon:

alright. I've met so many people over the years because I like talking to people. I like to travel. I've traveled a lot. And every single fucking old like, I like conversation with old people because they

Chrissy:

I do too.

Brandon:

They've lived life. Yeah. You learn a lot from them. Every single fucking one of them told me. They're like, do the things you want to when you're young because when you get our age

Paul:

You can't do them.

Brandon:

You can't.

Chrissy:

You don't even know if you're gonna

Brandon:

get that age. Well, that's the thing. I'm probably gonna shit I honestly hope I fucking don't. I don't wanna be 80 because I'm probably not gonna be walking very well. You know what I mean?

Brandon:

I mean, fuck

Paul:

you up. Make it tough.

Brandon:

The thing is, it's like every single one of like, okay, I wanna do over to Tennessee. Now, we're like 72 years old, we moved to Tennessee a few years ago. Now, we can't do the things that we wanna do because we're out of like, we just our bodies don't allow us. Right? Right.

Brandon:

Like, do the traveling, do the stuff like that. Thing is, you could always fucking make money. You're somebody that's like driven paper. You can always make money. Always make Big, big.

Brandon:

Yeah. It's fucking Those are guys

Paul:

don't, but go fucking

Brandon:

ass It's dirty paper. Can have I don't The government's printing new shit

Paul:

every I'm so bad. Like, that that

Brandon:

is Oh, my yeah.

Paul:

Dude, that is my biggest You

Chrissy:

grow up poor like I did.

Brandon:

Oh, yeah.

Chrissy:

It reads out

Brandon:

what you wanna hold on to.

Paul:

Yes. So Yeah. That is my biggest I go

Brandon:

that way and then sometimes it's

Paul:

That is my biggest downfall, like, right?

Brandon:

Yeah.

Paul:

I've seen my peep or I've seen people finance shit to the nines, right?

Chrissy:

Yes. Never do

Paul:

that.

paul:

And

Chrissy:

Never ever ever.

Paul:

My my old man's like, hey, you wanna be a billionaire? I'm like, fuck yes. Why wouldn't I wanna be? He's like, save 10%. I'm like, alright.

Paul:

So I've done that. I've done that since I've been 14.

Chrissy:

It's good.

Paul:

I fucking wash cars in Cartiva and Princeton for 4 or $5.25 an hour.

Chrissy:

Yeah.

Paul:

And he took fucking 10% out of that.

Brandon:

Yeah.

Paul:

And I've done that ever since I've been and then I'm like, now I've grown it to like 25% and then my company matches 10%. And then, it's like, I've

Chrissy:

You're got a gonna be

Paul:

It's being smart. It's like, I've got I've got that and then I've You got

Chrissy:

paid you paid his house off how many years ago? Fucking

Paul:

Four?

Chrissy:

Like, yeah.

Brandon:

And then it's

Paul:

No like house payment. And then it's like, now it's like, I don't I I can't stop. It's like a fucking addiction. Yeah. You do It's like, alright.

Paul:

So I did that. Right? And then it's like, alright. My financial advisor is like, hey. He's like, you wanna go on these vacations and do this shit or buy this shit?

Paul:

He's like, save 10%. So now I'm saving $200 a week in this account to fucking pay for when I retired so that I can go to Fiji or so that I can buy a truck or so I can buy

Brandon:

a Got

Paul:

a Belize. So I can go there or there. Yeah. And it's just like

Chrissy:

He messaged me the other day and he's like, well, I don't think I snapped something or whatever about investing.

Brandon:

So yeah. And you're like, maybe I shouldn't buy the

Chrissy:

Corvette or whatever it was that you said, and I should buy it.

Brandon:

Why the

Paul:

fuck? Buy

Chrissy:

it. Yeah.

Paul:

You're like, buy it.

Chrissy:

Dude. Fuck you, dude. Buy the Corvette.

paul:

And then I

Chrissy:

went You paid your

Brandon:

100 you need to fucking do that.

Chrissy:

Be it where you were 40 years old.

Paul:

Dude, I

Brandon:

was like, yeah. Or you just wait and wait and wait. Now you're 70 years old. Now, you don't want a Corvette. You're like, god, really wish I owned a fucking Corvette.

Paul:

Right? And then, I went to go buy that

Brandon:

Now, you're a new balance shoes. So

Paul:

bad. That Corvette

Chrissy:

Bad shoes.

Paul:

Fucking sold and now,

Brandon:

I can't even

Paul:

get it.

Brandon:

Now, it's a million dollar fucking car. I don't know. I I believe in a lot of that. Right? Like, I mean, I've been ups and downs, everything and I don't give a fuck.

Brandon:

I'll give somebody a fucking quarter out of my last dime. Right? Yeah. No. And like, I've made a lot of money.

Brandon:

Lost a

paul:

lot of money.

Brandon:

I don't have This last year, I think I've Dude, it's upwards of like 300 k is what I've spent on just enjoying life. Jesus. Oh, God. Yeah. Yeah.

Brandon:

I've not given a fuck because of anything going on because I don't trust the government.

Paul:

I need switch I need to switch fuck. Dude, I have

Brandon:

been fucking everything up, and I don't care. Right? I But I still got money in the bank, and I

Paul:

still got your pension. Well, I

Brandon:

still got that and everything. Well, I the thing is I have this side job. That's what's

Chrissy:

Yep. Yep. Yep.

Paul:

Yeah. So, like,

paul:

I have that.

Paul:

Shit too. That shit

paul:

is Trust

Brandon:

me. It's not insulator money.

Chrissy:

No. I know.

Paul:

But it's

Brandon:

part of your Right. But I I had it and I was able to do it. But I still, you know, I went on I sold my house or whatever. Yeah. Like, but I went and bought a new truck cash before I sold my house and sold my house and all that.

Brandon:

Yeah. And all that. Yep. You don't

Chrissy:

have a lot payments or any I

Brandon:

do and I don't. I don't know. I guess you don't I don't really know what you consider a lot of payments. I guess I mean, I don't

Chrissy:

have any payments other than

Brandon:

guess like, don't really have yeah.

Paul:

I mean, I have

Brandon:

zero. I got a motorcycle payment on

Paul:

a Harley

Brandon:

like And that's what I

Chrissy:

wear out be, a zero.

Brandon:

Alright. I got insurance. I can say

Paul:

that. Car. I have a She's bike. I don't have a snowmobile.

Brandon:

Don't know. I got fucking three vehicles

Paul:

and then

Brandon:

two motorcycles.

Chrissy:

My RV just burnt up, so I don't have a payment on that.

Brandon:

Well, Yeah. I've seen that.

paul:

What the

Brandon:

fuck happened there? Right? Don't

Chrissy:

know. You're You're like

Brandon:

came outside to dust or what?

Chrissy:

It was on fire. Tada.

Brandon:

Battery explosion problem.

Chrissy:

It was the refrigerator. The the switching now from electric to propane, something happened.

Paul:

AKA I'm never buying a fucking SUV.

Brandon:

I'm literally I'm looking at Toy Haulers right

Paul:

now too

Brandon:

and I'm not sure what to do. Right? A I'm nervous.

Paul:

You know, Redberg, I want Redberg's fucking ice castle.

Brandon:

I've been eyeballing like these mini houses that are on the River Otsego

Chrissy:

house. And

Brandon:

I'm so debating on buying one of those and then buying a house in like similar thing in Tennessee, but I found one there for property tax. I found one there for 50 k. How much sense?

Chrissy:

See? I know. Know.

Brandon:

Right. So my taxes would Right? Fucks. So I wanna have I wanna have multiple houses

Chrissy:

I want a big RV, so I don't have to pay property taxes anywhere. Right. Just RV lots.

Paul:

Dude, but fucking Well,

Brandon:

have you seen did you see J. D. Vance fucking trying to abolish property tax? That that fucking ass

Paul:

Could you imagine that? That ass

Brandon:

mailbox How much money would you you guys have much properties. How much

Paul:

money do you think you guys would save

paul:

on your property tax?

Paul:

That's fucking mailbox money, dude.

Brandon:

And even Trump's saying they don't know what the fuck they're doing. That's true.

Paul:

Mailbox. Oh, yay. Let's shotgun one of them twisted t's. Hey. Hey.

Paul:

They sent him free too. Come on. Right now. Let's do it. Let's do butt bong it.

Paul:

I bet I bet you can't.

Brandon:

I bet

Chrissy:

I can't

Paul:

either. You

Chrissy:

win. You win.

Paul:

Oh, that's I don't like your negative attitude. You've got negative attitude.

paul:

We have

Chrissy:

got to gotta shut things down now for the day,

paul:

but this

Chrissy:

was so much fun. Fuck's sake. We're gonna go out to eat afterwards.

Brandon:

Like, we're gonna need a recap here Yeah. In a couple months.

Chrissy:

Yeah. Definitely. Thank you for coming

Brandon:

on here.

Chrissy:

What a what a fun We're

Brandon:

gonna we're gonna find out what happens in, twelve weeks. Oh, dude. Yeah. We're I'm nervous for myself. Like, yeah.

Brandon:

You're like, hopefully Yeah. I'm able to come back, and, like, we'll talk about some of the things that are going on.

Paul:

I've got a house, and I've done

Brandon:

And I hope I get to run people over the

Paul:

fuck bus. That. I fucking bought fucking sport bikes, and we're fucking wreck shit, and we're fucking doing wheels.

Brandon:

Absolutely. Yep. No. We're gonna

Chrissy:

Brandon for sharing a little piece of your life with

Brandon:

us today.

Chrissy:

I didn't even

Brandon:

get to

Chrissy:

your mom's story.

Brandon:

Oh, god. We have there's so much. Like,

Chrissy:

honestly gonna have

Brandon:

to come. Would need hours and hours, realistically. Like, I yeah. Like, there

Chrissy:

This is the longest

Brandon:

wasted a day

Paul:

in my life.

Brandon:

Like, I honestly feel like I haven't wasted a day

Paul:

in my life. Like,

Brandon:

I've always tried to live every day to the fullest. I've done dumb shit. I've done good shit. Yeah. But I've always been good to

Paul:

people and treat people right.

Chrissy:

Talking with your

Paul:

a few of your friends best life.

Chrissy:

Oh. That's what

Brandon:

we gotta do, brother.

Paul:

Very Yeah, bud.

Chrissy:

And then you don't hear that a lot about from men about

Brandon:

men. No.

Chrissy:

You know? So it's pretty cool to hear that about you.

Brandon:

Well, dude, I was raised to be a good my grandpa on my dad's side was a very good person and I always like reached out and would give his last dollar to anybody. Right? Yeah. Like we'd go help anybody. The weekends we'd spend or weekdays like so I grew up on the farm, my dad worked nights and I'd spend the summers with my grandfather.

Brandon:

Grandfather. And like he owned multiple properties and multiple chicken barns and stuff like that. But he always made time. He took care. We would go through the town of Royalton and he'd have us tiller with the John Deere.

Brandon:

Mhmm. John Deere tiller. We'd go and till all the old people's.

Chrissy:

Nice. Love them.

Brandon:

Gardens and stuff. Like he was known for that. Like everybody knew my grandfather for being a very good person. And we trap, you know, we kind of like passed it on. Like there isn't a there isn't a single time like, if I haven't held the door open for somebody behind me, it's because I did not see them.

Paul:

Or didn't know Yeah. Yeah.

Brandon:

But you know what I mean? Like Yeah. And it's like that gratitude to pass forward.

Chrissy:

For your girlfriends?

Paul:

Every once

Brandon:

a while but they got fucking arms. You know what I mean?

Paul:

Well, and you gotta walk all the way around.

paul:

All the Yeah. Way

Brandon:

Oh, you guys

Chrissy:

are funny.

Brandon:

Well, the thing is is like, if you do over to if you can't be over after you do that

Paul:

because shit.

Brandon:

One time. It's a fifty fifty though.

Chrissy:

Well, I'm not gonna open Mike's door. His arms are full.

Paul:

Why the fuck not?

Chrissy:

I don't know.

Paul:

He would do it for you.

Chrissy:

He does do it for me.

Paul:

Does he fucking put the soil seed down?

Chrissy:

He does.

Paul:

Alright. Then fucking lift it up once No.

Brandon:

Right? Return the favor. Yes.

Paul:

How it's a 50

paul:

beat in the middle. No.

Chrissy:

How that fucking works.

paul:

Yeah. I don't know. Welcome to marriage. Welcome to marriage. I'm Nailed it.

paul:

Get fucked. I win. Guess what? That just that just solidified everything I've ever fucking said. Every fucking thing I've ever fucking said.

paul:

I fucking win. You didn't win shit. I fucking win. I wish that I fucking win.

Chrissy:

Maya swears he'll my god.

paul:

You're gonna win today, Satan.

Chrissy:

Mean, I own So the fucking It's her birthday. We gotta give her a space.

Paul:

Shit. You're right.

paul:

Oh, no.

Paul:

It's her birthday.

Chrissy:

Hell, though.

paul:

Hurrah. Okay.

Chrissy:

So wrapping it up. Thank you, Brandon, for sharing your life with us today.

Paul:

You dirty fucking pirate hookup.

Chrissy:

All the stories. Thank you, Polly. Hi. So much.

Brandon:

It's been a good time.

Chrissy:

That was my sidekick. I love you.

Paul:

I need you to fucking make me work out or something.

Brandon:

I will go. Right here, man.

Paul:

Right? Where? San. Free Fucking Fuck that place.

Brandon:

Yeah. Dude, all

Paul:

the other ones are weird as shit around here. Go to fucking Elk River because it's like $26.

Chrissy:

Always do.

Brandon:

I'll pay a $100 for the right gym, man. I

Paul:

I like that one.

Brandon:

I like equipment.

Chrissy:

Huge thing

Brandon:

to all

Chrissy:

the podcast listeners and YouTube watchers. They just hit 5,000 downloads. What? And a 120,000.

paul:

Boom shaka waka.

Brandon:

I'm still trying to figure out how to download YouTube.

Chrissy:

What in all?

Paul:

I don't even know how do you download I thought, what does that mean? Do you just

Chrissy:

On a podcast, do you listen to podcasts? Because like on like, Siri and Spotify Click

paul:

on Apple.

Chrissy:

Like when you're just

Paul:

thought you meant if you just click on YouTube I know.

Brandon:

You watch it.

Chrissy:

I'm talking about we are on a podcast.

Paul:

So you gotta go to like Spotify or something?

Brandon:

I like that.

Chrissy:

Spotify, Apple.

paul:

I don't

Paul:

know how to do that.

Brandon:

Actually don't

Chrissy:

because a lot of truck drivers listen to podcasts.

Brandon:

I haven't been huge on them. I can't afford it.

Chrissy:

But don't forget to subscribe, like, and share podcasts so we can continue to grow and keep reading

Brandon:

Oh, you

Chrissy:

yeah. Hilarious and informational content. I don't know. Informational.

Paul:

It's super information.

Chrissy:

Also, don't forget to check out our streetwear collection, sickbastardstreetwear.net. Everything you see behind us and that I'm wearing is available there on the website. Peace out.

The Untold Story of Brando's 62-Year-Old Legend/ Episode 006 Part 3/ Brandon Kloss

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