Beer, Booze & B.S. Podcast

Chrissy: 00:00

Now you're half like, I would be so paranoid carrying around that much cash.

Craig: 00:04

Oh, no. I ended up I ended up my buddy had pre paid

Paul: 00:07

a lot

Craig: 00:07

of stuff. I just was Same. I just gave him that with my cash. So then he had

Paul: 00:11

to worry

Chrissy: 00:12

about it. You had to.

Craig: 00:12

Then he but he then he gave his wife came over to visit, and then he gave it to her, and then she took it home. Okay. So, anyways, so then we then we're driving, and out of that hotel, and we hit the Amalfi Coast. And I and I think you should look that up. What is it?

Craig: 00:26

The Amalfi Coast.

Chrissy: 00:27

Where is in

Craig: 00:28

Italy. In Italy. And it's it's a road it's a road that does this and this, and you got a cliff on one side, and you got this the ocean and the sea on the other.

Chrissy: 00:37

So you rented Harlem's.

Craig: 00:39

Yeah. We're in a car at this point.

Chrissy: 00:40

At this point.

Craig: 00:41

Yeah. And so we we're doing the Amalfi Coast, and it's absolutely Just amazing. I I videoed part of it on Facebook, but it's absolutely phenomenal. Just phenomenal. Dude, my next trip is like And Germany.

Craig: 00:54

And so they were they were they were, you know, scooters and motorcycles just buzzing. Doing nine o, man. Chicks with dresses just being easy. Dude, I was coming I'm telling you. I I was on my way home yesterday, right, Saturday, and some chick on a fucking gold thing just blew my fucking doors off.

Craig: 01:17

With her old man, it it had to be, like, her either dad or something.

Chrissy: 01:21

On the back?

Craig: 01:22

No. No. Oh. This chick was on a gold thing. She was on like a 90 something gold thing.

Craig: 01:28

Okay. And then her dad was on like a newer one with the with like the new new ones where it had the the Reverse. Trunk cut off and shit. Yeah.

Chrissy: 01:38

Don't even know what what they look like.

Craig: 01:39

So it

Paul: 01:39

has a

Craig: 01:40

trunk cut off, and he's sitting there. He's got his feet down. He's just fucking doing this. Oh. He's just bobbing back and forth, I'm like, goddamn it.

Craig: 01:47

I wish I was on this bike just fucking living my bed. He's just whipping back and forth in the lane, dude. It's just like Well, I'll tell you. Oh, they were both living their best lives. In in Italy We also Yeah.

Craig: 02:00

In in Italy there, the biker culture is huge. And so we were we got this house. We rented this house.

Chrissy: 02:08

And where were you in We

Craig: 02:10

were in

Chrissy: 02:10

I know you were in Italy, but where?

Craig: 02:12

Down in the down in the South in

Chrissy: 02:15

Southern Italy.

Craig: 02:15

Down in Southern Italy. And when we got there, it was like nobody's around. We go into restaurants. No I mean, one one thing is you go you go We thought we were going to dinner. July.

Craig: 02:26

Yeah. We thought we were gonna go for dinner or lunch or go to lunch. Everything closes.

Chrissy: 02:31

Oh.

Craig: 02:31

Nobody speaks English. Nothing. You know, all everything. We're like, what the fuck are we gonna do for four days? We can't eat nothing.

Craig: 02:37

Every time we go out to eat, it's closed. Pizza. So we've Pizza and spaghetti. Yeah. Right?

Chrissy: 02:43

Like what I know.

Craig: 02:44

You're gonna hate on that. So then so we Yeah.

Paul: 02:47

So then we figured

Craig: 02:48

out the system. We figured out the system on the time schedules and everything. And so once and then we found I I found an app that I could scan Oh. I could scan an 2,000 words at you. Yep.

Craig: 03:01

Absolutely. Would And And it would tell me in English. Then we started we were able to eat. And we we finally got food. I had a nap, and I was And able so then Fucking glorious.

Craig: 03:11

We we drove. We spent a lot of time down there in this area.

Chrissy: 03:14

Yep.

Craig: 03:14

And anyways, so then after a few weeks, we went to Rome, and we rented our motorcycles in in Rome. And we took off, and we went through went all the way to where the power What kind of motorcycles did you rent? Well They were I we were on Harleys. I rented a road glide, and my buddy had a speed glide. I was just like, can you rent a fucking Harleys?

Craig: 03:33

Or Yep. And I but I wouldn't recommend it. No? No. No.

Craig: 03:37

I'll tell you. When we get so we get down the on the bikes, we take off, and we get to our first hotel, and it's, you know, again, no English. And And you're we're just as GPS was

Chrissy: 03:49

us as American. We as

Craig: 03:50

as far. Knows English. Right? GPS is not our friend. We couldn't understand the GPS.

Craig: 03:56

Hey. Why do you think fucking Swift ends

Paul: 03:58

up in so many fucking cornfields?

Craig: 04:02

So we are all up fucking. We go to the Leaning Tower Of Pisa. We do all that. And so we We do the fucking picture where you're We like did. Yeah.

Craig: 04:10

I know you did, you motherfucker. So we so we go. So then, you know, we're we're having this great time. And then we then we hit Milan. And we Was it beautiful?

Craig: 04:22

Absolutely beautiful. And then we right there, we crossed over, and we stopped to get gas, and we we didn't realize we were in Germany at that point.

Chrissy: 04:30

And even know you crossed over?

Craig: 04:32

No. No. Wait. Not Germany. It's in Switzerland.

Chrissy: 04:35

Okay.

Craig: 04:35

And but we met some Germans at this gas station, and so they're telling us all this shit. And then we take off, and we end up on this on and I can't remember the name of the of the pass because everything's a pass there. Sure. And it's just these big old ass Swiss francs. Yeah.

Craig: 04:49

And they're It's super the snow The snow is melting on top

Paul: 04:53

of it.

Craig: 04:53

Yeah. On these mountains. Roller coasters. All this shit. Right?

Craig: 04:57

And then we're the only ones on this road at this. So we're like, living your best life. And we just

Chrissy: 05:02

and we like it.

Craig: 05:03

We get over the top. Zig zag. Zig zag. Zig zag. And then we're like in this valley, and I'm like, I'm I'm I'm I'm like Julie Andrews singing the sound of fucking music.

Craig: 05:12

And we're in Switzerland, and all of sudden and we Nobody knows who that is. No. We end up in this rule? Yeah. We end up in this little town called Andromat.

Chrissy: 05:23

And Andromat?

Craig: 05:24

Ander Andromat. Andromat. Something like

Chrissy: 05:26

that. Andromat?

Craig: 05:27

Yeah. Lander. But it's all like a Swiss Swiss like a ski chalet. Everything everything is like that. And it's a small little town.

Craig: 05:36

There's a river running fucking epic. We're like picture. It Yeah. Yeah. It is.

Craig: 05:41

And we're sitting there. Your Insta three sixty going?

Paul: 05:44

Yeah.

Craig: 05:44

Fuck. And I'm like I'm like, oh my god. This is, like, awesome. So we we walk around town. We take pictures.

Craig: 05:50

We're like, what the hell, man? It started to rain on us, and we're like, we have no idea what what the next day is gonna bring. We have Sure. Really, I had and my buddy just booked this shit without ever seeing it. Sure.

Craig: 06:01

And we end up in this great little town. I could've spent month there. Right? Yeah. Dude, that's what's in the system.

Craig: 06:06

The best. Just he just booked it. Shit

Chrissy: 06:09

just falls.

Craig: 06:09

Yeah. He just booked this. That's how it happens when you just fucking wing shit. Then we take off. We take off again,

Paul: 06:16

and we're Well, not

Craig: 06:16

always. And we're going down. Yeah. You're going down, and I keep hearing bells.

Chrissy: 06:20

I keep

Craig: 06:21

hearing the bells and shit. Right? Since we've slowed down. Hear bells. I'm like, what the fuck?

Craig: 06:26

So we stopped at this one place.

Chrissy: 06:27

Bells?

Craig: 06:28

We talked to got bells. We got them. We stopped at this place. This month. It's like, going by.

Craig: 06:33

And we stopped at this outlet, and I'm like, man, guy, we gotta get some pictures. We're old fashioned train, blah. I'm hearing bells. And all of sudden, I realized it's fucking cowbells. Each cow each cow has a bell on it, and every time they walk or eat Yeah.

Craig: 06:48

Yeah. Ding ding ding ding ding ding. They're all doing it. They're sacred as fuck down there. Fuck, man.

Craig: 06:55

This is cool and shit. It's like, literally, the sound of music comes. Yeah. A female deer. And we're driving.

Craig: 07:04

And then and then all of a sudden, we end up out of this we're we're kind of in and then we hit the snow. Mhmm. We go back up, and we're all of a sudden, got five feet, 10 feet of snow around us in Switzerland. I'm saying that

Chrissy: 07:15

up in elevation.

Craig: 07:16

And then we go back to that. And then we go back down. Know? Because you're there

Chrissy: 07:20

in the summer.

Craig: 07:20

Right. And then yeah. But the snow is still still Right. And all the the creeks, the rivers, the the the freaking waterfalls are fucking amazing. And then we end up down in Austria, and Austria was absolutely Innsbruck was fucking fabulous.

Craig: 07:35

Dude.

Chrissy: 07:36

It's, like, beautiful.

Craig: 07:37

Beautiful. Beautiful. Cool. Are you still riding bikes? Yeah.

Craig: 07:41

We're on bikes. We're still on Harley's. Do you know what I'm cruising?

Chrissy: 07:44

Almost the whole time.

Craig: 07:45

A scooter. So that yeah. Then we'll get to that. Yeah. So then you're gonna have a seventeen hour fucking thing.

Craig: 07:51

So Disappear. So then I get so then we get we get into Innsbruck, and my buddy books this place. It's a biker fucking place. What? We the guy's got a Harley the guy's got old Harleys.

Craig: 08:05

The guy's got a fucking little museum. Like a museum. You know, a little museum where we park their bikes? Badass. And all these guys are coming in on

Paul: 08:13

the I on the

Craig: 08:13

need pictures of this. All these guys on the adventure bikes are coming in, and we're bullshitting with them. And then we end up meeting the the owner of a Harley shop in Tyrol, Italy. Annie owns the Harley shop in Innsbruck. We went to this place.

Craig: 08:27

We went to both places and bought t shirts, and the guys meet us meets us there. Fucking gives a he's got a bar in there. We're drinking beers with him. He's telling I'm sick as that. He's telling us about his trip to America.

Craig: 08:37

Oh my god. He's And then the guy I can't wait till I retire. The owner of the the owner of the the owner of the hotel says, you gotta go to this museum up on this top of this bike museum. It's just fucking phenomenal. It's like, hold my beer.

Craig: 08:49

Where are we going? So then we start down these passes, and I don't remember the names as as like my buddy does.

Paul: 08:54

Sure.

Craig: 08:55

And we're in

Chrissy: 08:56

And now you you went on

Craig: 08:57

We're in snow. We're in Austria, and we're going and we're in snow high. Avalanches, everything

Chrissy: 09:03

else. Cycle.

Craig: 09:03

And it's the first time that This reminds me of, like, when I fucking went to Havasu, and I came through fucking Loveland Pass. Yep. It was Snow? April. Oh, no.

Craig: 09:16

Yeah. When I was coming down, what did the sign say? It said, hey. Watch for fucking snow and ice. And I'm on my motorcycle.

Craig: 09:23

Right. I'm like, what's snow and ice? I'm like, no. That's not that's I didn't sign up for none of this.

Chrissy: 09:29

Beartooth passed

Craig: 09:29

in August. Yeah. Beartooth passed. I had snow. Had snow.

Craig: 09:32

Guess what? You're gonna fucking learn today. You're gonna fucking learn today. So we got I got pictures of me being against this thing. Avalanches are happening, and it's the first time this one pass was open.

Craig: 09:46

Savanna Pass or something like that. Sure. First time it's open. You got tour buses. You got motorcycles.

Craig: 09:51

You got cars. And it's and we're talking tight switchbacks. And if you and when you take when you're taking a hard when you're taking a hard hard right uphill Yep. Yep. It pulls you this way.

Craig: 10:03

Absolutely. Don't like you I this don't know why I don't like going uphill. Yes. I know. And I'm telling my buddy this, and he's like, what do you mean?

Craig: 10:11

I'm like, you'll find out. Yeah. I said, you gotta be careful with the field. Five fucking minutes. Too slow, you're gonna fall over, and we saw a lot of bikes falling over.

Craig: 10:19

Seriously? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. But then we also a lot a lot saw a lot of guys that were taking the line here and then going down.

Craig: 10:25

And these guys are on these, you know, 1,200 GS Yeah. BMWs and shit. They're fucking flying through this. Yeah. Yeah.

Craig: 10:31

Yeah. So The

Chrissy: 10:32

smaller the bike, the better, I'm assuming.

Craig: 10:34

Well, the the more the more balanced. Right. Your your road glides and

Chrissy: 10:38

They're very top heavy.

Craig: 10:39

They're top heavy. So you're not you're not gonna get that that center balance. But but we saw all kinds of bikes, the motorcycle culture down there is huge. It's big. It's bigger than here.

Craig: 10:49

Really? Way bigger than here. Fuck. It's more universal. Oh, really?

Craig: 10:53

And and because everybody, you go into kind of every type of motorcycle. Every type of motorcycle. You go into a in a big city Mhmm. You got chicks coming out of law offices. You got banks On bikes.

Craig: 11:03

On scooters. Scooters. Thing.

Chrissy: 11:06

The scooter thing and

Craig: 11:07

the motorcycles are huge. Fucking scooters. I'm getting it. I'm gonna have a scooter in my scooter? Any kind I can find that I like.

Craig: 11:15

I'm telling you. It doesn't matter. Mike's got scooters. Mics? No.

Craig: 11:19

I'm I'm coming sorts of scooters.

Chrissy: 11:21

Bryce, you gotta come over.

Craig: 11:22

I'm coming over. But but, anyway They'll sell you a scooter. Get we get we get so we, you know, we end up with just fucking enjoying all that shit. And then we end up back in we end up back Can't in wait to retire. I know.

Craig: 11:36

It's all brutal. Accident. So my buddy's wife comes over.

Chrissy: 11:40

Got it. So

Craig: 11:41

Mission, like, the next twenty years of my life.

Chrissy: 11:44

One day, he's riding road glides through all these

Paul: 11:47

Yep.

Chrissy: 11:48

Mountains and all this beautiful stuff, and then the next thing I see, he's all bandaged.

Craig: 11:52

Right. Right?

Chrissy: 11:53

Because he got on a scooter.

Craig: 11:56

My buddy Dude, I feel like that's gonna be The meme. My buddy my my buddy's buddy Mike's wife like, hold him over here. Well, my buddy's wife came over.

Chrissy: 12:04

Yes.

Craig: 12:05

And and I hadn't been on a scooter or a minibike Scooter races. Forty or fifty years. So my buddy's wife comes over, and he's and we got a rental car. And they were gonna take the train. I'm like, no.

Craig: 12:15

Bullshit. Just take the car. Take the car. I said, I wanna rent a scooter. Yeah.

Craig: 12:21

So I rented a scooter. He drops me off. I get in the scooter. Right. And right away, because of the short wheelbase Yeah.

Craig: 12:28

Yeah. Yeah. I get on it. I'm like, What the fuck? I'm die.

Paul: 12:32

What's this?

Craig: 12:33

That would have You just must gone. So I finally get out, and right away, I go the wrong way on a one way street. No. And I got people honking and shit at me, and I'm like, what the fuck? You're like, fuck around.

Craig: 12:46

Smaller, get out of my way. I whip it around.

Paul: 12:48

Get out

Craig: 12:49

my way. I whip it around, I get going down, and I finally

Chrissy: 12:52

You're going the right way.

Craig: 12:53

I'm going the right way. I'm like, hell, what the fuck am I gonna do? I don't even know where I'm at. So I try to get the GPS to put me back to the rental house.

Paul: 13:01

You know?

Craig: 13:01

So I can't stop over. Find home. Yeah. So, anyway, so I get the scooter. I finally figure it all out, and I'm gonna man, I'm into it, man.

Craig: 13:10

Oh. I'm fucking cruising. Yeah. Yeah. I have to think for almost ten days.

Craig: 13:15

Almost two weeks.

Chrissy: 13:15

A scooter.

Craig: 13:16

A scooter. I'm just Now you're living independent. Now you're living your best my best life. I'm going up and looking at shit. I don't give a fuck.

Craig: 13:25

I don't give a fuck. Castle. I found

Chrissy: 13:28

Was there people in there, or is it a bandage?

Craig: 13:30

No. Like a like a like an old one from, like, the Roman days.

Chrissy: 13:33

Was there

Craig: 13:34

people in Nobody. No. So you go abandoned. Yeah. You can walk through it.

Craig: 13:37

You did? You did go tour through it? Oh, I just walked through it. There's no tour. Yeah.

Craig: 13:42

Yeah. All kinds of shit like that. You can do some of your own churches and shit. I mean, it was a I had See, that's why I wanna go, like, through, like, Greeceland, Ireland. Greece.

Craig: 13:51

Fucking Greece. Greece. Oh, yeah. All that shit. Greece.

Craig: 13:54

And I wanna Or Green or Greenland.

Chrissy: 13:57

I I wanna go

Craig: 13:58

to I was just talking to my buddy, and we were talking about going to Germany because his wife's from Germany. We're like, hey. Let's fucking

Chrissy: 14:04

She's literally from No.

Craig: 14:06

Yeah. Yeah.

Chrissy: 14:07

Was born there?

Craig: 14:08

Born and raised, and then she came here. She was in the military. That's how they met. But and she's got family over there. Dude, he's like, we went over there.

Craig: 14:16

We, like, we rented these cars, and we fucking raced up and down the Autobahn. I'm like, I wanna do that. Germany. Yeah. The roads in Germany when we went on the Autobahn there.

Craig: 14:25

He said there you go on the Autobahn. He said they're like, pardon. Italy. You can you're doing you're doing a 100. And he said it's like

Paul: 14:32

You're gonna get 100.

Craig: 14:34

Yeah. He said it's like butter. That's great. I'll make you one quick story about Germany. Yes.

Craig: 14:38

My butt my butt we we go into Germany. Get into Germany. Got it. Way to the town. Now Germany, everyone speaks English.

Craig: 14:47

Yep. Yeah. Yeah. That's what he's saying. It was awesome.

Craig: 14:49

Yep. We sit there and I order everything about I ordered these the kids. I ordered these sausages.

Chrissy: 14:54

Yep. Don't say swear words.

Craig: 14:56

Nope. Don't say swear words. So I ordered these sausages. Piss so bad. Right?

Craig: 14:59

Yeah. And they and they come, and they were white. White sauce you ever seen a white sausage? No. So anyway, there's Never mind.

Craig: 15:06

Right. And come in a pot It's all biting rainier. Pot like a biting rainier. Right? They come in a pot, and I'm like so I think I think there's wait.

Craig: 15:16

I think they're separated. Right? Yep. So I reach in with the tongs. They come with a a thin tongue.

Craig: 15:21

Yep. And and I'm in the I'm over in the middle we're in the middle of the restaurant. Oh, yeah. Whiter than that. Like that.

Craig: 15:27

White. So we're in the middle we're in the middle of a restaurant, and I pull them out and they're white, and I'm like, boy, I just wanted a German sausage. I heard they're really good. And so I pick it up. Well, there's three of them hooked together.

Craig: 15:40

Oh. Well, it got heavy and flipped up, and they go flopping on the ground. No. And so the saws hit the ground. My buddy and I are looking.

Chrissy: 15:48

I didn't

Craig: 15:49

do it. And we're like we're like It wasn't me. And I reached down with the tongs. I go, fuck it. Five minutes rule.

Craig: 15:55

You know? We're in Three seconds rule. Three seconds seconds rule. Not five minutes. It wouldn't

Paul: 16:00

Five minutes.

Craig: 16:01

Whatever. Five seconds. Said four seconds on the fucking porch. Look up, and there's this old English guy. And this old English guy is, like, looking at looking at

Paul: 16:12

me. Yep.

Craig: 16:13

And he goes he goes like this. He goes, that worked. And his wife just starts laughing because she was trying to hold it and be all proper.

Paul: 16:22

Oh, lord.

Craig: 16:23

And I and then my buddy is just losing it, man. He is laughing his butt off because I I I flipped these sausages on the ground. From that movie waiting. You're like, hey. They were really good too.

Craig: 16:35

You're like, yeah. They're really good.

Chrissy: 16:36

You're white?

Craig: 16:38

You're white, though. Yeah. It was really weird. It's like that. So I'm like alright.

Craig: 16:41

Let me get back to the the scooter accident. So it's my last day. Yeah. It's my last day.

Chrissy: 16:47

Okay.

Craig: 16:47

My buddy's like So you

Chrissy: 16:49

had this scooter for ten days.

Craig: 16:50

Yep. And Last day. We went to this one restaurant on recommendation from our landlord. K. And he said, gotta go.

Craig: 16:57

And it's a farm. They they it's a farm there, and they have a restaurant, and they grow their own grapes. They grow their own food. They raise their own meat. It's all Yeah.

Craig: 17:06

It's everything.

Chrissy: 17:07

So we You wanna support.

Craig: 17:08

So we went there, and a friend of, you know, our our the guy that we rented the house from.

Chrissy: 17:14

Mhmm.

Craig: 17:15

And so we get there, and we had no idea what to expect. So the menu is different every day.

Chrissy: 17:21

Yep.

Craig: 17:22

So we ordered this, and we had this fantastic meal. So then we decided when his wife came, we decided we'd take her there, so we went back. And so it was the last day of the scooter, and they said, I'll just drive with us. I'm like, no, man. I want my freedom.

Craig: 17:35

On my scooter. I'm taking the back road. How much

Chrissy: 17:37

alcohol had you I'm the back road.

Craig: 17:39

I'm taking my Vesma. I'm taking my Vesma. I'm taking it. I'm going. And I get in the and I get there ahead of them.

Craig: 17:46

Shit. I get there ahead of them, and I park. And then I realize that, you know, I'm sitting in the sun. I'm like, you know, I'm a flipper. So I go to flip around the parking lot.

Craig: 17:54

Yeah. And it's all gravel, and it's downhill. Uh-oh. Well what they did was they

Paul: 17:59

In the front brake.

Craig: 18:00

No. They filled they filled the no. It wasn't even that. They they filled the rut with just rock. Oh.

Craig: 18:09

So when I went in and I went to turn, I went like this, and it just Like that. Then Right in the and it went Yep. Ripped me right over.

Chrissy: 18:18

But how did you get so hurt?

Craig: 18:20

Gravel. It was all gravel. I just Gravel. It was fucking your life up. It was like this.

Craig: 18:26

Remember when I did that fucking heel clicker with the bootlegger and the drink and the PBR? Yep. Yep. So I Call watched nine one one, and they're like, hey. Are you okay?

Craig: 18:36

I'm like, am I fucking So I get off the I saw you caught up. Right? Grapple. Yep. Okay.

Craig: 18:41

So, yeah, I go to the grapevine or the the vineyard. Yes. And there's a hose Squeeze them. I'm doing No. I'm hosing myself line on.

Craig: 18:49

So we go in there and well, the

Chrissy: 18:50

So was it just your arm?

Craig: 18:52

Oh, no. My whole my whole leg.

Chrissy: 18:54

Leg and knees.

Craig: 18:55

Leg and leg and arm here. Thought my tattoo was gonna come off. I did. It was Everything's fucked. So then I get in there.

Craig: 19:02

I get into the restaurant, and the lady goes says something in Italian and brings over all this gauze and alcohol and and stuff and takes care of me and all that.

Chrissy: 19:13

Well, that was nice.

Craig: 19:14

Yeah. And so then we then we met we met so that that

Chrissy: 19:16

So it wasn't like a hospitalization.

Craig: 19:18

No. No. It was just a But then that was Sunday.

Chrissy: 19:21

Fucked up.

Craig: 19:22

That was Sunday. K. And when you when you lay those things over, they have a sensor in them Oh.

Paul: 19:29

Where you

Craig: 19:29

can't start them again.

Paul: 19:30

Get it all up.

Craig: 19:31

So I set

Paul: 19:31

it up

Craig: 19:32

and it And I'm like but I didn't know about the sensor. Yeah. So I'm like, oh, crap. How am I gonna get this thing back and turn it got in tomorrow? It.

Craig: 19:40

I it. In tomorrow. Yeah. So because we're leaving on the on the motorcycle So then I get the I so I finally, I'm sitting there, I'm eating this food, and I'm blah blah blah. And we'd here's another thing.

Craig: 19:53

We we they said we they said meatloaf. That we thought we had ordered meatloaf. Well, it wasn't meatloaf. It was this big old hog leg on a bone, and they called it meatloaf.

Chrissy: 20:02

A hog leg?

Craig: 20:03

I was yeah. It's really good, though. It was so weird. So that was that was a shock. So I ate my hog leg, my meatloaf, and then I went out and I thought, I gotta go.

Craig: 20:12

I gotta see if I gotta see if it starts. And so it started, and I went back in. I said, hey. The scooter started. I'm out of here.

Paul: 20:18

I'm out.

Craig: 20:19

You guys enjoy enjoy you guys enjoy the dessert and all the food and all the drinks. I'm out of here. And so I get back, and then the next day, I pay I bought that. I should have packed that scooter up and taken it home. Right?

Craig: 20:32

You're like, this motherfucker's mine.

Chrissy: 20:34

What you

Craig: 20:34

paid. It cost me so much. It cost me a thousand bucks. What did you do to the stuff

Paul: 20:38

you scuffed

Craig: 20:39

at all? Oh, it was You're like, fuck this. I'm taking home. All cosmetic. All plastic.

Craig: 20:44

Yeah. I'm taking home. So what he does, he gets online. I'm watching him online. He's checking the guy doing 300 those are $300.

Craig: 20:51

Prices. No. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Craig: 20:52

Dude, dude. Don't know. It goes with some Honda. So they're going to Honda American prices. Yeah.

Craig: 20:57

And so when I get back to when I get back to my the house, my landlord says, well, what do you have to pay? When I told him, he goes He's like You got fucked. One, two, I fucked, dude. And he's like, he's going in. And he's like, man, I got a guy.

Craig: 21:14

We're gonna fix that thing, you know, for nothing. And so, anyways, that so I ended up buying it. But I had fun.

Chrissy: 21:20

I had

Craig: 21:21

so much fun. Didn't do shit. That's the same vacations

Chrissy: 21:24

you need to do.

Craig: 21:25

Here's the here's the coolest thing. Shit happens on occasions. Thing, though. The my landlord knew somebody who made his own wine. We had a gallon of wine almost every day delivered to us.

Craig: 21:36

Nice. He knew someone that raised his own chicken. Right. So we had a dozen eggs Delivered. Delivered to us.

Craig: 21:41

Every day. And then he had he had the he knew the baker in town in a small town, little city town we were in. They knew the the the thing, and we had fresh bread every day. And he would bring it to us, and it didn't and it didn't cost us nothing. And then we went back, and we made sure we went to all those places and and got them stuff.

Craig: 22:00

Paid back. Yeah. Yeah.

Chrissy: 22:01

Your religious service in England. I heard you performed a religious service in England. Tell us about that.

Craig: 22:08

Yep. I went on a I went on a mission.

Chrissy: 22:10

Is that was with

Craig: 22:10

your missionary? With the church.

Chrissy: 22:12

With the Mormon church. Yep.

Craig: 22:13

I needed to I needed a change of scene. How did

Chrissy: 22:16

you get England of all places?

Craig: 22:19

You just you just submit your application and get K. You know what you get, bro.

Chrissy: 22:25

You the ones that get

Craig: 22:26

My brother went to Ohio. My brother was in Ohio, and I've You got in Denmark. I got friends that went everywhere. And, I put in I literally needed a change of scenery. Yeah.

Craig: 22:37

And so I was in living in Nevada with my girlfriend's family, And I'm like, this is I'm not going fucking nowhere, dude.

Chrissy: 22:45

Yeah.

Craig: 22:45

So I I was not a good student. Signed up? I wasn't a good student in high school. Yep. So college really wasn't on my thing.

Craig: 22:53

Oh. So I did not for yourself. I did after the fact because I learned how weird student. I learned how to study a little bit. Yeah.

Craig: 23:00

Oh, I got kicked out of high school So did before graduation. You did? Yeah.

Paul: 23:04

That's another

Craig: 23:06

So anyway, so so I yeah. So I thought, you know what? Called my dad up, I said, dude, I'm I'm really thinking I I need a change. I'm gonna I wanna go on a mission. He goes, alright.

Craig: 23:18

I'll he goes, I'll support you. If you wanna go, I'll support you. He goes, are you sure? Because, know Yeah. Sounds awesome.

Craig: 23:23

Who I He knew who I was. Yep. True. It's a true He knew yeah. It was true.

Craig: 23:28

It's cool. I said I said, yeah. I got I really do. I think I it might be good for me. And he goes, I agree.

Craig: 23:34

Something will be good for you. Yeah.

Paul: 23:36

So better

Craig: 23:37

than nothing. Because see, when when I graduated high school, we a bunch of us were gonna go in the marines. Oh. But they No. They changed they changed the they changed the the thing.

Chrissy: 23:47

The cryo

Craig: 23:48

did I was the first group of people that didn't have you weren't gonna get drafted. Oh. You didn't have to register. I didn't have to register. I didn't have to do anything.

Craig: 23:57

Oh. So we were trying to do it as a group so that we could have control of where we were gonna end up.

Chrissy: 24:02

Okay.

Craig: 24:03

So once that fell through, college wasn't an option. I moved with her to Nevada. I'm like, ah. And then when I got there, I couldn't find work, and it was just a pain in the ass. And I was living on a cot, and my dog hated it, everything.

Craig: 24:19

Know. Already

Paul: 24:20

dog. I

Craig: 24:20

already said back then. He hated it. So anyways, so setter. So my dad supports me. I go on.

Craig: 24:26

I decided to go. And when I went there a lot. Great time. I was not your about

Paul: 24:34

the service that

Craig: 24:35

you did. I was not a

Chrissy: 24:36

were a missionary.

Craig: 24:37

We'd go knock on we'd go knock on doors at nineteen. Knock on doors. We talked to them about God and Jesus and stuff.

Chrissy: 24:44

I mean, I've had the missionaries at my house.

Craig: 24:45

Yep. So everyone fucking hated you. We give them the lessons. And then my biggest thing was I like I like going head to head with Jehovah's Witness, with Catholic priests, with Church of England priests. It had a lot of Hindus and Muslims

Chrissy: 25:01

So you like to debate

Craig: 25:02

of it? So, yeah. I would I kinda would use that as my, you know, I would But do

Chrissy: 25:08

you still believe now after you're, you know,

Craig: 25:11

you're Oh,

Chrissy: 25:12

I I have forty years later?

Craig: 25:13

I have a I have a huge belief in in something. Defining it? What? Defining it? You can't define it?

Craig: 25:20

Defining it might be might be

Chrissy: 25:22

But you're you're talking about something

Craig: 25:23

that's all I am. Head with a different relationship. If I go head to with someone and they wanna talk and debate the Bible, I'm I'm fine with that. Like, I have a I have

Paul: 25:30

a belief in something, but I can't tell you what it is. It's like, I believe in God and fucking That's

Craig: 25:36

weird. There's gotta be something

Chrissy: 25:39

believe us.

Craig: 25:39

There's something bigger than us. It has to be when you look at when you look You at don't need to tell me where or when I need to believe in it. Right. Exactly. Yeah.

Craig: 25:49

Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. A 100%. I I and I'm and I'm totally I'm totally there.

Craig: 25:54

I mean, was just with two friends in Southern Minnesota.

Chrissy: 25:58

Of us Christians, because I believe we're all three of us are Christians.

Craig: 26:02

We're not

Chrissy: 26:03

Muslims or anything else.

Craig: 26:04

Right.

Chrissy: 26:05

We believe in the higher power. We believe that we're going

Craig: 26:08

super high spec.

Paul: 26:09

I think I could

Craig: 26:09

But We believe that Jesus

Chrissy: 26:12

probably died

Paul: 26:12

of the

Craig: 26:12

past and blah blah blah blah.

Chrissy: 26:14

Right. All the the main things

Craig: 26:17

About Christianity.

Chrissy: 26:18

Need to be we don't need to have a preacher or a priest or a designated speaker for a religion

Craig: 26:28

No.

Chrissy: 26:28

Telling us what

Craig: 26:29

to believe in. I I I totally Or when or when or when. With birth. I'm totally on board with all of that, and I I do I I do I have any regrets about the way I grew up? No.

Craig: 26:40

I I do the the Oscars, we would we had our own Mormon clique

Chrissy: 26:45

Yep.

Craig: 26:45

When you talked Colt earlier. You know, we Well, high school in high school in high school, you know, all the Mormons would sit together at lunch and and think of that. Not me, but I mean, I was I was off. I know. I was off smoking weed in the bathroom.

Craig: 27:00

You weren't Mormon yet. Well, what I'm saying is what I'm saying is is that, you know

Paul: 27:05

He's the bad Mormon.

Craig: 27:05

There's a whole yeah. There's no. There's there's a whole thing, but I don't remember all my life. I don't regret growing up growing up the way I did. Yeah.

Paul: 27:13

It's good.

Craig: 27:13

You know? And I don't I don't have any my parents did a great job.

Chrissy: 27:16

Any of us should regret No. Any of the things that were out of our control.

Craig: 27:23

Absolutely. Were born

Chrissy: 27:24

into that.

Craig: 27:25

Yes.

Chrissy: 27:26

As

Craig: 27:26

Right. Well, I feel like like your parents kinda guided you into a certain way. And I was allowed to make my own decisions. Yeah. And it's

Chrissy: 27:34

like That's why I never baptized my son.

Craig: 27:36

And until you're, like, 18 to 20 years old I'm

Chrissy: 27:40

not gonna regulate. No. You know, you're 35 years old.

Craig: 27:44

Yeah. Same thing. 100%. Hannah was she had a blast. She was blessed.

Chrissy: 27:48

Wants to be baptized at some point in time in some certain

Craig: 27:52

Or he makes that decision. Yeah. But I

Chrissy: 27:54

not believe in any way, shape, or form that my son isn't gonna go to

Craig: 27:59

a a Better place. Right. I agree. I I agree.

Chrissy: 28:02

Because I didn't baptize him.

Paul: 28:04

Right. Fucking dumbest shit I've ever had.

Chrissy: 28:05

I I

Craig: 28:06

totally I totally agree. Totally agree. But And

Chrissy: 28:09

I don't believe in

Craig: 28:11

Listen to the people who are gonna tell you the

Chrissy: 28:13

six months old, the religion that they have to be the rest of their life.

Craig: 28:19

I think I think that I think that there's certain the golden rule, treat others like you wanna be treated.

Chrissy: 28:24

Rule is probably the most important

Craig: 28:27

I think that I think if there's if there's anything else that that that you know, if you can't treat people, it's like people matter who they are, how you wanna be treated, then you got a then you got a problem. Like, think they call it

Chrissy: 28:41

bringing that up last week.

Craig: 28:42

Call it. Yeah. Gonna Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Chrissy: 28:45

Yeah. I don't wanna treat somebody how I you know, I don't wanna do something, and I I think he was technically talking about his girlfriend or whatever

Paul: 28:53

she was. I

Chrissy: 28:55

don't want something done to me that I didn't. I don't wanna do something to somebody else that I wouldn't want done

Paul: 28:59

to me. Right.

Chrissy: 29:00

That is basically what the goal is.

Craig: 29:02

Absolutely. Yes. Absolutely. And I

Chrissy: 29:03

And everybody in the entire world followed that, we wouldn't have wars.

Paul: 29:09

We wouldn't

Chrissy: 29:09

have any of

Craig: 29:10

the shit. Shit. We wouldn't have a lot of shit that we would have.

Chrissy: 29:12

Any of it.

Craig: 29:13

Right. There's certain things.

Chrissy: 29:15

Theft.

Craig: 29:16

Guys you guys you guys, all of it with All of with what you did for for the mini bike rack.

Chrissy: 29:21

Okay.

Craig: 29:22

And and the things you do when you post things about a missing dog or you post things about people in the community. Because it means something to me. Community is something it means something to you, but but when we live in communities, we have to take ownership Perfect. On some of it. And it I'm a community.

Craig: 29:39

It doesn't mean it doesn't mean you

Paul: 29:41

You are.

Craig: 29:42

It doesn't mean you have to Hey. You have to sit there and donate tons of cash or time. Yeah. But you have to you have to be cognizant and recognize that. Just yeah.

Craig: 29:53

Just And and when you're doing things like what you guys do Do things for your community. Help your community. Help your people in your better. Community. Yeah.

Craig: 30:03

That's what so I I can I think that we

Chrissy: 30:06

You need to come on it sometime? I will. Will you? Yeah. Will.

Chrissy: 30:09

Okay. Because you have a lot to talk about.

Craig: 30:10

Yeah. I do. Well, let me know. Just no. I just think what you what what you and Mike do when you're when you're helping people, it's an example to to me and to other people, and I hope you continue to

Chrissy: 30:23

Pay it forward.

Craig: 30:24

Pay it forward.

Chrissy: 30:25

I have well

Craig: 30:26

I think it's important. And I think as a as a business owner

Chrissy: 30:29

get into this with the whole Capone thing. No.

Craig: 30:31

No. It's

Chrissy: 30:32

I had so much support and so much community support Yeah. And so much stuff with Capone when

Paul: 30:39

he got

Chrissy: 30:40

cancer. And the people that stepped up, not it really wasn't even because of me because he was just a dog that was the community dog. Like, everybody freaking loved him.

Craig: 30:51

Right? When you

Chrissy: 30:52

come Everybody loved him.

Craig: 30:54

When you come into a liquor store. Right? You

Chrissy: 30:57

by this big badass. Yeah. That's just No.

Craig: 31:00

Lovable. Just a lovable fucking He ended up Yeah. I mean It's like, how do you know?

Chrissy: 31:06

It's all good desperate, desperate, beyond belief to save his life, and I would have done anything, and I still like, if he like, would still be doing everything if

Craig: 31:17

Right.

Chrissy: 31:18

God didn't have another plan

Craig: 31:19

for him. No. It's

Chrissy: 31:21

And I it was my responsibility after that, after seeing that the community or support and the friendship support and the love that that dog got from our community Yep. To pay it forward, and I will always pay it forward. Yeah. Absolutely. You know?

Craig: 31:38

And I and I but I think that Which

Chrissy: 31:40

is why we have the Capone Compassionate Care Fund.

Craig: 31:42

Right. And I think and I think it's it's bad. It's okay to say that on your podcast.

Paul: 31:47

Yeah.

Craig: 31:48

It really is. And I think if the word needs to keep getting out, and when you post it, when everyone posts it, you post some, I post some. I think it's

Paul: 31:55

good to

Craig: 31:55

have that stuff. Yeah. And it just goes to help other people nowadays. Another cause. It's okay.

Craig: 32:02

Like, someone someone in the position that you are in, right, they don't have that they don't have the money to fucking pay for a $15,000 surgery.

Paul: 32:11

No.

Craig: 32:12

I But, hey, that Capone fucking fund will help with whatever. Yes. Make it bridge that gap and fucking save save that animal for some

Paul: 32:24

of those.

Craig: 32:25

We're all linked to we're all linked to pets in one way or another. That's Most of us. People, not everybody, but most of us are.

Chrissy: 32:31

You know? I mean know you love I

Paul: 32:33

know you

Chrissy: 32:33

love dogs, but you're not home enough, and you're a single person.

Craig: 32:36

I wish I would a dog isn't the best choice. I can't have a dog right now. To have a dog. Me too. Me too.

Craig: 32:42

So I got a good friend, my friend of mine, Joanne Edmonds.

Chrissy: 32:48

Go ahead. Yeah.

Craig: 32:49

Yeah. She let me foster her dog, whatever, not really foster, but just take care of it while she was away for a couple months and it was like

Chrissy: 32:59

The best thing ever.

Craig: 33:00

Dude, you know what? And it just

Paul: 33:02

He gives you a purpose.

Craig: 33:03

Dude, that dog just like changed my life on so many levels. Yeah. Because like my mom my mom was like, oh, you're you're taking care of Pitbull? And then she came over and then hung out with fucking that pit bull, and she's like

Chrissy: 33:18

Was that when your mom lived with you?

Craig: 33:19

Yeah. Yeah. She's like, oh my god. I need a pit bull. I'm like, put yourself Yeah.

Craig: 33:25

They are. Fucking smart. They are. They're just the most love anyone who has a They

Chrissy: 33:31

call them baby sitters. Yeah. Anyone would babysit Anybody who

Craig: 33:35

plantation Who has

Chrissy: 33:36

a a babysitter.

Craig: 33:37

Right. Anybody who has a stigma against pit bulls needs to just spend ten to fifteen minutes with a pit bull. Any And I promise you Any dog. Yeah. With any dog.

Craig: 33:48

Right. Right. Yeah.

Chrissy: 33:49

But And I was gonna message you.

Craig: 33:51

I thought

Chrissy: 33:51

you said on the last podcast how bad you want a king Corso. Oh.

Craig: 33:54

I have

Chrissy: 33:55

someone in Arizona Stop.

Craig: 33:57

Don't wanna do Don't go, man. Don't fuck off. I don't wanna see it. I can't.

Chrissy: 34:02

They're so beautiful.

Craig: 34:03

They are. I was hate when I was doing

Chrissy: 34:06

She rescued this pregnant female from a shelter that someone had dumped. She was pregnant. I had five or six. There's two females left. Yeah.

Craig: 34:18

Like, do I tell Polly? I was was was doing over the

Chrissy: 34:23

that too.

Craig: 34:23

I was doing over the road. I was at Cheeseburger in Paradise in Indianapolis. This dude came up, and he had a brand new baby cane corso. And I'm

Paul: 34:33

like, motherfucker, you need to leave

Craig: 34:35

right now before I seal your fucking dog. Yeah. And then that

Chrissy: 34:40

They're cool dogs, for sure.

Craig: 34:42

When a when I retire

Chrissy: 34:44

knows this.

Craig: 34:44

When I retire, I am gonna have, like, five to 15 dogs that are, like, need rehabilitation that are on their last legs that are on their way out, and I'm gonna fucking give them their best lives. Absolutely. There you go. And that's all I wanna do. Oh, I can't worry.

Chrissy: 35:02

All dogs go to heaven, and those of us that take care of these dogs Oh.

Craig: 35:06

We'll go to heaven. Tag along.

Chrissy: 35:07

Tag along. Like, they're greeting us up there. Yeah. Alright. We gotta try do drink six, which is sweet bitch, black cherry Moscato.

Chrissy: 35:18

Sweet bitch comes Moscato.

Craig: 35:19

What? Black cherry and Moscato? Are you talking to all my It's it's game over.

Paul: 35:26

Come in pineapple

Chrissy: 35:27

Moscato, Pinot Grigio, Merlot, Moscato

Craig: 35:29

on that bottle.

Chrissy: 35:30

Moscato, mango Moscato, Moscato Rose.

Craig: 35:33

What's a Moscato? It's a sweetest wine. And it is

Chrissy: 35:38

so Moscato is a very

Craig: 35:40

sweet drink. Yeah. Alright. You like it? So fucking good.

Craig: 35:43

You're you're

Chrissy: 35:45

If you're

Craig: 35:45

a sweet bitch like this one. A sweet bitch. I got a sweet bitch at one of my really good friends from my school. Ashley's zero.

Chrissy: 35:56

150 calories.

Paul: 35:58

I don't know.

Chrissy: 35:58

$7.50 is how much? I didn't even put the price. I didn't

Craig: 36:04

even Oh. Price.

Chrissy: 36:06

My god. That's $11.19.

Craig: 36:09

I'm a I'm a 10. Dude, this is cheaper than the regular Moscato, isn't it?

Chrissy: 36:14

It looks

Craig: 36:14

good. Isn't this cheaper than the blue bottle?

Chrissy: 36:17

Oh, way cheaper.

Craig: 36:18

What the fuck? Dibs. Dibs. Dibs.

Chrissy: 36:23

Yeah. That's like 20 some dollars a total. This is like 11.

Craig: 36:27

It's even better? Fucking winning. Dibs. Dibs. Fucking winning.

Craig: 36:35

Flip a coin. I don't need to flip a coin. No. You do because I won't want it. No.

Craig: 36:39

Fuck you. I'm the guest. You're the fucking host. Watch. Wait.

Craig: 36:43

I don't get a I don't get a I don't get a go away present? Alright. Number one one through 10. You got one chance. Closest one.

Craig: 36:50

Who picks The number, Mike? I already picked the number. Oh, you already picked it? Yeah. Yeah.

Craig: 36:54

That's not fair. Oh, You know you had to dress that fucking mustache? Hell no. No. You you You were in a twist of My mustache, I guess.

Craig: 37:00

You already know I can pick your number. Dash or Dashly or whatever they call last time. Be from We're like a villain. What's that fucker? You're like twisting your mustache.

Chrissy: 37:11

Fancy whiplash.

Craig: 37:12

No. No. It's a it's snidely. It's a fucker from Sonic. Sonic?

Craig: 37:17

Yeah. Have you ever restaurant? Who wants Sonic? The game. Five?

Craig: 37:21

Yes. Sonic the Hedgehog. Him? Sonic the Hedgehog.

Chrissy: 37:27

Oh my god.

Craig: 37:28

Hold on. Wait. Sonic. Hey.

Chrissy: 37:30

I just

Craig: 37:30

Someone pick a number for the bottle.

Chrissy: 37:32

And I just gotta pick.

Craig: 37:33

You can't pick it. Fuck that. I need to pick it. If it's my bottle, I need to pick

Chrissy: 37:37

it. What's the number?

Craig: 37:40

8? 13. It's one through 10 winner. One through 10. You said you're 14.

Craig: 37:47

You never said one through 10. I'm just kidding. She did.

Chrissy: 37:50

Okay. We'll start over.

Craig: 37:51

No. No. You said winner. Fuck you. This is my bottle.

Craig: 37:56

I called it. Alright. I can see. I can see. I I I am I really dollars,

Chrissy: 38:04

you guys.

Craig: 38:05

Was 7.

Paul: 38:06

It was the

Craig: 38:06

number was 7. Well, I still would've won.

Chrissy: 38:08

Would've won anyway.

Craig: 38:09

Yep. No. Because I would've picked 7 if I didn't know. Oh, no. 13 is my lucky number.

Craig: 38:13

You wouldn't have 13 is my

Chrissy: 38:15

lucky number.

Craig: 38:15

It's mine. I was born on the I was born on the thirteenth. Were you?

Paul: 38:18

Yeah. What?

Craig: 38:19

Thir August thirteenth. 1957. Another good year for Chevy's.

Chrissy: 38:24

With Lydia. Oh, no. She's September 3.

Craig: 38:26

Oh my god. So good. It's gonna be better now that you won that fucker, isn't it? Jesus. You want a drink?

Craig: 38:33

It's even better. No. I'll split

Paul: 38:34

a drink.

Craig: 38:35

Alright. Alright. Yeah. So Can I get another just love life? Can I get another one more rest?

Chrissy: 38:39

Gonna go to your love life?

Craig: 38:40

No. We're not talking about love life.

Chrissy: 38:41

Yes. Yes.

Craig: 38:42

Nobody loves love life.

Chrissy: 38:44

Nope. Well, you know you don't.

Craig: 38:46

Alright. Let's go. Fuck. Bring it on.

Chrissy: 38:48

Married twice. Yay. First time, twelve years.

Craig: 38:51

Yep. Suck it. No kids. Don't let it spill, you fucker. I give up.

Craig: 38:56

Alright. Go. Alright,

Paul: 38:59

Farn. You

Craig: 38:59

can talk.

Chrissy: 38:59

First time no kids twelve year marriage.

Craig: 39:01

She

Chrissy: 39:02

why did that end?

Craig: 39:04

She's a Why am I first married yet? Yes. Oh, we were She just She was 19. I was 21.

Chrissy: 39:09

When you got married?

Craig: 39:10

Too young. It was six months after I got back from my mission.

Chrissy: 39:13

Agreement? Like, we both

Craig: 39:15

No. No. It sounded like violent. I probably things It got you the first time. It got violent.

Craig: 39:20

It no. The first one. It I'm not violent, but she was It sounded like she'd angry. We we every time we moved, everything was really good. Yeah.

Craig: 39:29

Everything was good. She didn't like having to do with horses. Nothing to do with motorcycles.

Chrissy: 39:35

So completely different horse.

Craig: 39:36

Everything was like, everything you loved, she's like, oh, I don't like that. I don't like this. But it wasn't

Chrissy: 39:41

that way in the beginning.

Craig: 39:42

In the beginning, it was just, you know, the two of us K. And no kids. No enough Well, for two of yeah, there was that, but it was just you were young. And it just we just fell apart.

Paul: 39:54

And

Chrissy: 39:54

But twelve years

Craig: 39:55

is a kind of a

Chrissy: 39:56

long marriage.

Craig: 39:56

If it wasn't for I guarantee it would have been a lot sooner had we not moved so much. Okay. And and then, you know, and she tried. She got the work she worked at the places I worked. And so but I finally came home one day and said that's it.

Chrissy: 40:09

Did you enjoy marriage? Obviously, you did it twice.

Craig: 40:13

Yeah. No. I I enjoyed I enjoyed I missed Do you think

Chrissy: 40:16

that you would do it again?

Craig: 40:17

I wouldn't get married again.

Chrissy: 40:18

Never?

Craig: 40:19

No. Never. Never.

Chrissy: 40:21

He's never. I would never. Never.

Paul: 40:23

Never have

Craig: 40:24

I ever. I never would. Tell my kids. Tell me why. Of marriage.

Craig: 40:27

The institution of marriage. Right here. Listen. You're gonna learn Yeah.

Chrissy: 40:32

He wouldn't heard it yet.

Craig: 40:33

I don't even need to. He already knows. So look at

Chrissy: 40:36

good news.

Craig: 40:36

The Been there, done that. So listen listen, Linda. The institution of of marriage, I think if two people come I think on a social on a social network, it's wrong. Right. We we we do it for the wrong reasons.

Craig: 40:53

Right. I think if two people all of a sudden decide they wanna spend a 100% of their time together, they're clicking. Yep. Yeah. If you wanna bind it with a ring

Chrissy: 41:00

and give it twice.

Craig: 41:01

I did it twice because I'm an idiot. Yep. You you fucked up the second time. First time, you didn't know. Second time.

Craig: 41:06

Better. But I think I think that you can I think you can people that are really good at at it and successful at it, go ahead? Now you're good. They have the

Chrissy: 41:17

whole bottle in it.

Craig: 41:18

I was just helping him. I Well think it's a good thing. I don't think I it's thing. I'm not going there. I think that the institution of marriage, if it's institutionalized But this for is certain reasons, for cultural reasons, or or or people's expectations is wrong.

Craig: 41:34

I think if you wanna do it

Chrissy: 41:36

If you wanna do it And

Craig: 41:37

you wanna be together and you be together and you do it, then I think yeah. But I think there's cultural things. Do you think young people.

Chrissy: 41:44

So eat too easy?

Craig: 41:47

No. Because I know people that have been fucked because of their divorce.

Paul: 41:50

But I

Craig: 41:51

think sorry. Apologize. Really do. I didn't see a kid. Who wants to listen?

Craig: 41:56

We're not getting we're not getting warned.

Chrissy: 41:58

Do you think that you've been divorced, married, and divorced twice?

Craig: 42:04

I got lucky.

Chrissy: 42:05

So easy.

Craig: 42:06

No. I Is that what you like No. I work Was

Chrissy: 42:09

this a hard decision on both marriages

Craig: 42:12

to get divorced? The first one, no. No. The second one

Chrissy: 42:17

because now you have a kid.

Craig: 42:18

The second one was How old

Chrissy: 42:20

was Hannah when you got divorced?

Craig: 42:22

10.

Chrissy: 42:23

So she was pretty young.

Craig: 42:25

Yep. And it changed, but it forced it forced me to do certain things that, I mean, I wouldn't get a better job. You know? Blah blah.

Chrissy: 42:33

But it wasn't because of marriage. It was because of him.

Craig: 42:35

But is it? Yeah. It was because of his daughter. And my daughter. Is it fifty fifty?

Craig: 42:41

What? Marriage. No. Alright. That's all it No.

Craig: 42:46

But I think relationship I but I think it I think relationships can be. I think I think the actual marriage Should it be, yes. But when it comes to divorce or when fucking divorce happens That's a bad deal. I got Weird. Got Weird.

Craig: 43:01

Lucky. Weird. Both of my both of never guessed because I never

Chrissy: 43:06

whole perspective on marriage changed when your mom and dad almost got divorced.

Craig: 43:11

No. Both of them Both of them before that. Of my divorces. I never wanted to get married. I did better.

Chrissy: 43:18

Told me one time, when I find the right girl, I have so much money put away for the biggest ring ever. You told me this.

Craig: 43:25

One time. Like Now you're a dumb cunt. Yeah. Wait. Wait.

Craig: 43:30

Wait. Wait. Wait. Hey. Alright.

Craig: 43:33

Wait for what? I said I would buy her the ring. I didn't say I would marry her. Shit with him. It's legit.

Craig: 43:38

It's legit. It's totally legit. I knew that when I first met him and his brother. Anything that comes out their mouth is fucking legit, man. Not even close.

Craig: 43:48

But, you know, he might wanna add a little bullshit. Once in a while to sweeten the deal, but

Chrissy: 43:54

There's no bullshit right now.

Craig: 43:55

No. It's all real. Yeah. Didn't he didn't think it was. Didn't think it was real.

Craig: 44:02

Oh, no. No. I knew it was real.

Paul: 44:03

Was the

Craig: 44:03

first time I met you. First time I met you, I knew your bro yours and your brother are just fucking straight up legit. Shooters.

Chrissy: 44:10

So Alright. We're just gonna keep rolling then.

Craig: 44:13

Yep. That's mess we're here.

Chrissy: 44:15

Once married to one lady, and then you were married to Hannah's mom. How long was the marriage to Hannah's mom? Was that longer than

Craig: 44:22

the mom? Well, it'd be ninety let's see if she was born in '98. '94, '95 to 02/2010. It's when

Paul: 44:32

I bought

Craig: 44:32

my bike. Years.

Chrissy: 44:33

Yeah. Okay. So when you Hannah just recently, in the last few years, got married

Craig: 44:37

And divorced.

Chrissy: 44:38

Was what?

Craig: 44:39

But she's divorced.

Chrissy: 44:41

She is not.

Craig: 44:42

Yep. Yep. How long was she married?

Chrissy: 44:44

Shut the fuck

Craig: 44:45

up. Didn't even that. Oh, you didn't. Yeah. It's not really out there, but yeah.

Craig: 44:48

No. I didn't

Chrissy: 44:49

know that.

Craig: 44:50

She got married.

Chrissy: 44:51

I was just gonna say, what kind of advice did you give her? Because early on,

Craig: 44:55

you know? And and I told her, I said, why why did you why did you get married? She says, well, I was living in Seattle. I didn't have I wanted to get I wanted to be able to live on base with him until I got into school, so in all we did that. We had to married.

Chrissy: 45:10

Like Renee.

Craig: 45:11

Right. Yeah. I already got married

Paul: 45:12

to get

Craig: 45:13

to live on base.

Paul: 45:14

To live

Craig: 45:14

on base. And then Get them Bigger paycheck. Right. And all that. More.

Craig: 45:18

Yep. And so then, well, you know, then when it came time for her to pick schools and she picked, you know What did they want? They had thought no. They had thought that they were gonna both end up back in in Washington. She wanted to go to Washington is where she was hoping

Chrissy: 45:34

to get. Like Washington DC or Seattle?

Craig: 45:36

State. For why? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Craig: 45:38

She she thought she was gonna be able to get in living there already. Living there, so she was trying to get in there. Gotcha. And he's from there. Oh, he got he transferred.

Craig: 45:46

Yeah. That was kind of their plan. Yep. But it wasn't working out. It didn't work that way.

Craig: 45:50

So then after so then they were having trouble, and they were, like, blaming each other. You're you're not available for me. I'm not available for you. And she called me she called me up, and we we talked. And she's I'm sure she talked to her mom and to her friends and

Paul: 46:04

Blame game. And so she

Craig: 46:05

they she did. And so

Chrissy: 46:07

So she decided or they decided?

Craig: 46:09

I think they decided, but but maybe more her. I only friendship. I only hear her side. So

Chrissy: 46:14

Yeah.

Craig: 46:15

But he called me up and said, hey. This is happening. And he says they had bought a house, or he had bought one on the v he had bought a house on the VA loan. And where? So in Omaha.

Chrissy: 46:24

In Nebraska.

Craig: 46:25

Because the the rent rent there is, like, $3 and the mortgage is a

Chrissy: 46:29

lot cheaper

Craig: 46:30

lot cheaper than that. Insane. So so the mortgage is cheaper than that. And I said, let me let me see what I can do. So I put something together, and then I bought the house with her.

Craig: 46:41

And she now own a house in Nebraska. Her and I both do. Well, I put her on the mortgage. She wasn't on the mortgage before, so I put her on

Paul: 46:48

the mortgage.

Craig: 46:49

So did you have to buy him out? He wanted just what he

Chrissy: 46:53

owed. That's fine.

Craig: 46:53

So that we just yeah. It was just basically a transfer.

Chrissy: 46:56

He didn't wanna make a profit.

Craig: 46:57

Nope. He just said, nope. This is what

Chrissy: 46:59

I have into it. Buy me out.

Craig: 47:00

Yeah. I want I need to just get out from

Paul: 47:01

my loan.

Craig: 47:02

Which is nice.

Chrissy: 47:02

Which is nice.

Craig: 47:03

Yeah. It was very cool. Dick about it. It could've been. Yeah.

Craig: 47:05

And so it took us a long because wanna call it a and the mortgage company didn't understand her financial situation. Yeah. She's making 30 something thousand a year, but they were calling it a scholarship on paper, but it's not. It's a stipend. So they once they finally got it together, we were able to put the deal to debt together.

Craig: 47:23

And so now I'm I actually got my driver's license because they don't have to pay taxes on Social Security in in Nebraska, so I might become a resident There you go. Nebraska.

Chrissy: 47:34

So Sweet.

Craig: 47:35

So that was that. So my advice to her and to anybody is open your eyes wider than you think. Yeah. If you think you're wide open, be wider. And and

Chrissy: 47:47

How old was she at that time?

Craig: 47:49

20 I still I think she's 27. Wow. She's 27 now. So she was probably 24.

Chrissy: 47:55

Yeah. I just think you should be 30.

Craig: 47:57

Yeah. I I At least 30 for what?

Paul: 48:00

Think men for men

Craig: 48:02

should be 40. Do you

Chrissy: 48:03

I say at

Craig: 48:04

least

Chrissy: 48:04

30 for Honestly,

Craig: 48:07

this is where I stand. Yep. Where do you stand?

Chrissy: 48:10

We know.

Craig: 48:11

Listen, I really wanna hear. Listen, Linda. Okay. When you are fucking born, you should all be fucking cut off, and you should be like Wait. What are we talking about?

Craig: 48:22

Cutting off what? Like, you shouldn't be able to have a kid. Oh. And until like, you should married? You So you wanna you wanna staple it.

Craig: 48:31

Yeah. Every staple. Socialist. Every every every fucking male who is born should be a A staple. Had vasectomy.

Craig: 48:39

A vasectomy? Wait. Listen. Hold on. Wait.

Craig: 48:42

Wait. And it's a vasectomy to where the point to where it can be reversed easily. Are you sure? 100%. Wait.

Craig: 48:49

Are you sure it can be reversed? I don't know. I don't know and I don't give a fuck. Honestly, because guess what? Where Guess what?

Craig: 48:59

Oh, boy. Wait. What are we guessing about? Well, I'll tell you. Okay.

Craig: 49:03

You don't have to guess. Okay. There are You're gonna give me the answer. I'm gonna fucking spell it out for you. There are motherfuckers who are having garages built easier than fucking people having kids.

Chrissy: 49:16

Garages built?

Craig: 49:17

Like, you can Mike wants to hear about this. He needs a new garage. I do. I know. I want Explain garage it to Mike.

Craig: 49:24

Look at Mike. It is easier to fucking accidentally have a kid than it is to try to get a fucking shed built. Like, I tried. I Oh, now I see. Now now I get it.

Chrissy: 49:36

We went the long way

Craig: 49:37

around. Right. Right. Right. Not not me.

Craig: 49:40

Well, I don't give a fuck you. I'm gonna go if I want a garage built, I'm gonna have the garage built. Am I? If if I would've known what I know now, I would've built the fucking garage because that motherfucker didn't measure shit. And I could've fucking had the garage at once.

Craig: 49:55

But do you have any kids? No. Oh, then you did right. Never been married. Then you were smart.

Craig: 49:59

You built the garage first.

Chrissy: 50:01

That's a vasectomy, by the way.

Craig: 50:03

Yeah. Yeah. Can't have So he's so he's he's living what he preaches.

Chrissy: 50:07

But that

Craig: 50:07

he admirable. 100%. I I speak the fucking truth about it. It's your reality.

Chrissy: 50:13

Fact that he does do that because he goes into relationships with Yeah. Girls with women, girls, women, seeing, I'm never gonna have your kid

Craig: 50:24

because I

Chrissy: 50:24

can't now, and I'm never gonna marry you because I don't believe in it. I don't believe in that.

Craig: 50:31

I am I I have

Chrissy: 50:32

to think myself is

Craig: 50:34

Ben upfront.

Chrissy: 50:35

You're now 42 years old, and and I don't know if you even care about this, Polly, or not, but I do. Women now that are your age brackets.

Craig: 50:45

Are just having kids.

Chrissy: 50:47

Well, no. They pretty much all have kids.

Craig: 50:49

Yeah. You ain't gonna meet a girl unless Renee. Renee. Who can't have kids? But you're gonna you're not gonna meet a woman

Chrissy: 50:57

Not. Unless you're gonna date a high schooler.

Craig: 51:00

Right. Yes. I ain't about it.

Chrissy: 51:02

But I can't

Craig: 51:03

fucking stand the fucking tone of her voice.

Chrissy: 51:07

Anyway But I'm this is a serious conversation, though.

Craig: 51:10

Yeah. Alright.

Chrissy: 51:13

That is not gonna they're gonna all it's gonna be the very, very, very rare woman in your age bracket now that's gonna say, he's I'm gonna make him change his mind.

Craig: 51:28

I see where you're going. See where you're going.

Chrissy: 51:31

He's gonna change his mind, and they're gonna put all of this time and all of this effort See? Into this relationship

Craig: 51:38

And that's

Chrissy: 51:39

And you're not gonna change.

Craig: 51:40

You're not I've already said that.

Chrissy: 51:42

And I love that you do say that.

Craig: 51:44

Even because

Chrissy: 51:44

you don't bullshit people.

Craig: 51:46

So like

Chrissy: 51:46

Or women.

Craig: 51:47

Like Britney. Right?

Chrissy: 51:48

Yes. Talked Good example. Was she married already? Because she has kids.

Craig: 51:52

She was married for like twenty some years.

Chrissy: 51:55

Oh, how fucking old is she?

Craig: 51:58

Five years younger than me.

Chrissy: 51:59

How was she married for twenty some years?

Craig: 52:01

She got married at like Very young. 19, something like But anyway, she we we we had a conversation, and she's like she's like, I don't wanna move in. I don't wanna change nothing, blah blah blah. She's like, I don't even wanna fucking hang out with you realistically or Do you have her number? Yeah.

Craig: 52:23

What Perfect.

Chrissy: 52:24

He saw on camera two weeks ago that she is his girlfriend.

Craig: 52:27

We are dating. Yes. Oh. Oh, sorry.

Chrissy: 52:30

That's his girlfriend.

Craig: 52:31

I was inferring maybe you could set me up because someone that doesn't wanna talk to me, someone that doesn't wanna hang out, someone that doesn't I'm in. But it's like it's like I I You were like Yeah. We should talk about that disaster, mom. I told her to on my double date we went on. I don't wanna get married.

Craig: 52:46

I can't believe you didn't bring that fucking shit up.

Chrissy: 52:48

Right here.

Craig: 52:49

Oh, yeah?

Chrissy: 52:49

Oh, yeah.

Craig: 52:50

It is Taylor. Next next conversation topic.

Chrissy: 52:54

Get to it.

Craig: 52:55

But, yeah, it's like You ready?

Chrissy: 52:56

Well, let's get to that. It's Taylor.

Craig: 52:59

Yeah. Okay. Great concert. Is it is it drink time yet? Oh, yeah.

Craig: 53:03

We have a Yeah. We need a taste of Jolly Rancher. Apple fucker. Let's do drinks

Chrissy: 53:08

because Shannon's gonna wait.

Craig: 53:10

Shannon, you gotta step into the camera. Are we talking taking too long here? Little hey.

Chrissy: 53:14

Okay. So Apple

Craig: 53:15

Little brown apple. Little more this way.

Chrissy: 53:18

Apple jelly roll.

Paul: 53:20

That is for jelly roll.

Craig: 53:22

Oh, like the candy? Oh my god. We are gonna brace on this. Alright. Wait.

Craig: 53:25

Wait a minute. Get rid of the straw. Fucking take it out.

Chrissy: 53:30

You get the crooked straw.

Craig: 53:31

Yeah. It's alright. I got a crooked He did too. It happens with old age, dude. Really?

Craig: 53:38

You know what I need? I need a dumbbell to straighten it out. I gotta get a dumbbell. I that's why I would get a dumbbell to take it straight. Yeah.

Craig: 53:48

It'd be way better ish for you. Take a banana right out of it. Yeah. You can The banana with a twist. Rock dead.

Craig: 53:54

Alright. Wait. Woah. Wait. Well, we're gonna taste it.

Craig: 53:58

It's a Jolly Rancher. I wanna see. Gotta tell him first.

Chrissy: 54:02

I know.

Paul: 54:03

I know.

Craig: 54:03

I wanna I wanna taste it. Shut up. Oh, fine. Fuck off. Fuck.

Craig: 54:07

Shit.

Chrissy: 54:08

Fuck. Apple. Jolly Rancher. It's crown apple, so it's whiskey.

Craig: 54:13

Right on. Fuck. Smells like

Chrissy: 54:15

all we do. Baja blast. Baja

Craig: 54:18

blast. Wait. What's Baja blast? No. I have no idea.

Craig: 54:21

I do not know what a Baja blast. You're like 80 years old. I do not know what a Baja blast is. I don't know what the fuck Baja blast is. I know where Baja is.

Craig: 54:32

That's a party town. I'm going on. Are ready?

Chrissy: 54:34

Mosquitoes.

Craig: 54:34

Are you ready?

Chrissy: 54:35

I'm ready.

Craig: 54:36

No. Hey. Hold on. I want I want a sip just to see what it tastes like. You already did that.

Craig: 54:42

No. I didn't get a sip. It's all over your fucking mustache. I lift this. Look at it.

Craig: 54:47

It's the same fucking exact Go ahead. Go ahead. Get it lower than mine. That's fine. You need a fucking Yeah.

Craig: 54:54

Whatever. You ready? You wanna take a sip? No. Take a sip.

Craig: 54:57

I don't need

Paul: 54:58

a sip.

Craig: 54:58

I already sipped it. Oh, you already sipped it. You sipped it. I'm I'm sipping. Sip.

Craig: 55:03

I'm I'm sipping way in front way ahead of you because you're fucking Are you rolling your jaw so much. Are we gonna do it? Wait. You gonna are you gonna do one of this? Can you Yeah.

Craig: 55:12

That's what I need. Filter it. Yeah. And and will it all build You get half of it in your mustache. Are we gonna clink and before I can clink and drink or anything?

Craig: 55:21

It and drink it. I know. I do a I do a I know. I do a tap and then a drop. Oh, you want wait.

Craig: 55:27

However you wanna do this one. Let's do clink and drink. Click. So how to Clink

Chrissy: 55:31

and drink. First. They haven't even tried it. Oh. Are you gonna drink the whole thing, you idiots?

Craig: 55:39

That was that

Chrissy: 55:40

was, like, pretty pretty even.

Craig: 55:43

But I want. But I want. Well, you had less than yours. Oh, what? You sipped it.

Craig: 55:49

You had to sip it first.

Chrissy: 55:50

I just want less. Less.

Craig: 55:53

Yeah. It's because it was all in my mustache. It's still dripping. Yeah. You're like sucking out?

Craig: 55:58

No. I I'm

Paul: 55:59

in there.

Craig: 55:59

No. My god. Oh my god. I just had a alright. You're fine, princess.

Craig: 56:06

You're fast. It off.

Paul: 56:07

I have

Chrissy: 56:07

two questions.

Craig: 56:08

No. We're not. Yes. We are. Alright.

Craig: 56:11

Thatshit.com. Alright. Go for it.

Chrissy: 56:13

So dirt ball or not because that is your nickname. We're

Craig: 56:16

gonna scare you. By dog. I'm a not.

Chrissy: 56:19

You're not?

Craig: 56:20

No. I'm an angle.

Chrissy: 56:21

Ever picked up a hooker at a casino or a truck

Paul: 56:23

stop? Have

Craig: 56:26

I ever picked up a I never had to pick up a hooker. I just paid for it.

Chrissy: 56:30

No. You've actually bought a hooker?

Craig: 56:32

No. I did not.

Chrissy: 56:32

Have you?

Craig: 56:33

No. Never ever at

Chrissy: 56:35

a truck stop or

Craig: 56:36

a casino? I I've never been at a truck stop long enough to fucking deal with it. We Oh, I had

Chrissy: 56:42

there at the

Craig: 56:42

night? Because,

Chrissy: 56:43

like, the. No.

Paul: 56:44

I know.

Craig: 56:44

Know. Know.

Chrissy: 56:46

Know. Know. I dad can too.

Craig: 56:49

Yeah. I know.

Paul: 56:49

My dad

Craig: 56:50

us to

Chrissy: 56:51

Oh, yeah. Never paid for one?

Craig: 56:53

No. SS sends us

Chrissy: 56:54

paid for sex anyway?

Craig: 56:55

No. Never. Not even. What what it what it that that looks like an anvil. It is an anvil.

Craig: 57:02

I feel

Chrissy: 57:03

like Have you ever been in a bar fight and got kicked out?

Craig: 57:06

Fuck. Yeah.

Chrissy: 57:07

Have you?

Craig: 57:08

Oh, yeah. You have? Where?

Paul: 57:11

Because I

Craig: 57:11

don't see you as a fighter. Serums.

Chrissy: 57:13

Oh, I do remember

Craig: 57:15

that. Sean

Chrissy: 57:16

got his ass

Craig: 57:16

kicked that night. Well, it was three of us for seven guys.

Chrissy: 57:20

It was a bike club too.

Craig: 57:21

And yet, BPM. BPM. Yeah. I do remember that.

Chrissy: 57:25

Fox. I remember that.

Craig: 57:26

It was a shifty fucking. Do remember that. Were I know. We were on the dance floor having fun. You

Chrissy: 57:33

guys were just

Craig: 57:34

And then Sean and Paul. And then, like, it was like they came out of the side because we were dancing. I guess with their women, which We didn't didn't know. They didn't fucking know. They didn't

Chrissy: 57:46

guys ever

Craig: 57:47

know. They just wanna fight. Right. They don't give a fuck. They're just looking for something.

Craig: 57:51

They're looking something. They didn't give a shit when you were dancing with them.

Chrissy: 57:55

And these are good looking

Craig: 57:57

boys. It was it was three of us, and we were dancing

Chrissy: 58:00

Who was the third?

Craig: 58:02

Sean's buddy, Ryan Wilson.

Chrissy: 58:04

Okay.

Craig: 58:04

We were just dancing on the floor, and then all of a sudden, they came up, and it was seven of them, three of us, and it was like fucking wham, and then I'm like,

Chrissy: 58:13

alright. Sean ended up in the hospital.

Craig: 58:15

No. He just we

Chrissy: 58:17

went to Well, I thought Sean ended up in the hospital.

Craig: 58:20

No. We went to the hospital to get it checked out because he fucking had a black eye or whatever, or like a collapsed clavicle, whatever it is. Yeah. So and I'm like, what the fuck? I'm like, I'm not gonna fucking try to fight seven dudes on Even on my best day.

Chrissy: 58:39

I know.

Craig: 58:40

And maybe I should've. I don't fucking know.

Chrissy: 58:44

But Well,

Craig: 58:45

you didn't just take an ass kicking, did you? I didn't even Kind of. I didn't even hit Sean Sean was the only one that got hit. It was a one punch, and then it was over. And was it.

Craig: 58:54

Oh, got it. It kinda That's like, it the the bouncer stepped in.

Chrissy: 58:58

Because everyone jumps in.

Craig: 58:59

Yeah. Yeah. And it kinda separated. It's like One of the things you can do is if you hit if you hit first and you hit somebody good and they crack their head open and die,

Chrissy: 59:08

you Right.

Craig: 59:08

Fuck. Right. Oh, oh, so you I've I got three buddies that have been to jail. So And and for because of injury on because they threw even though they were protecting themselves Right. In a hundred first fucking punch.

Craig: 59:21

And now with cameras everywhere. 100%. Get this.

Chrissy: 59:24

Cameras are everywhere.

Craig: 59:25

So You're better off pulling a gun. So Yes. Fucking get the fuck out of here and then take that charge. Three three years get so get this. Three years before this happened, I had a buddy.

Craig: 59:35

His name was cowboy. I met him in fucking South Dakota. Right? Mhmm. And same same exact thing.

Craig: 59:42

This kid came up, fucking threatened him, fucking swung at him. He fucking grabbed his shirt, hit him in the face. He went down, and that was it. And he He died. He died.

Craig: 59:53

Yep. And he had like some he had like some cancer shit. Thing. He served seven years Yeah. Because of that.

Paul: 01:00:00

Because of it.

Craig: 01:00:01

Yeah. Involuntary manslaughter. Yep. Not his fault. Nope.

Craig: 01:00:05

It it was he didn't even provoke the fucking fight. The dude Right. Even matter. Yeah. Exactly.

Craig: 01:00:11

So it's like No.

Chrissy: 01:00:13

What do you do? You can be protected.

Craig: 01:00:14

Do you do you want us You are better off. Literally. The

Chrissy: 01:00:17

times people break into your fucking home and you shoot them because you're scared for your life and people have gone to jail.

Craig: 01:00:25

So so like, I honestly, I Truck driving, I have a lot of time on my hands. I watch a lot of YouTube.

Chrissy: 01:00:33

While he's driving down the road.

Craig: 01:00:35

I and will listen whatever. What do you wanna call it? But anyway, I carry guns. Right? I I start listening to this shit, and it's like

Chrissy: 01:00:45

It's crazy.

Craig: 01:00:46

If someone breaks into your house I'm and shoot steals shit, don't you're nine times out of 10, you're the one who's going to jail. No. No. Doesn't matter.

Chrissy: 01:00:55

You can steal my shit. That's fine. But if my life if I feel like my life is

Craig: 01:00:59

in danger,

Chrissy: 01:01:00

but as a woman, I'm

Craig: 01:01:03

That is

Chrissy: 01:01:04

They consider me more defenseless than what you would be.

Craig: 01:01:07

I guarantee you coming to my house, you're gonna do shit. And I don't want you're not invited. My docs. You're not invited. I'm shooting you in the head.

Craig: 01:01:13

And if I gotta go to jail for it, I'll be fine. The thing is the thing They're is

Paul: 01:01:18

gonna paid.

Craig: 01:01:18

They're gonna die. The thing is is like I still get so scared. You're not if you're not fearing for your life in jail.

Chrissy: 01:01:26

It's how

Craig: 01:01:26

They put

Chrissy: 01:01:27

it into perspective.

Craig: 01:01:27

Right. They you they if they're they like like, just say it like this. Yeah. Right? Real quick.

Craig: 01:01:32

Right? They're sealing your TV. They're pulling it off the wall. Right? Right.

Craig: 01:01:36

Yep. And then you're like, boom boom. You shoot the motherfucker. Right? You're probably the one who's going to jail, and you're probably gonna be fucking At 70 years old, and I get free health care and a TV.

Paul: 01:01:49

TV, though.

Craig: 01:01:49

Yeah. I'll be fine. I don't I mean No. Mean I I understand what you're saying. I'm still shooting the fucker.

Craig: 01:01:55

Right. I'm still shooting them. I I'm not gonna avoid I'm not gonna avoid a conflict if someone invades my space. And if I under if I go From in jail from what I've known and what I've watched, if someone walks into my house and they're gonna steal my TV, and I've got them at gunpoint and they're stealing my TV. Them?

Craig: 01:02:12

No. I'm gonna let them take my fucking TV fucking fuck.

Paul: 01:02:15

I will

Craig: 01:02:15

I will let them walk out the fucking door with my TV.

Chrissy: 01:02:18

No. I will too.

Paul: 01:02:19

Shoot them in the foot.

Craig: 01:02:20

It's under a thousand dollars. It's they You're the one who's going to jail. It's not if you shoot him in the foot. Yes. You are.

Craig: 01:02:27

Because they took a step towards you and you felt threatened. Nope. 100 saying. They don't have a gun. You're going to jail.

Craig: 01:02:33

No. He's gonna throw my TV at me. No. 100%. Carrying it.

Craig: 01:02:36

100%. You're going to jail. No. 100%.

Paul: 01:02:38

You're going

Craig: 01:02:39

hit with a Samsung? Take my TV. Do you live in Minnesota? Do you have a fucking No.

Paul: 01:02:43

I don't

Craig: 01:02:44

live in Minnesota. That's why. Where I live where I live.

Chrissy: 01:02:46

Democratic state. Alright.

Craig: 01:02:48

I live. Sorry. Might be safe. Now you might be safe.

Chrissy: 01:02:51

I'm balls is, you're going to jail.

Craig: 01:02:53

Riley. Riley. Riley. Yes. That guy is a fucking Riley.

Craig: 01:02:57

Ass whack.

Chrissy: 01:02:59

Worry. Go to church drunk.

Craig: 01:03:00

Yes. Come on. Yes. Yes. How recent?

Craig: 01:03:06

I don't know. That ain't the question if you got to know it. Yes.

Chrissy: 01:03:10

Yes. You have?

Craig: 01:03:12

Yes. Who hasn't? I was skiing in I was skiing in Look at this beard. He is obviously skiing Lakes. In

Chrissy: 01:03:20

Yeah.

Craig: 01:03:20

It was a Catholic church. Yes. And the preacher, we've been out partying church. We've been out partying all night. Did he call you out?

Craig: 01:03:28

My parents told me I had to go to church. K. I said, okay. Fine. So I started going to Catholic church because I'd go on Saturday night.

Chrissy: 01:03:33

Yes.

Craig: 01:03:34

And then so, anyways, we're up skiing, and I was skiing with these folks. You're And they said they said, hey. We got it's Easter. It was Easter Sunday. Yeah.

Craig: 01:03:40

We gotta go to church before we ski. I'm like, yeah. Yeah. I'll go. Fine.

Craig: 01:03:43

Who does it? Who goes to church? My buddy and I were hammered the night before. Mhmm. Every We were hammered that morning.

Craig: 01:03:49

We get there, all of sudden, the preacher calls me up. The priest calls me up and wants me to hold the tray when they're doing the old Yeah. Eating them bread and shit. Oh, yeah. The bread's hanging out.

Craig: 01:03:58

I'm sitting there hammered, shaking. Why were you why were you why were you, like, a service boy or whatever they call me out of the crowd. You thought I was Out of out of the crowd? Because it was a ski town. We're all out there.

Craig: 01:04:12

Oh, no. It was just a random Easter Sunday church thing. That is aggressive. Yeah. That's aggressive.

Craig: 01:04:18

But I but my parents, when I was a teenager

Chrissy: 01:04:22

Yeah.

Craig: 01:04:22

Didn't say no. You gotta go to church. You gotta go to church. Yeah. I said, fine.

Craig: 01:04:26

I started going with my buddies to Catholic church on Saturday night. And then on Sunday party. Here I am, you know, driving around my Mustang going down to the beach. Fox body just like crap. And and they couldn't say anything because they they're the ones that said Yeah.

Craig: 01:04:42

Yeah. Said, well, I'm picking the church. Church. Yeah.

Chrissy: 01:04:45

Last story. Alright.

Craig: 01:04:46

No. Not

Chrissy: 01:04:46

lie. James Taylor concert.

Craig: 01:04:49

Oh. So fucking funny.

Chrissy: 01:04:51

So Mike and I and Craig and his Date. Date for the night, we decided that because we love James Taylor. Yeah. Love his music. Like, he's 71.

Craig: 01:05:02

Great. And Bonnie Rae

Chrissy: 01:05:03

to Bonnie Rae

Craig: 01:05:04

an awesome college.

Chrissy: 01:05:05

So we went to the Target Center, or was

Craig: 01:05:07

it No.

Chrissy: 01:05:07

Xcel. Xcel.

Craig: 01:05:08

Yeah. Downtown?

Chrissy: 01:05:09

We were at Holiday Inn.

Craig: 01:05:11

Yep. Yep.

Chrissy: 01:05:11

And so he had a room and brought a date. Yep. Not a stranger.

Craig: 01:05:16

Someone No. No.

Chrissy: 01:05:17

Known for a while and

Craig: 01:05:18

had Oh, yeah. With benefits. Yep. Friends with benefits. Yeah.

Craig: 01:05:20

This is the best friend.

Chrissy: 01:05:21

Chick and, like, we Mike and I met up with them there because they had a whole

Craig: 01:05:26

We met at at Mancini's. Mancini's. Oh. Yeah. Love Mancini's.

Chrissy: 01:05:30

Yeah. Yeah.

Craig: 01:05:30

And we got there a little bit ahead of you and all playing full time. So she was gigs? Yes. Eggs and beers. Teacher?

Craig: 01:05:37

She was a administrator.

Chrissy: 01:05:39

At the Princeton Pub

Craig: 01:05:40

No. But she was at Princeton? She was in no. She was up north.

Paul: 01:05:44

Okay. So not Big leagues.

Craig: 01:05:46

So anyhow, you

Chrissy: 01:05:48

why don't you tell the story?

Craig: 01:05:49

Well, so we're sitting there, and and we're sitting there Funny stuff. Before they even got there, she's kinda doing the old knot thing. I And don't know if she's on drugs or whatever, but Which one? Your girlfriend's here? But we've been Oh, yeah.

Craig: 01:06:02

Was this your girlfriend? Was years. The last few times that we had gotten together, you know, I mean, all of sudden, she's, like, passing out and shit at night and stuff. And I'm like, so What's up? Yeah.

Craig: 01:06:14

I but I didn't know what was up. So then we get there, and all of a sudden, they show up, and and she's

Chrissy: 01:06:19

We're eating dinner.

Craig: 01:06:20

We're eating dinner. She's doing the little wing stuff. She's rubbing. Hair and shit. Well, rubbing.

Craig: 01:06:26

Risky. Yeah. She was risky.

Chrissy: 01:06:27

Oh, yeah.

Craig: 01:06:28

So she was like, then we get so then we go to the we go to the concert, and we get in, and all of a sudden then she's snoring. Just bounce walking to asleep. Lights off. Lights off. No.

Craig: 01:06:41

And we only had we had one drink a minute. But we only had, like, one drink at that Lights the fuck up. Fucking out. So she had either been Here and my dog. Had a bottle in the purse, she'd been fucking drinking bottle, and she's either an alcoholic or she had pills.

Craig: 01:06:57

Something. So On the bed. In front of shaker, and I go I go, you know what? You can go back to the room if you're gonna sleep. Right?

Craig: 01:07:06

You know? And then she starts telling him about, well, yeah, know in the morning, we're gonna go to breakfast here, and we're gonna do this. We're gonna do all this and all

Paul: 01:07:13

this. And

Craig: 01:07:13

I get back to the room. I'm like, no. We ain't doing none of that shit. Then I started I You can't even breathe. She drove.

Chrissy: 01:07:21

Drove. Through the whole concert.

Craig: 01:07:22

Yeah. She slept through the whole fucking So we get back to we get back to the room, and then

Chrissy: 01:07:26

James Taylor and Bonnie Rae.

Craig: 01:07:28

It was a great concert. I'm getting I'm getting ready then in the morning.

Chrissy: 01:07:31

Wait. Wait. Wait.

Craig: 01:07:32

I gotta go back. Alright. Go back.

Chrissy: 01:07:33

Because we're walking

Craig: 01:07:34

Hold back.

Chrissy: 01:07:35

Right. Leaving the concert.

Craig: 01:07:37

And she's

Chrissy: 01:07:38

And they're going to their hotel room.

Craig: 01:07:40

And you guys are going to your car.

Chrissy: 01:07:41

And we're going home. So we're going to our car and then home. She keeps trying to grab his hand and hold his hand. He's like

Craig: 01:07:48

From the big lead. Mario, don't touch it. Don't touch it. No. Don't touch it.

Chrissy: 01:07:53

Laughing so hard. He's like

Craig: 01:07:55

Fuck that.

Chrissy: 01:07:56

I'm like, oh, is he even gonna let her speed the

Craig: 01:07:58

whole No. Well, I realized, though, didn't let her sleep

Chrissy: 01:08:01

home. Right. She drove.

Craig: 01:08:02

She drove. Yes. Right? Because I

Paul: 01:08:04

on the bus.

Craig: 01:08:05

I know. I could've, but I'm

Chrissy: 01:08:06

like to get laid.

Craig: 01:08:07

But well, there was that. Every guy ever needed that. Every guy ever. Wait. I'm taking some I really did.

Craig: 01:08:14

Oh, I guarantee you did. So then so then we're getting in the car. So we get in the car. We're driving we're driving home, and I'm getting I'm like, alright. I gotta say something.

Craig: 01:08:23

Yep. But I said but I I started to say something.

Chrissy: 01:08:25

She wanted to, like, hang out with you the next day.

Craig: 01:08:27

I started to say something, and I'm like, now I gotta get closer to home so I can get a ride home. We're driving down, and we're going to Highway 10. We're going down the road. I'm like, oh, I'm pretty close. So I waited till we I can walk When we get to Elk River, I mean, I could ride in

Paul: 01:08:45

Elk River.

Craig: 01:08:45

Yeah. My I'm so pleased. So I said to her so I said to her, I said I can hop on the bus. I said, by the way, we're done. We're we're we're I just let you know right now, are not we are not gonna see each other again.

Craig: 01:09:00

Oh, have

Chrissy: 01:09:00

her again. Is she ever?

Craig: 01:09:02

Nope. Nope. Never? Nope. She called me on my birthday last year.

Craig: 01:09:05

She did? Okay. When did that time? When I still had the old number. Okay.

Craig: 01:09:09

Now I got the new number. I got her ticket right out my thing, but she called me on

Paul: 01:09:12

my birthday.

Craig: 01:09:13

I say I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. Yep. So then I get Goodbye.

Craig: 01:09:16

Yeah. Yeah. Friends with benefits is good. Yep. Very good bye.

Craig: 01:09:20

Yeah. So we had really Yeah. Was a time, though, where we were can have that. Yeah. You can have that.

Craig: 01:09:25

But but but that was, like, bizarre as fuck. Hey. Goodbye. Yeah. Okay.

Craig: 01:09:30

Bye. Alright. Love you. Bye.

Chrissy: 01:09:32

We are done here.

Craig: 01:09:34

No. We're not. Fuck that shit. No.

Chrissy: 01:09:36

Just for now. Okay.

Craig: 01:09:37

Just for

Chrissy: 01:09:38

now, we'll come back in a couple weeks with a new new guest.

Craig: 01:09:42

A new Craig?

Chrissy: 01:09:42

A new Craig.

Craig: 01:09:43

A new Craig. You can't fucking replace me. Well, we'll bring Craig Rosen out.

Paul: 01:09:48

I think you should

Craig: 01:09:49

FaceTime me.

Chrissy: 01:09:50

To have Craig Rosen.

Craig: 01:09:51

The beard. Yes. Gotta bring the beard. Now I'm getting somebody else's beard in here. Yeah.

Craig: 01:09:56

He's got he's got a beard like yours. I just trim mine for you guys. That's that's a big

Chrissy: 01:10:01

So if you're watching, listening, whatever, please like, comment, subscribe to beard booze and b s. We're on all the major podcasts and YouTube and Really? Yeah. Also, sick bastard streetwear.

Craig: 01:10:15

You wanna you wanna

Chrissy: 01:10:16

You can order online through them too and here at Frontier Lake.

Craig: 01:10:20

Yes. You're gonna show it. I'm ready. Yes. We should do it on camera.

Craig: 01:10:24

No. Shave your head to bottom. Okay. Bye. Peace out.

Craig: 01:10:29

Alright.