Beer, Booze & B.S. Podcast

But you never went off on your own either.I was 21 when I got pregnant- Okay.and 22 when I had Sam.Yes!My neighbor doesn't smoke weed and ILike, I was shit-faced last week and whatever and, uhAnd I was looking for support from him because I was just in pieces about David.That 1 No, all ofone year when- Oh, true.fucking Sean lived with me, my average credit card billLike I said, I met both of them in 1988, um, and they were both recently divorced, both rolling hard.Yeah, I've only done that half a dozen times maybe in my life where I've said shit fucked up like that.Blame it on me because no matter what, I can go fucking sit in jail.I don't give a fuck.He's like, "Your mom will be taken care of.I get $6,000 a month in pensions.She'll be just fine."Welcome to Episode 4 of, uh, Beer, Booze, and BS.I am here today with my beautiful niece, Marie Mack.Hi, everybody.And of course my buddy, Paulie- Oy, oy.is here with us again today, uh, co-hosting with me.Not really sure how this is all gonna go today 'cause we have a lot of, a lot of catching up to do- We do.a lot ofEven though she's been my niece for, through marriage- Shut up.however long, 20, 30 years now.Yep.Um, got to thinking in writing this script, I'm like, "I don't really know you."Yeah.Like, I know you but I don't really know you.So let's get started.Okay.Um, she is my niece through marriage.I was married to her uncle, and, um, Jim Bonoffh, and her dad was Steve Bonoffh.So that's how we are related.W- I don't even know this.Where were you born at, Marie?I was born in Robbinsdale.Okay.Um, at North Memorial.Okay.My mom worked there for 43 years, so she had all of us kids there.I was hospital she worked at.Yeah, yep, 43 years she was there.That's the hospital Jim died at.It is.Ugh.Yuck.Ugh.Hate that place.Yes, I know and I don't- Yeah, I did not know that.I had to go to a Robbinsdale Hospital for the first time last summer when my mom was in there.Oh.I'm, like, didn'tDid not wantI used to have full-blown panic attacks just driving by there after- Youhe died.Yes.Yeah.Like I remember one time Mike and I were out riding our motorcycles and I, like, d- I just realized where we were, that I had seen the hospital and I went- Right.full-blown panic attack.I had to pull over and, like, hyperventilating and stuff like that.But yeah, I hate that hospital.Uh, my dad was at Mercy when he passed away.Yep.Yeah.Yeah.And I was happy about that 'cause I didn't think I'd be able to go to North Memorial.Oh, okay.LikeI would've evenI wouldn't have thought about that.So anyway, w- uh, your mom and dad- Yep.um, were they married before they had you or d- did you come afterward?I came afterwards.They had been married for, I think, 6 or 7 years.Really?They got married when they were both 20.Okay.And I think my mom was 26 or 27 when she had me.Oh, wow.That's- Yeah.So they had a solid marriage for at least- Oh, no.It wasn't solid at all.There was nothing solid about it.I mean stayed together.They worked together.did, they did.My mom tried hard.Oh.Really hard.And so how old were you when they got divorced?I was 7.Okay.And why did they get divorced?Um, I mean, I decided today I was just gonna be brutally honest even if- No, that'sdoesn't sound nice.So, um, my dad just really struggled with addiction.Right.Um, he struggled with chemicals, he struggled with alcohol, and, you know, he had a lot of women on the side.Wow.And so it was a lot for my mom to go through.I think she said while they were together in their marriage, he went through treatment, like, 6 or 7 times.Holy shit.Really?Yeah.That's aggressive.So she definitely- Yeah.wanted to work out the marriage.I think my s- son holds the cake.I think it's 26 or 27 times.I didn't know that.Wow!Really?Yes.Holy fuck.Yeah.Yeah.So I, I don't know anyone that's gone through treatment more than Colt.No, I guess I don't either.ButThat's aggressive.Yeah.Well, whatever it takes, fuck.they, they really tried.Yeah.Yeah, they tried.I don't even know if it was treatment that worked 'cause clearly 26 times he knew the system.IHe had the skills and the tools he needed.And Shannon.Ugh.It was- That's what it was.I the, the- Treatment enough.good woman, you know.I don't know.I credit Shannon to helping him get sober.Um, so where did your relationship go, like, after the divorce and with your dad?Did you see him a lot or did he kinda just goYou know, he went-anywhere?kind of did his own thing.Um, the only times that we saw him was when he showed up and he didn'tYou know, he was supposed to show up all the time.I mean, I remember being little and waiting by the door, sitting by the phone.Yeah.And he'd just never show up.But, um, I knew that he loved me.Yeah.You know?And my mom was pretty open and upfront about the stuff that he was going through, as much as you can be with a child that age, I think.Yes.Um, so- You were 7 at that age?Mm-hmm.Holy fuck.That's gonnaDale.Yeah.By- Um, no.Dave and Mary were almost 3 years apart, so he'd have been 4.Also.Yep.And Michelle.And Michelle was born when I- She's the baby.Yeah.I remember them signing their divorce papers and me being in, like- Inoutside of the room holding Michelle, who was a newborn.Holy fuck.So, um, I kind ofMy uncles from my mom's side call me, um, the mother because I took care ofI'll into that.Yeah.Like, you're super motherly.Like, you are.You're alwa- that's why I'm honestly surprised you didn't go into nursing because you are so- Okay well, that's funny 'cause I've been debating about going back to school.But I just don't know if I could do it.School.Yeah, right?I mean, I hate school with a-burning, fiery passion.Who doesn't?But if I did go back, I would wanna do itI'd like to be an injectionist 'cause I've worked in the- Hmm.beauty industry my whole career.Oh!Yeah.So I thought if I did go back, I would just get my 2year nursing and then that way, I could do injectables and things like that.Oh!Well, sign me up.Yeah!Right?Sign up!Love to have somebody like that in the family.Well,I think Toni's, Megan is doingI don't know if she's doing injecting, but she's doing something.She does advanced aesthetics.Okay.So, um, she can do, liketo my knowledge, I don't know this for sure, but, um, I'm pretty sure she can do, um, like a skin pen and, you know, some of those types of things, treatments.Like types of- Yeah, like an advanced esthetician would do.But you have to be an RN in order to- To do injectables.toYup, yup.I keep trying to talk my best friend, or one of my friends, Carrie, to do it.She just goes, "Just, I'm not interested in that."And actually Mikaela, who was a guest a couple, ab- about a month ago, oh, she used to work here, she has talked about going into that field as well.What is that so you can just, like, open up your own shop and- Yeah.do, like, Botox and shit?Botox and fillers- Fuck.and molehars and stuff like that.Why wouldn't you do that?I feel like you could just make bank.Oh, they make good money.Yeah.Yeah.Hmm.I mean, a lot more money than I've made over the years.I was gonna say.wrong profession, I'll tell you that.Yeah,Like, wrong profession.I worked way too hard and didn't make enough money.But you never went off on your own either.I did.Oh, you did?I did for a little bit, yeah.Um, that wasn't successful either.I just, I don't think I had a, clientele that was quite strong enough to do that.Okay.So I ended up back in the salon then.Okay.But I haven't been in the salon for 5 years, ever since COVID hit.I see.I wasn't going back.Really?Nope.Okay.So I've been working from home.I built a salon in my house and- Oh, so you are working then?You- Yeah, kind of.Okay.Yeah.UmWell, that's good.But I've been through a bunch of surgeries in the past 5 years and stuff, soOn your hands?Yeah.You got carpal tunnel?I had carpal tunnel first.That was about 5 years ago.Oh, that brutal.I was black and blue, you guys, from here all the way back to here with hematomas on both my wrists.From the surgery or just- Mm-hmm.No shit?Yeah.So I did that first.HolyAnd they did both hands at the same time.What?Um, so that was really hard.Why would they do that?I mean- Ha, that sounds like torture, dude.They, they claim- You can't use any hands?No.I mean, I fuck are supposed to use?Right?Your feet?I'm not that flexible.I mean, it was terrible.Can't even wipe my own ass.terrible.They say, though, that they wanna do both hands at the same time because the recovery is so shitty- Yeah.they don't, typically people don't come back to do the other hand.Nice.So- Marie.Yeah.SoThat's aggressive as fuck.Yeah, I did that first.And then, like, a year later- So have you learned to eat with your feet?No, I didn't.I mean- She's legs.Right?I don't remember how IHonestly, I don't remember how I did everything.I mean, my son was he- helpful.She is.Holy.His older sister came and stayed with me.I had a brand new puppy at the time.Fuck.I mean, I woke up the night- Oh, my God.I had surgery and the puppy was like- That'sunwrapping all my bandages and, like, pulling and it was ridiculous.Pick time to do that.I know, well- Like I potty trained thesurgery had already been planned and the puppy came, so whatever.Oh.My, my son's oldest sister came and stayed with us and she was super, super helpful.But yeah, I mean- Okay.Yeah, you're prettyeverything was challenging.Yeah, everything was a challenge.How long bandaged?Um, I don't remember how long they were bandaged, but it took, um- Unbelievable.I mean, they told me, like, 6 to 8 weeks.It was, like, 12 full weeks of- Oh.Ugh.not being able to really do much.And it's painful.I bet.And I don't take pain meds.Yeah, I don't either.They work.So I mean, only when I absolutely have to they work for me.But I just know myself and I don't ever wanna be in that position.I mean, that's how Dave ended up in the position he was in, so.And dad.And my dad, yes, very much so.Yeah, I've had, uh, couple surgeries and I've got bottles of, like, Vicodin, oxycodone, Percocet.They just, I can take a couple, slam a few beers and I'm still just, I don't feel like- It works?it doesn't even, it doesn't help me sleep, doesn't help me do anything.Vicodin Right.but whiskey does.Yeah, whiskey, that's it.That's it.Vicodin winds, it, like, winds me up.I always say- Yeah.I, like, motorboat.Really?That's how it affects you?Yeah.Gets your heart rate up.Just, I just can't stop talking.Yeah.That's what I do.Percocets I cannot do because I will throw up every time.Ugh.I don't even think I, my body has ever really, I, I don't even know the difference of- Of between them?taking Percocet or Vicodin or any of thathad to take, um, when I broke my ribs, I had bukked u- bukked up a few years back and I broke my ribs and they prescribed to me Percocet first and that was just a nightmare.I'm like, "Nope, can't take these."So then they switched me to Vicodin.And I literally was on it for , like, I don't, only a couple, 2, 3 days and it pugs you up.So then you- Oh, yeah.need go todon't know if I should bring it up or not, but I will.Yeah.I mean, it makes me so constipated.Get that- That's another reason I can't do it.Right.Not only is it dangerous for me, A, and B- Get that thing.is the worst feeling ever.And know I'm struggling to go to the bathroom with broken ribs, which hurts already.Ugh.So I'm like, "Fuck it."Sounds miserable.I'm just live with the broken ribs.Right?I'm not taking this crap anymore.I've actually found, I've actually found if I alternate Tylenol and, um, like 800 milligrams of ibuprofen or Advil- Yeah.Yes.that actually really does well for me.Yeah, I mean.Yeah.I had 600 gram, or milligrams of Tylenol and that seemed to help better than any pain medicine I'veFor when you had your broken collarbone here?Yeah, yep.Yeah.So the next surgery I did, well, uh, the year after I did the carpal tunnel- Yep.I felt like I was having pain again in my hands and my wrists.So I went back to the guy that did my, um, carpal tunnel, and he was like, "Yeah, you know, we could do this.It's maybe this."feel comfortable and I walked out.Like, that was not a for sure answer-as to what is going on.Like, whatI just went through a horrible surgery.I don't need you guessing.Yeah, right?So I referred myself.I didn't even ask for a referral.I referred myself to the nail clinic 'cause my mom's- Ohwhole side of the family goes.I think my grandparents went for like a hangnail, literally.Oh,mean, they went for everything.But that's the best in the world.IYeah, they are.So I saw, um, a doctor there that specializes in, um, TFCC tears.He actually invented, um, some of the tools that he uses and the scope during the surgery.Oh, fuck.So, um, he was amazing.Good.But they'd only do one hand at a time.ThankUm-and it's a 6 to 12 month recovery per hand.What the fuck- I know.did you do to your hands?Why is it like that?worked way too much.I way overdid it with hair.Broke, broke shit with cutting andOh.mean, I worked all day in the salon full-time, and then I watched home and- It's tedious, tedious things that- Yep.little devices.All the rotating from round brushing and the cutting- Ugh.and all of that.Oh, fuck.Yeah, so then, um, it's been a year, a l- year and 4 months for this hand, and just about a year in July it will be for this hand, and they're still killing me.They still hurt?Yeah, still hurt.So I, um, I went back- Mm-hmm.a couple weeks ago, and he did an X-ray for me and said, "Well, you're bone on bone now on both your wrists."So both surgeries were successful previous to that, but now I'm bone on bone.So I have to go in and do surgery again.What the fuck?On your wrists?On my wrists.how they gonna correct that?Yeah.So they go in and they shave down bone so that you're not bone on bone, and then, I mean, I'mI, I don't look up my surgeries like on YouTube or anything.Like I don't need to know.I watchJust put me under and do it.I just wanna wake up better.Right, right?Um, and then he puts in a plate.Um, so he's like, "It's gonna be a much bigger surgery than what you've had so far."Um, so I'm, you know, just saying my prayers and knowing that- Then you're going to Mayo for this?I, Iam going to the Mayo again.I'm gonna use the same surgeon- Yeah, good.did the TFCC tears.Yep.So he's amazing.He's wonderful.Well, hopefully that'll- Ugh.correct, you know, everything.I need it better at this point.And then you're done.I know.Oh, God, right?I gotta be done at some point, yeah.I mean, how, what else is there to go wrong with your hands and your wrists?I mean, I think that's about, yeah.I feel like once you get done with the shaving b- bone, you've hit the mi- hit the max.When you say bone on bone, it just makes me cringe.And it's painful, you know?Right.can't imagine.Um, and so he told me, he's like, "There's no more smoking."And I quit smoking cigarettes when I did, um, the second surgery, but I vape now.Oh.Ah.Boo.So he's like, "No more vaping.""No more smoking pot, no more anything."Right.You know, you have to completely be done.So he wants me to come back andHow long for the surgery?Do youAnd like, do you have to be off work?3 months completely.So he set me up to come back and see him in 4 months.Okay.Um, so by then, I have to quit.So I've got like a week left.mycounting down.Yeah, right.We're re- You're just like twitching just like, "Fuck."Ugh.Yeah.I need, I need, I need a- Yeah.Ugh.It's just anI think more than like the addiction part, like the physical addiction part of it, it's more mental for me, right?It's like- Oh,a routine, when you do it, um, and just the oral part of it, you know?Right.Yeah.It's just- I know I can do it.If I quit smoking Camel Blues- Ugh.I can quit smoking a vape.Yes, you will do it.So you have to.I will do it.Yeah, there's no choice.YouIt'll get better.So got to thinking, um, when did we meet?Like were you a- 'Cause I don't remember meeting you as a child.I think- You don't?Not, not really.Okay.Um- What do you remember?Or I'm just saying, am I remembering shitty?I rememberremember Jim marrying you.I mean, we were all so excited.Aw.So, um, and I do have a couple memories even, um, from before when he was married to his first wife.Yeah, yeah.And- Some peoplecousin Jessie-had a first wife.He did, yeah.Yep, and they had a son together.Mm-hmm.So I have a, a little bit of memory about that, being at Bob and Jean's and stuff.Yeah.But, um, I guess I mustI'm just gonna guess I was maybe 10- Okay.when you guys got married?Well, it was 1991.Okay, so I would've been 11.Yeah.So yeah.So pretty- Okay.pretty close.So I, I don't really remem- 'Cause I feel like you didn't really start coming up for holidays and stuff like that until you could drive.Yeah.So that was 16 and then we started- Yes.seeing you more because you were always- Yes, yes.with mom's side of the family.I was, yes.They wereI was really close with my mom's side.Holidays were huge with them.I mean, there was usually, I don't know, 30 to 40 people.Yeah.So it was a big deal.Um, but yeah, once I got to drive, Ikind of split up- Yeah.Christmas especially.I would do Christmas Eve with my mom's side.That was the big kind of shindig at my grandparents'.Yep.And then started coming to see the Bonhoeff side- Yeah.um, the day after.Yeah, 'cause I remember you coming andWe would usually do Christmas Eve at their house because it's walk- I know, so I'd kind of miss out on that.you sometimes would come really late, like 11 o'clock because we're all still partying.Yeah, yeah, yeah.No, I would come late.I would come late.And we're like- like, "Fuck it.I know there's gonna be people drinking."know they're still partying.Yeah, totally.So yeah, I would come later and actually the last Christmas that I went to at Bob and Jean's was theI, I made Christmas Eve.Yeah.And it wa-My dad died that following September, so I was so glad I went.Oh.So glad I went.I don't, don't evenI bet youI wasn't even there 'cause they stopped inviting me.Yeah, I know.We'll get into that.I mean, I've never heard of such a thing.Yeah.You don't just stop inviting people.Yeah, well, they- But I didn't know that.Yeah.Oh, that happens.There's a lot of things I don't know either I guess.I know, I soYou're gonna learn today.I guess.today.So, um, yeah.I was gonna say I feel like the firstNot the first time but like the most memorable time of getting to know you better was you were pregnant with Sam.Okay.When you were pregnant and you came upYour dad had that house on the river.Yup.And, uh- She was not happy with me, I'll tell you that.Oh.And I just remember you looked so cute.We got a picture of you 'cause you were pregnant.Oh, I was.Yeah, yeah.And howSo how old were you then?I was 21 when I got pregnant.Okay.And 22 when I had Sam.Okay.So it wasn't like you were a, a kid.I mean, you were a kid, but you weren't.I wa-Yeah, and I, I, you know, I did so much nannying and taking care of younger cousins 'cause I'm the second oldest of 20 some grandchildren.Jesus.Holy shit.Um, so I felt like I had the tools.I knew I was young but much already a mother.I felt like I, I knew I could do it and I knew I could do a good job.It just wasn't who I wanted to be with and it wasn't good timing.in a relationship with him, with Sam's dad?Yep.And for how long?We were together for like a year and then I left and went to Europe, and told him the night before that I was leaving.Which sounds about right.I did.You something I didn't know?Yeah.It's like peace, bitch, I'm out.No, I literally did.I was like, "So I'm leaving in the morning."Um- To fucking Europe?Yeah, "And I'm not gonna call you while I'm there."So you were pregnant or Sam was born?Nope, this was beforeThis was before I ha-I got pregnant with Sam.Oh.Holy shit.Yeah, and I went for a little over a month.Okay.And I had just qui-I had just dropped out of nursing school actually and, um, IMy mom was like, "Gosh, well, I wish there was like something that you could do to continue to grow and learn."And I had 2 girlfriends from high school that were gonna go.They had already planned the trip.Um, and I hopped onboard the week before.Nice.My mom was like, "I'll borrow you the money to do it.I think you should go.I mean, these girls have already planned the trip.You can just kinda tag along."Yeah, you'reI was like, "Well, I don't have a passport.I don't have a passport and they're leaving in a week."Yeah.Oh, yeah.So her and IThis was before 9/11.Fucking havoc.Oh.Right before 9/11.9/11 happened and then I left actually.Um, so we worked full time to get this passport and I picked up the passport on the way to the airport- On the way airport 'causeto catch my flight.get them expedited but it's not easy.You can but they don't expedite them that quick anymore.No.This was, like I said- Yep.just prior to 9/11.Oh, bugged.So, yeah.So I went and then- And where in Europe did you go?So we flew in and out of France, in and out of Paris.And, um, we were in, um, in France, in, um, Switzerland which I had no idea how much I would love Switzerland.It's breathtaking, stunning.Yeah, I know.Um, and then we were in, um, Germany 'cause of course, you know, my last name is Bonhoeffer, so I was like, "Well, I gotta do that."Train station.Right, it is train station.Yeah, train station.Um, and then we, um, went to Italy and, you know, my mom's side of the family is from Italy.So I went and saw, um- So you're Italian German?Mm-hmm.Wow.I mean, I think I'm only like an 8th Italian.Okay.But I mean, I named my son after my great grandpa who was full-blooded Italian.Okay.So, um, yeah.We went to Italy which was one of my favorites.I bet.That wouldYeah, it was wonderful.And then we went down and did the southern part of Italy, southern part of France.Oh, by the way, we rented a car the whole time.None of us knew any of the languages or how to park or do anything.Um, and then we went back up to Paris and flew out.So- So you were just exploring for a month?Yep.I was gonna say, she better not have gone to Greece.No, that's my next trip though.I know.I'll go with you.Yes.That's my dream trip.Well, my mom and I are gonna go actually for like a month.Um, I think- Holymaybe next summer.So you'll have to come and catch a leg of it or something.Something.I wanna go to Greece so bad.Yep.I do too.That's definitely one that I missed out on.But- Oh.I'll get there.Mm-hmm.Oh, we're gonna do our first drink, Shannon.We are gonna do Clawtales by White Claw, Paulie's favorite.Ugh.He hates seltzer.You do?Fuck, yeah.I can't stand them.know, I used to drink them more often.Really?Now I'm like, ugh, I just really don't love it but- It'sIt's 7% though, and they say it's- Oh, well, that helps.It's notlong as I canYeah, as long as I canIt's not that carbonated shit that, the real bubbly, like, I don't know- So here's-makes you burp and regurgitateI've never heard of this.It's blueberry mojito.This.Sounds delicious.It's ourpretty new.I love mojitos too.I do too.That's why I picked this flavor.Yes.Um, yeah.And I love blackberry.All right.Let's give it a whirl.Let's do peat.Let's do peat.Right.Oh, nom.Oh, I like it.Ooh.Yeah, it doesn't- Definitely taste the mint in it.Doesn't taste like a seltzer.Not at all.It's not fizzy.No, it's definitely not as fizzy as, you know.Yeah.Yeah, I like it.Delicious.could drink it.Mm-hmm.I wouldn't, but I could.I wouldn't, could.But if at all- But I also think-ifcould only have like maybe one or two.I feel like that's all these though, you know?For sure.No, I could drink a chaser.always start with these and then I go to, like, the vodka.Right.Or I just use these as a chaser.Yeah.I don't know why, but I can drink that shit that'll give you gut rot for days.I can just have those- Like Mike's.Yeah.Smirnoffs.All those things.I can have like- Never liked that-mostly two Mike's Hard Lemonades and be like, "Fuck it."That's it for me.Then myRussian shit that they used to make that Stolichnaya Citron or something?It was like a knockoff Smirnoff kind of deal.Stoli?Yeah.Yeah.Like, a vodka?I, no, it wasn't a v- it was like, it was almost identical to a, uhNope, that ain't it.No.Not Stoli.It, uh, it was almost identical to a Smirnoff, but it was just like a Russian version or something.And it was like ha- Well, it sounds really good, a Russian version.Ha- ha- it was like half the price of, like, Smirnoff.Of the vodka?Yeah, yeah.There's a Sobieski.I don't know what it was.Oh, that sounds Russian.That's Russian.Yeah.I don't know what it was, but it was delicious and I used to pound the fuck out of those things.Just straight vodka?Yeah.You psycho.Yeah, pretty much.I mean, I'm empty.I do love a martini on the rock, you know.love a Cosmo.That's like- Yes, me too.I've never sh- I've actually never really had a vodka martini before.You haven't?Mm-mm.My grandpa, oh, my grandpa used to drink them but he was a gin martini drinker.And he mixed them in cups at least that big.Yeah.No, I'm not kidding.That's talking about.And he'd have more than one.And it was in the car on our way to dinner, so.Oh, yeah.Oh, hi.Can I try some then?Yeah, yeah.Yeah.What the heck?A blueberry martini.Have a little.What else?What you think?Good, great.Mm, that's good.Isn't that delicious?Yes.I like that.We have another flavor too if you want this.So what's this one, Shannon?StrawberryHon, do you wanna try this?This one's strawberry Cosmo.Ooh.Ooh, there we go.Maybe right up your alley.There it is.It's a key thing.I found my son a new drink.Oh, it smells like bubble gum.Oh, gosh.Does it?Okay.I'm a cosmo lover, so we'll see.That one's the strawberry Cosmo.I don't mind that.Ooh.I like that a lot.I kindaIt's got a weird aftertaste.Does it?Yeah.DebbieTake a sip of your beer, you'll be fine.Debbie Downer over there.Bup.Right?Yeah.Thank you.You're welcome.I kinda like it.I like this.I give it, I give both of them a 10.What do you give it, Paul?Ugh.Seven.No, like a eight, I'd say.Okay.I'll give it a nine.All right.I'll go right in the middle.Perfect.It's a, doesn't have that, like, White Claw fizzy- No.self to it.Definitely doesn't have that.So definitely drinkable.Yeah, agreed.And it's 7% though.gets you there faster.Right.So, I mean, and then I'm all in.Actually, I'll have one of those next time.Oh, here we go.I'm thinking we're gonna go, um, right, we talked about Sam very little but, so let's talk about the men in your life.Oh, there are none.I know.There are none.Um- I mean, I'm 45 and I've never been married, so.I know.I know.Let's start with, well, first of all, let's start with your dad.Okay.we start there?He's a man in your life.He is.In your life.Huge man in my life, yeah.Um, how was your, you've kind of already gotten into how your relationship with him was growing up, but, like, were you guys close?Like, did he do dad things with you?No.What's that?Fakeies?No, not at all.Not even?even a little bit.Not even a little?Hard pass.No, yeah, that's a big pa- hard pass.Um, but as I got older and could drive and went and saw him more on my time- Yep.um, 'cause I had to go there every other weekend.My mom was strict about, "I mean, you're going every other weekend."Especially once he married Becky.Yep.Because my mom was raising my sister who had special needs- Yeah.and she needed a break.Yeah.So we went there every other weekend, but I think I really got close to him, um, when I could start to drive and became, you know, more of a young adult.Right.And- And that's why I say, I sw- I seen you more.Yes.So that's where most of my memories are as- Right.you know, you were 16 and up.And up, yeah.Yeah, so we really grew to have, um, a really great relationship.Good.Yeah.Well, I know your dad, you know, thought the world of you and, and Dave and, you know.W- I think you were his favorite, butI didn't know that.Yeah.Really?Yeah.You're gonna make me cry.Just just- I don't know.I didn't even know that he thought the world of me.You weren't, um, you weren't in any trouble-or, you Yeah, I was pretty good.You were a good kid, like- I just didn't get caught a lot.Yeah, right.Sneaky little fuck.I mean, I was- That's all it was kind of.I was, I was not getting caught by my mom.Oh, yeah.mean, that would've been hell to pay, soMy brother, didn't care.Gone with the wind.Yeah, didn't give a fuck.Zero fucks given.Zero fucks.So you're growing up with him, he didn't really do, likeDid you go on family vacations?That'sSo you actually sent me a message last night and you were like, "Do you have a funny-" Yeah."Do you have a funny, you know, memory-" Or worst memory of your dad."or funny of your dad?"And I was like, "No, he wasn't funny at all."Like, not to me.It's okay.Like he thought he was funny, but I never laughed once I don't think.But, you know, I hadMy best, my best memories though are all the vacations he took us on.Okay, so he did.took us on so many wonderful vacations.Like where?Um, we went to Puerto Vallarta quite a few times.Oh, lucky.Holy shit.Um, and by the way, he brought us to this resort and rented the entire top level, which was all glass all the way around.What the fuck?He went big with, went on vacation.baller, all around, yeah.Holy shit.Yeah, yeah.And they went like way out on a limb when they did that one.I mean, we all had our own bedrooms.It was spectacular.Ah, fuck.Wow.That's memory.Yeah, it is.And then he also, um, won some sort of a trip to Hawaii and none of us had ever been to Hawaii before.Okay.So he took all of us to Hawaii.That was amazing.Still whatever.was that with your mom or with Becky?With Becky.Oh, that was- All this isI don't ever remember a vacation with my mom and dad- Okay.at all.Okay.So this, you'reNo.So these were all with Becky, yup.Okay.Yeah, and then when we were in Hawaii, um, Becky, my step-mom's, um, cousin lives on Kauai.So she came and met us there.Um, we were on the island of Maui.Okay.Fun.It was really fun.I bet.She's aI kinda remember that Hawaii trip now that you say that.Uh, seeing pictures of it and stuff.Yeah, those are all my best memories with him.Those are goodI'm so glad that he did that.Yeah.So I've tried to do that with my son.I know that for me, traveling was some- Yeah.of the very best memories.Yes.So I've tried to, you know, take him on spring break every year andYeah, that's badass.Where do you guys go?We go to Florida every year.We drive with my aunt and uncle.Oh.Um, so my mom's youngest brother and, um, his wife and myself are all very, very close.Him and I are only 12 years apart.Okay.And their oldest son is, um, younger than Sam by like nine months.So they grew up- Oh, they grew up together.as best friends, yeah.Yeah, cool.Living next door to each other and- Nice.all that, so that's what we did for spring break.Now you still do that?TheyOr is different?No, Sam doesn't anymore.Right.But I- 'Cause he's out of school, right?Oh, yeah.He's 22.Okay.he's, uh, he's- He has no interest.Doesn't fuck anymore.No, he doesHe has no interest."I wanna hang out with you no more,lives the most spectacular life.I have no idea.I mean, he lives a really fucking cool life, my son does.All right.right, we'llWhere in Florida did he go?Daytona.Oh, nice.Yeah.Okay.So we got into that.Um, last name.Okay.It's real easy.It's really easy.Let's get into that.So I know you don't go by Bonghoff, you go by Mack.When did you guys change your last name?I didn't change it.It's still like when I sign on my credit cards, everything is Mack-Bonghoff.It is?I've never changed my last name.Okay.But, um- I know JimI don't even know why he was so mad about that.Do you remember him confronting you about it?MyNo, I don't.See, now I don't remember a lot of stuff and I don't remember that."What the fuck, Marie, you don't wanna be a Bonghoff anymore?"Blah, blah, blah.I remember that.Did I cry?I don't think you cried but you were like, "Uncle Jim, it's just, it's not that," you know.It's not.can see Jim doing that.It'sHe was mad.It's not.It was my mom, she hyphenated it.Why in the fuck would you ever give me Marie Victoria Mack Bonghoff?That sounds fucking miserable to sign that.Wait, everybody in school slaughtered it.Okay.Completely slaughtered it.Um, and it was Marie Mack just soundIt wasThe one that she- Simple.before, it was super simple.Everybody could pronounce it.I spent the majority of my time growing up, um, with Mack.Mack, yep.Yup.But a lot of people still know me as Marie Mack Bonhoef.They do?Okay.Mm-hmm.But I just decided throw that.I just remember when that- legally, I've never changed it.I thought Steve told us that Vick, your mom, made you change it legally or whatever.She, she legally changed it to Mack Bonhoef, so she put Mack, her maiden name- Before?before it.Yeah.Which wasI mean, I still give her shit about that.But you It was the dumbest idea ever.She can't do that without your dad's permission, so- Oh, he must have signed.obviously he had to have signed.I don't think he had much of a choice.Was that born or, like, afterwards?Oh, no, I was Marie Bonhoef until I was- Oh.Marie Mack Bonhoef?7.When they got divorced is when she changedThat's when she changed it.So when you were 7, they changed it?What the fuck, so you gotta relearn that shit?yeah, I, I, I- I hated it from the start.Well, 'cause you know, I don't think we realized it until we were quite 0 you know, older.'Cause then'Cause if it was already changed at 7, we didn't find out about it, or Jim didn't find out about it until later.My brother went bySo there's already otherLike, my mom's youngest brother that I was just talking about, his name is Dave Mack.Dave yeah.David Mack.So my brother was always called Bonhoef by all the Macks, you know?Yep.Dave Bonhoef.So he continued to go by Bonhoef.Yeah, I thought that.But you, youYeah, 'cause I don't rememberDon't know, Michelle as Michelle Mack, right?Well, they changed after Pat adopted her, my stepdad adopted my sister, um, I think it was aft- right after my dad passed away that he- He did?Aw.he adopted her.Yeah, actually, Wayne came to theLike, we had, like, a celebration or whatever of the adoption, which I wasn't real crazy about.But anyway, yeah, Wayne came and Debra came, which was really nice.And so at that point, you know, Michelle wanted to print her own name, and t- tried it, print Michelle Mack Bonhoef.Again, just, like, stupidity.Right.Right.So we, um, shortened it up, which I like that my mom didn't change her last name to McConnell, which was my stepdad's last name.Oh, she kept it Mack.I like that she kept it Mack, and she kept it short for Michelle to be able to write and sign her name.Perfect.So that's how Michelle ended up Michelle Mack.Sweet.Well, I didn't know any of that.I guess I thought that you were- I just dropped it.legally changed or whatever, or just dropped it or whatever.Nope.'Cause I justJim was so irritated.Nope, I'm, I still got it.Um, do our second drink.The, it's called a cabanaOoh, we got a whole cocktail.Cabana Crush cocktail.What's in this?So there is Peach Schnapps.Oh, yes.Margarama.Yes.Thank you.Pineapple juice.Oh.And cranberry juice.Hmm, that sounds good to me.Yeah.An ounce of each, so it has 2 ounces of booze in each one.What's this white stuff on the top?I like that the straw is perfectly short.I know, right?Oh.Yeah, it's not way up here.From me shaking it?Yeah, he's shaking it.It's got fuzz in it.Right?I don't know.That last fucking, what's that Green Goblin shit you fucking served me?We did, we did drink.What Green Goblin drink?Oh, yeah.Ghostbusters.And then it had Bailey's in it, and what else was in that?Uh, Midori.Midori & Bailey's.It was, like, all alcohol, right?And then you pour a little bit of, like, Kahlua so it looked like this- It was Bailey's.or Bailey's, whatever, so it looked like curdled milk, just like a stream sitting down there and it's like, "Ugh."In the fringes.laundry.Like, am I being punked or what, you know whatDon't you remember that shot when you were young, uh, that people gave you?Cement mixer.Is that the one?Fuck, yeah.Oh.That curdles in your mouth?Yeah.Remember there was one called thethought of it makesThe one that makes everybody puke.It's a guaranteedI spit it out everywhere.I don't give a fuck.Yeah.Absolutely not, no one's doing that to me.I'm not drinking that.No swallowing.Yeah.Mm-hmm, this is really good.I like it.Definitely give it a 10.We finally have someone thatWell, I don't know if you have a boat, but you have access to many boats.So we always talk about, "Oh, this would be great on a boat."Debs.Yeah, right.here's one that actually gets to go on boats.My son Sam is on the boat probably 5 days a week.He's always around.We don't have a boat, but- But his friends.all of his friends do.Yeah.So he lives a really cool life.Good.Good for him.Where does he live, down in Minnetonka then or some shit like that?Yeah, yeah, that's where- Yeah, fuckthat's where I, that's where we grew up we're talkingbig island or some shit.All weekendYeah.Yesterday he's like, "Mom, how much longer do I have to stay at this wedding?They're all on a big island."I'm like, "What are you gonna do, swim out there?They're already all out there tiedFuck, yeah.If that's what I gotta do.He's like, "No, I won't swim."And I'm like, "Okay, thank God."Live in, live in the rough.Yeah.Immediately regret giving him that decision.You're like, "Ah, fuck, he's probably gonna do that."Yeah.He's a smart guy, actually.HeI'm so impressed with him every day.Aw.What does he do for work?He is going to, umHe thought about going to trade school.He was gonna go for welding, and then had this opportunity through his dad's side of the family.Um, they own a commercial roofing business- Oh, nice.called Arnen Roofing.And, um, so Sam is gonna be taking that over.Oh.Damn.Yeah.Does he actually do the roofing, or is he taking over more like No, he is taking 0 Smart, they subcontract it out, and motherfuckers do it.Yep.They all get up on the roof, but he's up on the roof, you know.Assessing, checking for damage.Right.And thenYep, he goes on the roof, and- Debesydoes, does the sails and all that good stuff.I know that.I just had my roof done.Oh, no.I told Sam, "We need to start to advertise."I mean, we know so many people.Yeah.We need toAnyway, he's been, um, going with his grandpa every day, and his grandpa's gonna be 80 soon, so he really doesn't wanna do the business- So his dad's side.Okay.Yep, his grandpa Steve, actually.They're both Steve.Oh, really?Yeah.Yeah, so he has been kind of mentoring through his grandpa, and learning the ropes, and learned some from his uncle.And, um, so him and his dad will be taking over the business, but, um, his dad doesn't really do anything.Like, nothing.Did he ever?Nothing.Made Sam.Nothing.Yeah, he's did.He, he made a really handsome boy.But he is a great dad to Sam, I will say that.Um, he calls Sam way too often.So now going back to him, were you together- No.after Sam at all?Oh, yeah, we tried again.Okay.But I came back from Europe, and never called him when I got back for 6 months.Jesus Christ.And then one night I was drunk and I was like, "Oh, I'm in the area, I'm in Uptown-" Hey."I'll see what he's doing."And that was it.HeThat was it?I mean, I know it only takes one time, right?Yeah.Yeah.But, yeah, that was it.I remember the dress I was in.mean, I wasI- IWe got done and I was like, "I know what I know.""I'm already pregnant-" Yeah.I know it."Fuck my life.Uh.Well, what do you do?Oh.You gotta, gotta.Oh, my gosh.What a tag.wouldn't change it- Fuck.for the world, I wouldn't changefucking hilarious.Yeah, he's- he's beautiful.Ah.Inside and out.beautiful boy, that's for sure.So we're gonna get into your brother.Okay.Okay.So your, uh, brother is David.Um, I know as adults, like, you guys were best friends.We were as kids too.You were?Okay, that's where ISuper, super, super close.'Cause I never really knew, like, so you guys were always super close?Always.Like 3 or 8 difference.Um, 3.3 years?Just, just less than 3 years, yeah.Oh, so about a year difference than my brother.And we went through a lot as kids, and I think that really bonded us.Yeah.Um, we were a support for each other.You know, my sister was very, very sick and- Mm-hmm.Yeah.um, you know, our parents had divorced and then both parents remarried.Were you happy that your parents divorced?Um, my mom said I had a hard time with it at first, um, but, yeah, I think I always had a hard time with it.Not because- 'Cause I, I wanted my mom to divorce my dad.I love- oh, myI've al- I'd always, you know- That's weird.I'd always said, looking at it, you know, once I was a young adult, an adult, I'm so glad that they got divorced and my mom didn't subject us to all the fighting- Yeah.and all the, you know, abuse- Well, right?and shit.So, but I wasn't happy about her remarrying.That was a hard one.Really hard one for me.Is it?Yes.Oh, my gosh.Now, why?Because of him, or- Yeah.All of it.Oh.And I think it was, you know, my mom and I kind of against the world, because Michelle was so sick and David was younger than I was.Oh.So I really, really, really stepped in.I mean, my mom said I would count the amount of diapers that were in the diaper bag before we left-to make sure we had enough while we were out and about for my sister.You are, you're such a motherly person.Like- Yeah.you always are wanted to care giver for everybody.Yes.I've, you know, I've, umSince the loss of my dad and my brother though, I've tried to be a lot better about that, because I spent my whole life just taking care of everybody else- Yeah.not taking care of myself.And not yourself, yup.Right.But yeah, I never, I neverum, I think I really struggled with it until I was an adult, till I could look back and say, "Yeah, they were not meant to be together."At all.And I think it was good, you know?And everything happens for a reason.Right.You have to try to find the good in everything.I agree.Um, with David, he is a, a wild child.Let's just say what it is.He had Mack in him, which are- And Bonhoff.and Bonhoff, so yeah.So, like, how did you gauge that?'Cause like me, you said, "Oh, I didn't ever get caught," so maybe you did a lot more wild things than I know of, but Dave- Yeah.didn't make it a secret, like- No.If you that sneaky shit you did and you tell no one.He was little hellraiser.I, he wasI was just much more careful because I didn't wanna get caught.But I think once you kind of break in your parents, you know-Dave was like, "Well, you know, here"Well, no, he went like- Push the limit on every- Oh, yeah.single fucking thing he could possibly do.Yeah.And did not give a fuck.Yeah.He'sDave was super fucking funny.Oh, my gosh.So whatTell me- He was the best.a funny story about Dave.One ofthe fucking craziest, craziest thing you did.my gosh.Or craziest thing you can remember doing.Can you talk about drugs on this?You can, yeah.Yeah.Well, we can't really talk about Dave unless we talk about drugs.Yeah.Um, gosh, I have so many wonderful memories with him.He was my best friend.Right.So we did everything together.We cooked together.Yeah.We drank together.We did everything together.But I remember being 16 and I had this little Audi coup, that was my stepdad's old car, stick shift.Oh, yeah.David would, he'd sit in the passenger side and I had like two or three different bongs in my trunk.And they all had cases and shit.We, I'd have a jug of water in the back to fill it up, you know, and dump it out.So he would go down on the floor and suck one up in the bong for me and then, you know, at the last second where, before the light was ready to turn, I would take the hit and then hold it up to mylike, "What a stoner."But we never, I don't know- Yeah.I guess we never got caught doing that.But, um, yeah he was, I don't know why I kept- While were driving likeYes, while I was driving.Yeah.and I'm worried about those like our generation fucking texting and driving.It's like, motherfucker, we were one knee in fucking flipping books of fucking shit- Yep.Yep.taking bong rips.It's like- Yeah.Agreed.I could literally make a sandwich in fucking drug down the interstate-straighter than half these motherfuckers driving this.But you shit driving down the highway.Oh, okay.Well, I didn't know that.Yeah.Yeah, there's some fucked up shit I did.WeBut, you know, back then you have to think too, the weed was different.It had beaners in it and shit.Yeah.It wasn't- It wasn't the kinda weed that we have around now.Yeah.Right.Right.Um, and the wax that they smoke and all this shit.I don't even know.That's it, dude.I don't do any ofLike I, I hadn'tMy son Sam had me try it before- Yeah.was gonna leave for Daytona.I had like 10 sandwiches out that I was making, I totally retired on the whole thing.Yeah.I'm like, "I can't make a sandwich.I can't do anything."You, can't function after that shit.No.Nope.I, my neighbor, he's- Nope.he smokes that wax and it's like, I, when I was younger I'd had, I don't know, a few joints here and there.I was never really big into weed.I'd only smoke it when I was shitfaced.Yeah, I've never seen you smoke weed.Yeah.So then like, I don't know, this had to be a few years back when I was messed up on, uh, with my hernia surgery.So I was out, I knew I wasn't gonna be working, knew I wasn't gonna be drug tested, and I went over to his place and took a hit of that wax.I came home and I sat on the fucking ottoman in front of the TV for like six hours.My girlfriend's like, "What the fuck is wrong with you?"I'm just like, "I don't know, I gotta go to bed."I just went to bed.And I sat there for like six hours just- Just zoning.just fucking just, like I couldn't fucking do anything.You literally can't, it's like just done, you're gameThat reminds me of when after Jim died and you came up to like do my hair and stuffOh my god, did I get you super stoned?Is that why you remember this?I swear I do now.Uh-oh.We're going to shore, he does my hair.Flashbacks.And I'm gonna look all pretty and stuff like that and then we're like, "Let's go."It's like eight o'clock.Go somewhere.let's go go somewhere and go get something to eat, like a pizza or something like that.And so we, we get in her car and we had been drinking wine already, but not a lot.Right.And you're like, "Do you want a hit?"And they, she had smoked a doobie or whatever-joint or, a one hitter.It was a one-hitter.That's all I smoke.Yeah.I'm a one hit wonder baby.Yeah.it was a one hitter.She gives me this weed and I'm like, I don't smoke weed ever.So- Yeah.I'm like, "Fuck it, I don't care."Right?It di- I did one hit.One hit.Just one hit.Yep.'Cause I know, like I don't get, like I don't do this stuff ever.Right.Holy crap.By the time we Well, I like to get the good stuff.By the time we left my house- If you're gonna it.call to Shooters, that's where we were going.So literally like five fucking minutes.I was wasted high.Like and I, then as the paranoia comes- Do you remember sitting on the steps of the bar?Yep.That, that is what I remember is sitting on the steps of the bar.Ugh.We sat on the steps because my girlfriend's "Well, I can't go in there funny.I can't go in there."Boogeyman's in there."They're all gonna know."I'm high."Nobody's gonna know.They're gonna know.That's just the paranoia.But we all think people are gonna know, butFunny enough it was Donny Brooks, Mikaela's dad was the one in there.Oh, yep.And I kept looking through the window, I'm like, "Donny's gonna know.Goddammit."You walked in- Donny's there.he's like, "You're fucking stoned, aren't you?"He sure as shit did.Did he?Oh, did he?He goes, "What's wrong with you?"Oh boy.Oh.So we sat had to mean-on the steps for probably a good half an hour before I had to go in the door.That soundsWell, I just did this to my mom not too long ago.That sounds right.Oh my gosh.I had to like bring her inside and put her to bed, sneak her in the side of the house.It wasI did that to my neighbor accidentally last weekend.Oh, I forgot about my neighbor I did it to.Oh, it's horrible.You ended up in the hospital.Oh, Marie!Well- Yes.My neighbor doesn't smoke weed and I, like I was shitfaced last week and whatever and, uh, Brittany, she drinks these THC drinks, right, whatever.Right.So they're, so they're in the fridge and I just grabbed them a can.I wasn't thinking nothing of it, didn't really pay attention what I grabbed them.I just grabbed them one.Thought it was like a fucking High Noon or something.And he's drinking it and whatever, but he, he said he had an, uh, he said he had had nothing to eat and I was smoking a cigar, like a Maduro, a dark one.And those things will fuck you up if you don't eat kinda, they, they can make- A cigar will fuckYeah.They can make you sick.Like sick to your stomach- Yeah.or like fucked up?No.Well, you kinda get like lightheaded and I don't know.I, I get weird on it, butFucking, I was asking him, I'm like, "Hey," I'm like, "Are you, how are you feeling?You okay?"Or whatever, 'cause he was taking a couple hits so I didn't- didn't think nothing of it.And then next day he's like, he's like, "What the fuck did you give me?"I'm like, "I don't know, I gave you a fucking cigar."He's like, he's like, "I thought it was weird 'cause you kept asking me if I was okay."I'm like, "Yeah, 'cause of that cigar."He's likeAnd it turns out I gave him a weed drink.And he's like-He's like, "I sat, I sat outside my house for like-" You didn't know?know either.I think Brittany knew and didn't say nothing.And she's kinda like looking at me, and I'm looking at her.I'm like,So now that I think about what happened and why she was looking at me, I'm like, "Oh, that makes sense why she was kinda staring at me with that dumb look, like, what are you doing?"What are you doing?Yeah!Yeah.That's funny.But, but then he's sitting there and he's like, he's like, "I got to my house," and he's like, "I think I stood outside my door for like 45 minutes trying to figure out how to get in the house."Oh my gosh."It wasn't even locked!"I felt so bad though.I'm just like, "Oh fuck, bud."What did you do to neighbor?Sorry about that.Yeah.Oops!So now I gotta pay attention.What did you do to your neighbor?Ended up in the hospital.Yes!And I wasn't even there at, uh, that night.Um, I don't know.He asked me like, "Can I try like one of your gummies or something?"So I was like, "Sure, just take half of it," you know?Yep.And then they never take half.No, I think he did only take half- Oh,but he does, he doesn't smoke pot on a regular basis.Yeah.So all of a sudden the next day, I found out he was in the damn emergency room and I was like- What?"Oh, no!"Well- I really fucked that one up.So what did- He was fine.I mean, I think he had the tell on him.Anxiety.Yeah.I yeah.got anxiety.Yeah.And I think his heart rate was- Yeah.different and, you know, those gummies- SoThe gummies, you never know.Those are a real question mark.Like some teacher accidentally give, uh, a bunch of her students- No.fucking gummies because they were like the Sour Patch Kids.I guess the, the package almost looks identical- Oh!and she ended up giving it like two or three of the kids, and they would have probably never found out, but a couple of the kids, same thing, kinda like had like high heart rate- Heartpanic attack, kinda felt weird and- What theYeah.And they took didn't know that.I that either.Yeah.Yeah.Was that in Minnesota?Uh, I don't know where that was.Oh.I don't know if it was Minnesota or not.she had to have gotten fired.Well, I'm sure she's done.Oh, she's fucked.Yeah.Completely fucked.She's done.She lost her teacher's license- You're done.and she's not getting tenured.Oh, Lord.Yeah.Right?So we got into Dave a little bit, and now we're gonna s- go into how both your dad and your brother have passed away.Yep.They were both addicts.Yep.And both of them died because of it.Mm-hmm.I mean, technically, that's not what my dad died from, but it was- It was.all the years of abuse on his system.Yeah.HisIt, it just couldn't take anymore.You can't go that long and run at that high of a speed and not burn out sooner or later.Right.Yeah.He burned his insides out, literally.Literally.UmSo when did you realize your dad was an addict?Like how old were you?Did you know like when you were a kid, or did you understand- Yes, and I think the firstI, I can tell you right now the first time I realized that there was something really, really wrong was, um, him and my mom were separated and he was living with this gal in Mound.Um, and he wanted to take us for the night, so this gal, whoever he was living with, I think she was trying to like keep him sober or something.She didn't do a very good job obviously.But, um- I don'tThere was no one gonna keep him sober except for you.Yes, 100%.And we know that.We know so much more about addiction now than we've ever known.Right.Yeah.Um, but yeah.We were, we were there.We were spending the night, David and I were, and, um, all of a sudden, he starts pulling everything out of the closet.His towels are going everywhere and he's pulling everything out of the closet.So he thinks there's somebody watching him from in the closet or something.Yeah.Oh, so he's paranoid.Totally paranoid.Totally paranoid.Yeah.So I don't know if he was doing coke or what he was doing.Probably.But, um, super, super, super paranoid, and we ended up having to be driven home in the middle of the night, and he was super mad.So once this ga- Who home?This gal that he was living with- Oh, so she's theYoushe brought us home, and, um, my dad followed her.And so once we- Allonce we, um, got into the house, he was banging on all the windows, screaming and hollering at my mom.I mean, I was so afraid.So my mom, um, she said, "Did you lock the downstairs sliding door?"And I said, "No, I didn't."So I ran down there to lock the sliding door 'cause we had all the other windows and doors locked, and, um, he was coming down the hill at the same time and I met him at the door.Uh-huh.And I locked it.So he couldn't come in the house.Um, and that was horrible.I bet.mean, he was so angry with me.Ugh.And I was seven or eight.My gosh.No, I would've been younger than that.They were still married.I would've been probably six or seven.That's crazy.Six?Five or six?But yeah, that's, that's when I knew that there was a major problem.So at that young of age- Yes.you knew that there was- Yep.something wrong.Yeah.I mean, I had never met anyone that was acting like that.But you didn't think it was alcohol, you knew it was somethingI knew it was something else, yeah.Yeah.Okay.Yeah, 'cause your dad, when I met him in 1988, he, uh, what did your parents divorce, what year?'87, 'cause I was 7 so, and I was born in '80, so '87.Okay.'87.So he hadn't been divorced that long- Right.when I met him.Right.So he, and I knew he was running, like, wild.He was running wild, but so was Jim.So they bothHe ran wild while he was married to my mom, so I know he ran buckwild when he, uh, was.and I think, I know Jim ran wild when he was married to his first wife.Oh, yeah.So, um, I, he's told me enough stories that I, I know that, like, I can see why you guys got divorced.Yeah, yeah.YouThere's not a fucking chance I'd put up with that bullshit.He w- he was so different with you.I mean, he changed, like almost unrecognizable, you know?I mean, he was obviously very recognizable 'cause of his stature- Yeah.and personality and everything.Yeah.But he threw- you're not gonna miss that guy.No, you're not.you're not, definitely.No, and he's- and my brother- He's always told me that if I hadn't met you, I would've been dead.Like, the road that he was going down was not a good road.No.Hand down.He said, "I, uh, I thank you for my life, because I know that I probably would've never survived-" Right.you know, had I not met you."Oh, yeah, he changed big time for you.I know.Big time.And when people say that people don't change, you know- That's whatyou're never gonna make somebody change.And I don't think I made him change.No, I think- just wanted to be a better person.He did.You made him wanna be a better person.You made him wanna grow up and be a husband.Yeah.Um, and that, that was so cool.Yeah.I just, I loved that aboutAnd do you remember when he used to kick his boot, the heel of his boot back?Yeah.I'd catch my brother doing that all the time.Aw.Really?Like little things like that, yeah, yeah.He definitely wasDave was definitely a Bonhoft.Oh, for sure.Yeah.Yeah, definitely.And, uh, yeah, he was the last one to actually, blood anyways, to carry the last name.He was, yeah.And now- Oh my gosh, no, wait.DaveWayne, Wayne has the last name still.Is, is Wayne gone?No, no, no.Oh my gosh, I was gonna say.But mean, to carry it on.He's- Oh, right, right, right, right.Okay.You know, the legacy stuff.Yep.I understand what you're saying.So, um, Dave's son has?After, aft- no, after Dave passed away, um, his, um, stepdad, which is now his dad, adopted him.Okay.And they changed his last name.They did?They wanted to name him Wayne.Oh.And his girlfriend was like, "Absolutely not.""I'm not naming him Wayne.""I'm not naming either."So his middle name is Wayne.Oh, okay.Yep.Huh.Yeah, I wouldn't have guessedBut he, but he did have Bonhoft What, his name is Jax, right?Jack.Oh, Jack.He's Jack.J-A-C-K, Jack Wayne, and it was Bonhoft, now it's Rosengren.Okay.'Cause Colton, we changed his last name to Bonhoft when he was going into kindergarten.I didn't know that.Mm-hmm.Oh, you didn't?So carries the last name even though he's not blood or whatever, but he does carry that last name.Yeah.Huh.Well, 'cause like Tony doesn't.No, he doesn't, but he was gonna ch- But even didn't.No, never.And, and neither did Deborah.OnlyI was the only daughter-in-law that kept the Bonhoft last name.ThatReally?They all kept their last names.Very odd.I mean, I wanna change my last name.I've been waiting, that's the only reason I haven't changed it legally, 'cause I'm like, "One of these days, I'm gonna be able to change my last name."So you're not gonna be like a MacBonhoft whatever?Oh no.No, absolutely not.hyphenate the fucking, we're just gonna keep hyphenating outh- You know whatAnd Victoria's my middle name, so imagine how long that makes it.Oh God.Right?Yeah.You're like, no wonder you got carpal fucking tunnel in this center.Yeah,Signing all that shit.Fuck, for fuck sakes, I'm almost done.Here, uh, uh, fuck.here she's still signing.You just, yeah."Can I get another pen?"Oh goodness.But um, Tony actually was gonna change his name.He thought about it for a long time.He's got a big tattoo right here that says Bonhoft.Yeah.Yeah.Okay.Yeah, and just, Becky never took the last name- No, she didn't.so Tony just kept her- Right.Like, like Louellen is like a truck driver's name.She married- Yeah, right.when she was 18.Wasn't she a truck driver?So that's last name it was?Yes.I thought that was her- No.her, her biological dad's last name.No.Louellen was a, when she got married, her first marriage, she was 18, to the truckknow that.I didn't know he was a truck driver.Yep.Um, like this older guy too.Like, she was 18 and he was like in his 40s.What?Yeah.Jesus.Yeah.That's whose last name she still carries, and it's a beautiful last name, I think.Oh, yes.And Tony carries.So somebody that he doesn't even, know.Well, and Tony never met his real dad either.I know.The d- real dad didn't want to.Right.Which is shitty, butYeah, but he, um, you know, my, my dad was really hard on Tony.I know.I think even harder on Tony than he was on Dave.I know.But that's- But boy, he still, uh, towards the end, you know, when my dad was still alive, um, Tony spent a lot of time with him.Yeah.He lived there.there.The 2 of them just lived together.Becky had already moved out, so yeah, they, they grew to have a good relationship.Yeah.Which thank goodness.Things like that do happen for a reason.I think Tony was really able to see that.Yeah.Um, you know, my dad really did love him and cared about him.Yeah.One of the best part- Even Colton and Jim, they had their, definitely had their issues.I mean, uh, I, and this is honest to God's true, is Jim was jealous of the relationship that I had with my own son.And it seems stupid to say that, but he admitted to me that he was.Really?Yeah.Why would he be jealous?That's interesting.Yeah.I don't know bec-And I think this is, I, I, I do know, Colton was super cute, like super good in school, like a super good kid.And like everywhere we went, like everybody would be like, "Oh my God, he's so freaking cute."He was beautiful.So cute.Everywhere we went, he would get complimented or I would get complimented."Your son is so handsome," and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.And for whatever reason, that irritated Jim.And he told me one time when he wasreally upset and we getting into a deep conversation that he felt like his son, Jesse, wasn't, didn't get that.Like wasn't super cute and stuff like that.And this is just repeating what he said to me.'Cause I remember Jessie being really cute too.Yeah.And I've seen pictures of him when he was little, but like justAnd I think it had to do with, he was super crazy about me being with somebody else.And I think that is what, what the bottom line was.I think when you- That when I had a kid with somebody else, you know, and Colton wasn't his kid- Yeah.so he was jealous of that, that this kid got all of this cuteness and good looks and da-da-da-da-da.And it wasn't something that he created with you.It wasn't something- Right.It was something that somebody that now I hated and he hated and da-da-da-da-da created.But I'm like, "I can't take it back."No, you can't take it back.You have a beautiful son, no big deal.But I, I think, um, just speaking for both of us as single moms- Mm-hmm.I mean, when you have a boy as a single mom- Yeah.your bond, not that you don't with a girl, with a daughter, but that bond with a boy is just- I think There's just something about it.I agree.mean, I, I've heard many times that, you know, that's, it's a different bond than you do have with a daughter.And as single moms- Yeah.I think we did everything we could to be the one best parent that they have.Yes.Right?And so I think your bond was probably a lot stronger.Right.Um, and, you know, that probably could've made him jealous too.I don't know.And, and I, I don'tI just feel like, like Steve did with Tony, he, I feel like he picked, he picked on Colton- Oh.a little bit more than what he should've and was harder on him thanBut then- I agree.But then you, then I always go and I think, "Well, he did the things that he did because he wanted him to be a man, you know?"He did.He wanted to be a man and da-da-da-da-da, but I just felt like some of the stuff that he did, um- It was premature.It was.Like he didn't need to be a man at 8 years old.Right, right,You know what I mean?Like he wanted to make him- Yeah.strong and like a man, but- Right.My dad, same thing with Tony.Could few years later in life.Right.Or just used things that were appropriate for the timing.Right.Like, you know.Yeah.Let's make him strong, but he can still cry as a kid.Right.Right.And that's, yeah.I mean, they were bond the most.They were- They were.uh,bonded the most, that's for sure.They were, like when it come to men stuff, like men things, now if had Colton been a daughter, it would've been a whole different thing- Right.I think.Um, so I don't know.Very different.Yeah.And I felt like, you said your dad treated you differently than he did Dave.He treated me differently?Yeah.Did he not at all?Uh,No.Oh.I don't feel like he treated me any differently.That's why I didn't know, like, I was his favorite or anything.Oh, yeah.Him and Dave got so close once it came to Dave's teenage years, where he would ride along in the truck with him and go on jobs and all that.Yeah.They really grew, I feel like later in life, they grew to he- have an even tighter bond because they worked together and stuff.Yeah.And they did drugs together, soWell, that's where- Ride around in the truck, doing drugs, what tru- That's- What, what do they do?What, what do you do for work?They're pipe fitters.Oh, they'reTony's a pipe fitter too.Yeah.I see Tony all the time actually.You do?Mm-hmm.Mm-hmm.Have you seen him?I, I got together with him and Becky, um, maybe like a year or 2 ago.Oh, okay.MaybeNo.I've, I had this car, so within the last year.Yeah.I love seeing him.You know, he's, he's my brother no matter what.Yes, he is.Um, there's no question.He, I don't call, I've never called him my stepbrother.Right.He's my brother.Where like, you know, where, when my mom remarried, those are my stepbrothers.Yeah.And I don't have a relationship with them- Yeah.really.Um, but yeah, Tony's my brother.I mean, he's- How oldalways been.He was around- What, 3?Mm-hmm.He was like two and a half or 3 when he came into my life.Yeah.Um, and he had the cutest little bowl cut.I swear Becky like took a scissors and like put a bowl on his head and around.Ah!We had that backHe was the most adorable little boy.I mean- Yeah.I remember being, 'cause I guess I was kind of motherly.Yes.So I was just head over heels for him.Yeah.He was adorable.And I knew Tony when, the minute he was born.I know.And then we realized that too.That thing.Yeah.Yeah.Very weird.UmSo I introduced your dad and Becky.I know.Yeah, at a wedding, right?I was date with Jim, uh, at the fricking VFW in Princeton.Oh, I thought you guys were at a wedding when they met.Nope, we were at the VFW in Princeton, and maybe it was a wedding, I don't know, or a reception or something like that.But we were at the VFW in Princeton and, uh, Becky was there, I think, with her mom.And, um, Jim and I just stopped in there, and then Steve was in there.We weren't even with Steve, I don't think.And Steve happened to be in there, so then I introduced them 2.And that was like one of Jim andYou know, we were, we were like maybe a month or 2 into dating at that point.Oh, really?Yeah, it was very early.Oh, I didn't know that.Because then they got married long before we did.Before, before you did?Oh, yeah.Oh, I didn't know that either.Yeah, like 2 years before.I don'tThey, they met and like, boom, boom, they hit it off and gotFlew off to Vegas and got divorced.Yeah, I remember, uh, my dad coming to a birthday party.I don't rememberMaybe it was Dave's birthday party, because we were at, like, that Yogi Bear campgrounds or whatever.Yeah.Oh.Some shithole.We went to one in Wisconsin.It was badass.Yogi Bear?Yeah.Yeah.I don't know, I'm not really into camping.So I justI'm not a camper.I mean, I'll glam or I'll, I'll do aI love doing- Fucking bougie.No, no, no.I'm not bougie like that.I like to just be able to, like, have a peeper at least so I can go to the bathroom.Right.I'm like, "Great."A peeper.So you don't wanna go to the outhouse?No, not particularly.Yeah.I don't.Same withAnd I would rather, like, haveI mean, I've sleptI did it for Sam.I did.My friends went camping with their kids every year.Mm-hmm.So I did it with him quite a few years where I took him and we camped in a tent, and all of that stuff.It'sBut yeah, I mean- Oh.every time you walked in there, there's grass all over my bedding.There's bugs everywhere.Rotten.Yeah, it wasIt's hot as fuck.But yeah.Your, your air mattress goes flat- Right?Halfway through the night?whenYeah.Ugh.